Oh, THAT'S what you meant!

In My Humble Opinion
1

My story: I had just switched careers; left my job eking out a slightly-above-the-poverty-line living as a public defender and become a contracts and project manager for a federal defense contractor. I was flush with new cash, and had gotten myself a nice, expensive, new suit which I was wearing to a client meeting.

As I headed out through their reception area after a great meeting, the receptionist looked at me. She was a gorgeous, model-type piece of eye candy with a seductive French accent, she had given me a nice smile when I came in, and now she eyed me as I strode confidently across the carpet.

Then she said, in her awesome accent, “Do you want to go out?”

I thought, man, this is it. I don’t have to scrimp and save, I’ve got the suit, I’ve got the job, this is the payoff when all that stuff comes together – gorgeous chicks actually start asking ME out!

So I stopped and said something inane like, “I don’t know – what do you have in mind?”

And she pointed at the actual exit door, NOT the door I had been heading for, and said in her cute accent, “If you want to go out, that’s the door.”

Ever been deflated by your own misunderstanding?

2

Oh, Bricker, that’s got to hurt. I have the definite feeling that something like that happened to me recently, but I seem to have blanked it from my memory…

3

Bricker, I’m sure I’ve done similar things in the past. Especially during my days as a Travelling Water Thief. But, like Sunspace, the memories are hiding from me at the moment.
Ouch.

4

Went to a live gig with a really hot frontman.

I got the impression that as he was performing, he was giving me the eye, and smiling, and generally trying to catch my attention. Soon I could not deny that he was looking right at me with the most adoring expression on his face.

Until I realized his stunning girlfriend was sitting directly in front of me.

5

:eek: ouch

Luckily she didn’t seem to pick it up.

Then again, she probably does it on purpose to every guy.

6

Ha, after many years this makes me laugh to remember it, but for quite awhile it made me cringe.

At work, there was a new guy, a professor – very smart, well regarded in his field, word on campus was that he was very nice and personable, and smokin’ hot. His single status was a big topic of conversation.

One evening he had some business in my department, and there was some issue with the waiting room (it was being painted?) and I suggested he have a seat in my office while he was waiting.

He came into my office, and said “Hey, this is a cool office.”

I then began a lengthy speech about my quest to adjust the air conditioning, and recounted, blow-by-blow, my negotiations with our HVAC guys, and my assessment of if my office was indeed cooler and better air conditioned than various other offices on campus. I vaguely realized I was rambling, but I couldn’t seem to stop.

Finally, he managed to get a word in edgewise and said “Actually, I meant it was cool, in that it seemed … well, interesting and different, like a cool place to work.”

I just gaped at him and said something lame like “uh yeah, I guess, okay.”

And then we sat in silence until the person he was waiting for was available and was able to flee, no doubt thinking about how my cool office was clearly a shield for the most socially clueless person on the planet.

Shortly after that, he was lured away by Columbia, and in my paranoid moments, I secretly fear I had something to do with it.

7

:smiley: That is a great story and it right cracked me up. Sure, you may have felt a little down about it at the time, but swallow your pride and tell that story to another girl someday and it may just get her laughing in a good way. :slight_smile:

8

Bricker – that is definitely the Pits. I sympathize.
I don’t think anything quite comparable has happened, aside from cases where I thought the Great looking Woman was ralking or waving to me, but was actually signalling to someone behind me.

9

My story is similar to cowgirl’s, which made me remember it, but mine is a bit more pathetic so I think qualifies for this thread.

I was in college and there was a fashion show - can’t remember if it was on or off campus at UC Santa Barbara. If you think I am invoking the name of the school because of the reputation it has for smokin’ hot coeds - well, you’d be correct.

Anyway, so I am there, basically in the middle of the crowd, when the models (men and women) start coming out. One of the women is an amazing Latina - just gorgeous - I suppose in an Eva Mendes sort of way.

As she is walking down the runway, I get the distinct feeling she is looking at me. I get a flashy smile, a knowing raise of an eyebrow and when she turns it is kind of like she is using me as person she is pivoting away from. A few minutes later, she comes down again and I get the same feeling. Only this time, a few guys around me start saying "hey, dude - she’s checkin’ you out!!’ and slapping me on the back.

For the next hour or so, she must come down the runway about 10 times, and every time, more people start in on me - “oh, man! She wants you!!” etc., etc. I start actually believing it - hey, maybe she is into me! Maybe I am Rico Suave (no, I don’t pause to smooth out my eyebrows or anything, but I am getting more that a little flustered while simultaneously feeling cooler than cool)

Finally, at the end of the show, I hang out - well, duh. I see My Beautiful Model™ finally emerge from behind the stage and start walking towards the crowd. Trying not to run, I make my way her direction. When I get close, I say Hi, she says Hi back and then I say:

  • Um, were you looking at me when you came down the runway each time?
  • Yes - you were great, thanks!
  • ?..?
  • Well, you’re tall and have an expressive face, so I could tell you were into the show. I always pick a person in the crowd and, you know, flirt with them to make sure I am on my best game.
  • Oh.

Just when I was about to build on my incredibly erudite response, a large group ran up to her - clearly her family (it was a local fashion show using local models - but did I mention that Kathy Ireland qualified as local and was fairly representative of the women modeling that day - don’t ask me about the time I helped Kathy when I was working in a bookstore in town…sigh). Anyway, her family crowded around her and I got pushed aside as they were jumping up and down about how great she was. Then one guy in the group gave her a big hug and kiss - clearly not her brother. I was completely forgotten as they gathered their stuff and left.

Damn. I walked home.

10

Aw, man, **Bricker ** - I killed your thread. Sorry!

And here I thought it was a pretty good story… :frowning: :slight_smile:

11

Aw, take heart, you didn’t kill it. It just hit one of those natural slow downs as the gears shift.

At least in your story, you didn’t totally bungle and mis-read her. She was focussing on you, which means that a hot chick picked you out of a crowd! :: high fives ::

12

Him: Do you want to screw?

OK, so we were working on a roof at the time. :wink:

13

This happened to a friend of mine, but I still laugh everytime I think of it.
Here in Seattle, their is a McDonalds at the main ferry dock and it has two lines that come together with a small fence separating them. One line is for people who have paid the ferry toll and the other is people off the street.

So my friend is 48 and looks 48, but the male ego, what a sad thing.

He is in the line off the street and in the ferry line is a young 20ish woman who is looking right at him. He looks behind him, but doesn’t see anyone. Looks back and she looks at him and smiles! He is thinking, yep still got it. The lines move closer together and she is looking directly at him now and openly smiling.

He is thinking…hmmm… I am a married guy, what am I going to do…the lines now are almost merged, and he is thinking 'how am I going to let this girl down, I am married, etc

Suddenly she is right beside him and she leans over to talk to him. He told me he was in full panic mode at this point. She leans over the rail and says to him…

“Excuse me sir–but you have the largest pile of bird poo on your shoulder!”

He looks over and he told me he was lucky the pile didn’t break his shoulder when the bird shit on him :slight_smile:

Talk about having your ego deflated!

14

I do hear you - but why did it make me feel like Farmer Ted (Anthony Michael Hall) in 16 Candles getting a pair of Molly Ringwald’s underwear to show to his geek friends, NOT like Mr. Mega Stud?? :smiley:

15

When I was in high school I went to a really awesome family-run music camp, and the camp’s director had a daughter who was still more or less pre-adolescent (maybe 12 years old?). Anyhow, I had to hang around an extra day after the session ended for some reason, so I made friends with her, and at one point she asked me “So, do you want to sleep with me tonight?”.

I did a savage mental doubletake before I realized she was asking if I wanted to, like, have a slumber party.

16

My most memorable experience of a “That’s what you meant!” time was while I was in University and working as a summer student engineer for a taconite mine in northern Minnesota. On one of my first days my new supervisor called me into his office and said “I’ve got a project for you. I need you to help me keep track of our satellites.”

My first reaction was “Cool! Outer space technology, satellite trajectories, some pretty high level stuff. This could be tricky but he must have a high regard for my abilities.” Luckily this was all to myself. By the time I got to thinking “Why is the mine using satellite technology to track equipment or whatever” I started to realize that he was asking me to keep track of the portable toilets scatttered throughout the mine and which, in this area, has the brand name “Satellite.” :smack:

17

Well, there was the time back in my teen years, when I was watching TV and my mother walked into the room and said, “Would you like to eat pussy?”
Turns out she was talking to the cat.

18

Still pretty kinky though :stuck_out_tongue: