So the Israeli guy from this thread buttonholed me after work–okay, to be fair, it may have been a coincidence, but it came across as a buttonhole to me. (Date is scheduled for next week, incidentally, if anyone was wondering.) We started chatting, and had a long + lovely conversation, which I have completely forgotten in light of (dun dun dun) A Revelation.
Perhaps it will help to explain that I have one of those faces that cause people to confess absolutely everything about their personal lives (including Deep, Dark Secrets!) within five minutes of meeting me. I don’t know what it is, but it happens literally all the time. (And by literally, I mean figuratively. 
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Maybe I’d just better put it bluntly? Basically, Israeli guy from work tells me that he feels little to no pleasurable sexual sensations in that fabled region where men generally do feel pleasurable sexual sensations. Doctors say it’s probably because of something gone wrong in the circumcision, but Who The Hell Knows, really. So despite enjoying kissing + foreplay, etc., he can and does have sex with women, but doesn’t really get much out of it.
Naturally, I was very soothing + nice + noncommittal, but I feel rather shocked. I know the best advice anyone can give me is probably something like, “Be friends with this dude and don’t worry about the future,” but. But. But.
Now that I’ve talked to him, I know that Israeli bloke from work is not only lovely, but NICE. And funny. And charming. Someone I’d be interested in dating. I don’t want to be judgmental or bigoted. I’m a liberal, damn it! I pride myself on being tolerant of everyone (except annoying people!). If I met a fellow who was interesting + lovely + charming + nice + funny and who happened to have, say, cancer or cerebral palsy or multiple sclerosis (insert your choice of rather grave diseases here), I’d like to think I’d be able to disregard the medical condition and focus on the person. I don’t know this for a fact, of course, but ideally that’s what I’d like to happen.
Does the whole sexual-medical-problem thing make a difference? Should it? I mean, look at Abelard and Heloise! People manage somehow. But sex is important to me, it really is. When you have a serious relationship with someone, there’s generally an expectation that eventually (maybe not until marriage if the other person has really conservative morals, but eventually) your relationship will include sex which gives at least a modicum of pleasure to each person. Is it wrong to want that? Surely there are people who have loving, successful relationships without sex.
I am glad to know this now rather than later, though. I think I’d have a heart attack if I were getting horizontal with a gentleman friend who then blurted something like that out at the brink of sweet, sweet lovemaking. And to this day I have rather close friends who don’t know some…shall we say…crucial aspects of my life, simply because I didn’t tell them at first, and as time went on it seemed awkward, and now we’re so close that they would be irritated with me for NOT telling them something so crucial, so it’s just easier not to mention it. So I do think it’s better to know what you might be getting into sooner rather than later. And right now I haven’t gotten into anything, but I could be. I might. Should I? Oh, dear.
I don’t know…I’m sure I’ve said something that’s blatantly offensive to someone, for which I do apologize. I’m just all at ends. If anyone has anything even remotely helpful to say, I would really appreciate it.
