Parents who give their children such names should be summarily executed, but, let’s face it, there’s not a lot you can do with “Mycock.”
Umm, let me rephrase that…
There is a guy over in Grand Rapids, MI area that has the name of **Gary Swinehart **,
I think he sells life insurance. I dunno. The name just blinded my brain.
I mentioned this in another thread recently, but I saw a news story not too long ago, and the guy they were interviewing had the first name of Athol.
I wondered if his sister was named, “Thlut.”
Someone later said in that same thread that Athol was a well-known name in some country or other. Who cares? That name just plain sucks.
I went to school with a girl named Velvet Beaver.
No kidding. I will dig up my yearbooks and show anyone who’s interested in having that verifed. What were her parents thinking?
I know I post this in every thread about horrifying names , so please forgive me for the repetition.
I used to see a neurologist in St. Louis whose name was (honest to Og!) Dick Head.
Go to www.superpages.com and do a search for Richard Head in St. Louis, MO. You’ll find his listing at
Head Richard MD
10004 Kennerly Road, Saint Louis, MO 63128
He was a treating physician in this lawsuit.
I mean, that’s just horrible on so many levels. A head doctor named Dr. Head is bad enough, but on top of it, he’s a Dick Head?! That poor, poor kid – what he must’ve suffered growing up.
The Seattle Seahawks used to employ a DB named Harry Colon.
That um, they wanted to have a daughter who became a porn actress?
Seriously, that is a GREAT porn name!
I remember David Letterman was once looking at interesting newspaper clippings, one of them had somebody by the name of Dick Assman. Letterman contacted him and he ended up being a regular feature on the show for the better part of a month.
I knew a girl in fourth grade named Candy Boan. Pronounced “Bone,” of course. I think “Candy Bone” would be another great porn name.
I went to school with a whole family of Boans. A family of Dicks, a guy named Tim Gayness, I knew a guy named Jim Gay and a company I worked for had a part owner named Brandon Fag.
I met a Hoare recently. Since we were both working as rent-a-foreigners at the time, we agreed it was a pretty appropriate name.
My brother had a girlfriend with the surname Boocock, her friends all called her Scarypecker.
Well, you all have a celebrity in your midst, if you didn’t know it. Somewhere roundabout 1979 or 1980 my submission to the show “Real People” was read on the air. I had sent in a page from our phonebook that had a listing for a “Noah Nothing”. That was his real name. Turned out he was an old preacher, I believe. I never met the guy, but I sure was styling in my “Real People” t-shirt at school the next day.
My mother told a story of two people that were dating thatshe knew in her “younger days”… her name was hollopeter and his name was longerbone. Gah.
I went to college with a girl named Roxanne Clay. I swear.
Real name of my friend’s former boss: Dick Whithers.
Haj
When they run the credits at the end of “Cheers” and also on “Frasier”
one of the producers name is… Mary Fukuto
I can hear roll call at school now.
Teacher: Mary…fuh…uh…er…hmm
Mary: Yeah that’s right… Fuck you too 
Unless that’s her married name, then of course her husband’s first name would HAVE to be?
After reading this article, I found out the president of the Moore College of Art in Philadelphia is:
Dr. Happy Craven Fernandez
What else can one say.
I saw a woman on one of the TV court shows whose first name is Smurfette. Her mother actually named her after Smurfs.