And if the Screen Actors Guild goes out with them, we’ll never see Freddie Prinze Junior again!
Somebody do something, quick! :eek:
DDG, this is your chance to push that screenplay you’ve been working on! I could be wrong, but you can’t get into the Screenwriter’s Guild unless you’ve successfully sold a screenplay. So now is the time, Hollywood will be desparate for material! Go, Goose, Go!
Let’s write one together:
“Dude, where’s what I did last summer?”
Plot: Two regular Joes are stalked by an escaped mental patient with a hook for a hand. Stars Freddy Prinze Jr. and Jason Biggs.
I’ll write it! Dude! where’s my Enema?!? will be a blowout at the theaters! I don’t wanna let too much leak out, but it involves Ron Jeremy, Silvia Saint, and Jennifer Love-Hewuilitte (whatever.) They get in some Zany mishaps, let me tell you…
punk snot dead
They’ll get the script from the same place they got the original.
In a top secret government lab, they've been testing the old saying "If you put a million monkeys at a million typewriters, they will eventually type out the works of Shakespeare." They haven't hit Shakespeare yet, but they got this movie and several Adam Sandlers...They could always you this l’il fella
They could always use this l’il fella
If this double posts, I’m sorry. I’m an idiot.
A quote from Washington Post critic Desson Howe’s review of Battlefield Earth - “Forget the million typewriters - give a million monkeys a million crayons and maybe they could come up with a turd like this.”
Clinton’s out of job now. He could write and star in the Dude sequel.
I think we’re going to see a whole lot of great old black-and-white films re-shot, scene for scene, in color with modern actors and actresses, a la Psycho.
I can see it now: Gus Van Sant casts Vince Vaughan to play the lead in Citizen Kane, you know, “to make this great classic more appealing to younger audiences.”
And of course there’s the classic sequel game:
I Know What You Did Last Summer.
I Still Know What You Did Last Summer.
I Still Fcking Know What You Did Last Summer.
I Still Fcking Know What The Fck You Did Last Summer.
I Still Fcking Know What The Fck You Fcking Did Last Summer.
I Still Fcking Know What The Fck You Fcking Did Last Fcking Summer.
Fcking I Still Fcking Know What The Fck You Fcking Did Last Fcking Summer.
Fcking I Still Fcking Know What The Fck You Fcking Did Last Fcking Summer, F*cker.
(I sure wish I could remember who first wrote the above. All I know is it’s too clever for me to make up myself.)
Dude, Where’s My Fcking Car?
Dude, Where The Fck Is My Fcking Car?
Dude, Fcking Where The Fck Is My Fcking Car?
Cha-ching! I just made Hollywood a hundred mil.
[slight hijack] Ender, that’s a funny link. I watched the monkey for a while looking for actual words and the only one I found (twice, mind you) was snOt/SnOt.[/slight hijack]
[slightly bigger hijack] Oh, and I just finished re-reading Ender’s Game and Speaker for the Dead. Damn, they’re awesome![/slightly bigger hijack]
I’m still waiting for Duke, Where’s My Car?. Trouble is, I haven’t come up with a convincing answer yet.
To turn your hijack back to the subject, TroubleAgain, Ender’s Game is turing into a movie. They bought the rights in 1987 and Card’s been waiting for the right time to make it. All I have to say is Thank God he’s writing it himself and not a screenwriter that may or may not be there. There have been enough delays as it is.
Oh, and Ender’s Shadow is going to be filmed at the same time.
I wish I could laugh with you guys. Unfortunately, if the screenwriters strike, production will be suspended. In which case Mr. Rilch’s union status will mean nothing, because there will be no work. He and his pals are already talking about strike relief funds. I can find work, but a lot of the clerical jobs I do are also in the industry, which means the competition for non-movie-related jobs will be fierce. Can you see me in a hand-knit shawl, standing in a breadline?
ooo, yes, I see it, I see–Meryl Streep? Sandra Bullock? No, no, I have it! WINONA RYDER!! Yes, yes, the eyes, it’s those big pitiful eyes–and she’s standing in a bread line, wearing a hand-knit shawl, and here comes Mr. Rilch, back from his fruitless search for work. Harrison Ford? Too old? We want the 35-to-49 Oscar-material artsy-fartsy demographics here. Obi Wan? What is his name anyway? No, too pretty…
The only question in my mind is whether we ought to have a volcano erupt at the end, or have it be an asteroid impact. What do the Teeming Millions say?
DDG,
Have you seen Harrison Ford’s love interests in these movies? I’m expecting him to date the Olsen twins in his next feature.
Also, when you said Obi Wan, I thought “Alec Guinness? What? Ford is too old but Alec isn’t?” It seriously took me a few minutes to even consider the OTHER Obi Wan was who you were refering to.
“Too pretty!” I screamed. Half his face has probably been eaten away by now. The only movie Alec might have a shot at is Weekend at Bernie’s 3.