How nice to find so many like-minded individuals. Seriously. Or not. And that’s what’s especially nice. Psalex, you hit a point that I’ve often struggled with. Being able to hang out with the guys and talk guy stuff and have kind of “rough” fun but also enjoying a good intellectual discussion, clever and lots of humor and some intense soul searching along with inspiring and being inspired towards personal growth. And I’ve never found one person that I could do all of that with. My needs are so diverse and sometimes contradictory. I’m technical and logical as well as emotional and creative. I’ve managed to learn computers quickly and love fixing things, but I also couldn’t handle life without my piano and guitar and writing. I don’t expect them all to get met by one person, I’m not really that demanding or picky in general, but in all my years it seems I can have one end or the other end but never both types in the same person.
And if6was9, I know what you are saying about “first impressions”. I’m by no means a head-turning kind of person. Even in my younger days, when I had a great body which would turn a few heads, I was never classically beautiful. And I never minded because I knew that it made me develop my other strengths that are, to me, more lasting. (Although having long red curly hair still gets me noticed, but that’s not always a good thing, especially when you’re trying to disappear.) I’m the sort of person that when someone gets to know me, they suddenly think I’m attractive. And I just found out tonight, having finally purchased a new bathroom scale that I’ve lost 30 lbs. I knew I’d gone down, but didn’t really know how much. I’m not where I want to be still, but I’m a heck of a lot closer. Heck if I cut my hair and got a breast reduction, I’d probably be darn close. 
Jaade, hugs to you. My email is in my profile, feel free to use it anytime.
Davebear, good thoughts for happiness for you.
And Wyaaaaaatt, you never answered my question about what’s under a monk’s robe. (Sorry, I couldn’t let this stay too serious too long. This is Dave’s thread and we have an image to live up to, no?)
Yes, two hours later I came back and reread what I wrote (please tell me I’m not the only one who does this, mostly with longer or serious posts, but still, someone else pleeeease confess to doing this…)
Anyway, I realized how incredibly vain that sounded. And I’m so the opposite of vain when it comes to my appearance. I meant to say, and hopefully you all understood this anyway, that if I click with someone, this seems to happen. I mean I’m not anything special in the looks department, but once I’ve hit it off with someone they will say I’m cute or I have nice eyes or I’m this or that, and I think it’s because they start to see the whole person, not just the physical pieces. And the same goes for me. People who I may not find particularly appealing at first glance can become incredibly attractive to me if they’ve got
the right stuff coming out from the inside.
Salem I got what you meant and didn’t think it sounded like you were being vain at all.
I got it too Salem… hubby and I were discussing this just the other day!
I was standing naked in front of the mirror despairing of stretch marks and the ever present belly. While I know this is temporary and necessary to bring our son into the world my physical self image has always been poor and this makes it much worse. Anyway while I’m thinking all these ugly thoughts hubby comes in and rubs my belly and tells me how beautiful I am… even sexy!
Anyway the discussion boiled down to how you see people differently as you get to know them. Would either of us ever grace the cover of people magazine… no… but there’s something in us that calls to the other… that same thing that when he comes in sweaty and dirty from mowing the lawn that makes him still the handsomest guy in the world to me.
I come back and read my posts too and they usually make me cringe 
Lemme submit now before I just erase everything (As I tend to do with most of my posts… imagine the post count I’d have if I didn’t censor!!)
I missed this, earlier. {{{{{Dream Girl}}}}} I hope you do, too.
Yay! I got one right!
Hehehe…no, certainly not.
Attagirl! WooHoo!
Nah. It didn’t sound vain to me, either. It’s absolutely true, too. It takes people a while to see the “inner beauty” in others, most of the time. But, once they do, they begin to associate that beauty with the outer person, and the outer person “magically” becomes attractive. Heck, I’m a perfect example. I sent the lady I’m seeing tonight a photo (yes, I took one, recently. Can you believe it?) after we’d gotten to know and like each other. Her reaction? She said, and this is a quote, “You’re beautiful”. I laughed (oops), because I haven’t been called beautiful in 20+ years. But, she meant it.
WooHoo! 
But, pregnant women are beautiful! A little awkward in motion, perhaps, but beautiful at rest.
BTW, I’m not at liberty to discuss it, but I happen to know that our dear friend Psalex is also going through a very difficult time, right now, and may not be around for a few days. She could probably use your prayers and positive thoughts and energy, right now, even if she won’t be here to thank you for them.
And, I’m off, myself. I probably won’t get a chance to check back before Sunday. I guess it’s up to Wyatt to cheer this place up.
Thank goodness someone changed Wyatt back to acolyte from puppydog or his cheering up could have meant a lot of cold nose in delicate places!
And in case she’s lurking hugs to Psalex! I hope things improve! I’m not the master Davebear is but my email is always open to those in need of venting! (Oddly enough people do email me … the first few surprised me a lot)
(((((Psalex)))))))
And thanks Dave.
Inner beauty - My favorite…you know I actually had to ask a girlfriend if Studmuffin was goodlooking or not because I have been smitten with him for so long I know there is no way I can be objective. He is the best looking man in the world to me and it has nothing to do with his physical attributes - it’s just that I have a really bad case of “crush” for him.
There has been some debate about confidence and I still don’t know if either of you guys are getting what I mean about confidence. You seem to be comparing it to something y ou project in a bar and worrying that you will have to fake it when you have to take “the long walk” after she rejects y ou. Well first of all, I don’t do the bar dating scene so that never becomes an issue. I don’t think you will find meaningful relationships in bars. Bars are for drinking. The confindence I look for in a man is something I see in someone I know over time. A man I see in my neighborhood or in a group of friends or at work. You aren’t going to fake it. It isjn’t about sexual prowess or conquests, it isn’t affected by how much hair you have or don’t have. IT’s mostly about liking yourself, knowing yourself, being comfortable with who you are, feeling like you have something to offer. I am not sure you can fake it. It’s a genuineness of self respect and respect for others…not fakery and not arrogance…do you get it now?
Dave - silly man - it’s not the FIRST Time we’ve agreed…geez. Maybe we are too much alike and too different at the same time. I prefer sex to be totally emotionally connected as well but if that isn’t available, there are times when playful and disconnected have been a substitute (briefly).
I’m wishing good vibes your way, Psalex. May you find peace in your situation, whatever it may be.
Golly, seems like individual lives got serious All Over D.Bear land!!!
{{{{{everybody}}}}}
and restocks the sarsaparilla in the ice behind the bar
Well see we’ve all been drinking and talking so long that it was inevitable!
Yeah and here is agood one for you - I just got a RIF notice…for all of you who aren’t Gov’t Commies like me, it is the equivalent of a pink slip…basically mean the gov’t is realigning my job. I will be reassigned to a new job Nov 15th…oh well I always bitch that I don’t like this one anyway but gee if I get a new job, how will I screw off so much?
My boss is totally trying to fight it b/c I do such a good job here and “work so hard” !!
Somebody pour me a drink.
:: handing her a massive margarita ::
Sorry, mipiace. 
Y’know, this sudden string of bad vibes in this thread has me second-guessing my caving trip tomorrow. :dubious:
Welp at least you’re getting RIF’d and reassigned!
Wonder what the new job will be!
Always nice to have a boss that will fight for ya, isn’t it?
Even if, in every other way, the boss is a jerk?
Not a sudden string of “bad vibes” … goodness! Intense inner stuff, for some of us, to be sure, but …
D.Bear has Such a hot weekend planned he won’t even tell us about it …
Wyatt got his own brain back from the shop, and managed to watch enough Springer with the rental, that it showed less ‘usage’ when he returned it than when he rented it, so they gave him a rebate, and a “special customer” card.
Wyatt also had a small arguement with AOL, and instead of just bouncing him around on their phone system for hours, they shock admitted it was their fault shock AND gave him a month free to buy him off!!! (did it all with the rental brain, of course)
If6 is still happily quoting Hendrix rock on, dude
Rocky still rocks and is planning to go rock crawling!
What could be better!??!?
AOL?!?!?!?!?!
You use AOL?
I’m so ashamed!
:o :o :smack: :o
It’s true hangs head
I was young and foolish and not wise in the ways of the web … and I signed up with AOL … and got a whole buncha customer type people used to that email, and they are intermittent enough that I’d hate to lose them all … sigh …
And about every 4 months, for the last 4 years (literally) either the phone people or the cable people have said I’d have broadband … in 30-60days … so I waited to change out of it when that happened … (this month it’s the cable company who say I’ll be able to have it next month…):o
It’s the full moon. That’s what it is. I found it in the sky last night and it all started to make sense. Full moon. Odd happenings. Strange moods. But the good news is, it will pass. Always does. And in the meantime, let’s sing show tunes! Ok, ok I’ll start of you insist.
[Full Annie voice with curly red hair and lots of arm gestures] “The sun’ll come out tomorrow…Tomorrow, Tomorrow (more arm gestures, bigger now)I love ya tomorrow…You’re only a (big inhale, arms spread wide) daaaaaaaaaaaaay aaaaaaaaaa wwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay” [/ Annie, please, end Annie]
Ok, my dog just tried to commit suicide. Nobody likes a critic.
Yeah, what tanookie said!
actually, Comcast broadband (cable) ain’t much better … faster, yeah, but still a PITA for customer care/service :rolleyes:
YEah I do have a great boss - what a sweetie. At least I know I am appreciated.
And thanks for the Margarita Rocky - don’t mind if I do!