Get a new doctor. It’s absolutely NONE of his business why you want one or how old you are.
I had to have it done twice, That’s VERY rare, but somehow, the vas lines still kind of lined up and apparently the doc did not cauterize them very well. Anyway, I only say that because the procedure is about as difficult as getting a cavity filled.
Very little pain afterwards. No bothering with ice or anything. Drove myself home after both procedures.
The doctor I’m OK with, but this is why I hate going to my tailor.
I think they all ask why you’re doing it. I agree that they shouldn’t try to talk you out of it. But some people are under the assumption that it’s like turning a valve and they can just get it undone perfectly down the line. It’s still surgery, there’s risks and reversing it is not guaranteed. These are all things that need to be discussed.
Agreed, I think it’s perfectly appropriate for them to ask why you’re having it done and whether you’re sure about it, but it should stop there. You shouldn’t have to win a formal debate to have your procedure done.
Regarding the OP’s doc, is he a urologist? Because my general practitioner didn’t even so much as look at my private parts, he simply referred me to a urologist who did all the dirty work.
I’ve written about my procedure in several other threads the past few months, and let’s just say that even though mine was considered “difficult” by most standards, I didn’t think it was that bad and it was in fact well worth it.
I agree that the doc should inform the patient that it is non reversible. But this got under my craw -
[quote = OP]
He didn’t seem to interested in having me get it done.
[/quote]
Not that it matters, but the OP is 39, divorced and with 2 children. And the doc is hesitant?
It may be her right to have kids but how in hell does that obligate you? This is why I use being gay as my birth control.
Isn’t there a vasectomy thread about every month? Here’s my post from one about 10 days ago:
It was a local anesthetic. My doc did ask me a couple questions about why I wanted one, how old I was, whether I had any kids, etc. just to make me understand that it’s not always reversible. And he snipped out a section of the vas, cauterized the ends, and attached a tiny clip to each end- I can feel it through the scrotum if I feel around for it. Those suckers aren’t getting out, no way, no how.
Well, personally, even if the doctor’s “bedside manner” is somewhat less-than-stellar - if he’s got a good reputation otherwise, I don’t think you should be necessarily turned off by someone who’s really good at his job, but not the best in inter-personal dynamics.
I can see why he would drill you at least a little bit on the permanency factor. 39 is pretty young to be 100% decided on having no more kids, but not outrageously so. And lots of guys in their late 30s and early 40s DO get remarried and have another kid or two with the second wife - it’s kind of cliche, it happens so often. I really would try hard not to take this line of questioning personally. They probably prefer a little prevention rather than the “cure” of having to attempt a reversal procedure.
I know that when my husband had his done last year at age 31, he got LOTS of questioning about his decision. He shut them up pretty quickly by informing them that he’d had four kids in the last 5 years, but they still required ME to sign off on the procedure.
For the record, he took it pretty easy for a few days (bag of frozen peas on the offended area) and did most of his usual home-office work in bed, instead, with a laptop. He was pain-free after day 2, but still reported some tightness/twinges when standing up/sitting down. Even that seemed to fade out after about a week or two at the most.
I don’t understand why docs are so militant about vasectomies. It’s usually reversible, right?
My sis underwent something similar. She was married, had two kids, and had had over a decade of fairly serious problems in that area that usually indicate a hysterectomy is a good idea. And she could not find a single doctor who would do it. They all insisted she might want more kids later, never mind that her problems were getting so bad it would be doubtful she’d conceive again, much less carry healthily. It was ridiculous. She was 25 at that point, and they universally said ‘You’re too young’.
I get PISSED at doctors who make moral decisions for their patients. It’s not right, especially when the procedure is medically sound. She went through another decade of pain and problems before she found a doctor that would finally consider surgery…and even then he only wanted to take out one ovary or somewhat, ‘just in case you change your mind’. SO retarded.
Are doctors personally open for liability suits if someone changes their mind later? NO. When it’s requested, it should be done. And when it’s medically expedient, it should be done WITHOUT AN INQUISITION!! This makes me SO pissed.
It is not usually reversible. My doc quoted a 50% success rate for reversal.
Good Christ, Dude, dial it back a notch.
First of all, it is not easily reversible. The reverse surgery is more difficult, more likely to have complications and is only like 50% effective.
Secondly, it is only prudent for a doctor to discuss options and ramifications with patients, especially for a vasectomy which is not exactly a life saving procedure. No doctor who performs vasectomies is going to have a moral issue with vasectomies. They certainly shouldn’t be a dick about it or make the decision for the patient but a simple discussion is certainly reasonable.
I’m fine with not so great bedside manner, I’m that way myself. It’s that he wouldn’t let it drop. He asked me if I had kids, how many, how good their health was, what if something happened to them. He also told me I might meet someone and want to have kids. How expensive it was to reverse. How much it hurts. And it wasn’t just once it was multiple times.
He also wasn’t very genital with me as one side still hurts a bit. It really seemed to me that he didn’t think I wanted it done, as if I haven’t thought about it. I don’t want a teenager when I’m 60 or so. It seems that the doctor I got was outside the norm.
On the plus side I seem to have found a no scalpel doctor near me. I think I’d rather have someone who’s more up to date on his practice.
Seems most of these are done with a local anasthetic on a Friday, and the patient spends the weekend laying around, back at work on Monday. That was the case for me, too. Why does he schedule them for Tuesday?
I agree with the above posts - find a new doc, or at least a 2nd opinion. Unless he told you why he thinks you need to be put under. Keep in mind being knocked-out for anything carries it’s own risks. At least from this thread it is clear that your doctor’s plan is not ordinary.
And regarding letting the woman handle the birth control - really? This procedure is quicker, easier, and less invasive than anything a woman would need to do. Guys, if you are done fathering kids, with anyone, go ahead and “take care of business”. The vast majority if these are quick, relatively painless, and effective.
When I wanted to get my tubes tied in my 20s, I had to get my husband’s permission. This was apparently Air Force policy, no matter how old the woman was. That was 30 years or so ago, but it pissed me off royally. I’d already been pregnant 3 times in two years. Once on the Pill (miscarriage), once on foam AND condoms used together (live birth), and once with an IUD in place (another miscarriage). I’d never wanted kids in the first place, and I certainly didn’t want to be either always pregnant or never having sex. I’ve never regretted getting my tubes tied, I only wish I could have done it earlier.
As for the OP, I think that the doctor has a duty to make sure that a potential vasectomy patient knows that the operation is likely to be permanent. But if you don’t want any (more) kids, then you don’t want any (more) kids. And if a new partner wants kids, then that might very well be a dealbreaker. However, once the doctor has been informed that you’ve made your decision about not having any more kids, he needs to respect that.
Obviously, I’ve never had a vasectomy myself. But I know several men who’ve had it done. A couple of them tried to cowboy up and do physical stuff before they were completely healed up, and they were sorry afterwards. Others took the opportunity to spend some quality time with their couches and remotes and ice packs. These guys weren’t sorry, and had very few complaints. So I urge you to be diligent about aftercare.
Easily?
No, and microsurgeons are pretty expensive.
Even if successful, they are not complete. Most post-reversal men have much lower sperm count and mobility the pre-op.
A vasectomy may also cause men to develop anti-sperm antibodies which will affect fertility even after a successful reversal.
There’s also some evidence that there is an increased risk of abnormal sperm which may result in birth defects.
Anyone considering the procedure should view it as permanent.
My husband had his done at Planned Parenthood when he was 34, married, no kids. It was cheap, easy, and there was no need for me to sign a permission slip. Just a consultation to make sure he understood what would happen and that the chances of successful reversal was not high. A few minutes in the stirrups, a couple days at home drinking wine and watching videos, a week of abstaining and no problems.
PP generally treats you like an adult which is more than I can say for many other doctors I have had over the years.
Interestingly, a Google search of “vasectomy” brings up www.vasectomy.ca.
Dr. Weiss happens to be the doctor who performed mine. There’s also alot of good information on his site.
Smoke from the crotch - gave me a bit of unease.
Assuming that everyone understands all of the implications of a procedure is not a good bet, hence the doctor questioning the patient. I don’t see that as imposing any morality.
I was told that most complications come from being too active too soon.
I was in a military facility and the “atmosphere” was less than ideal:
I’m exposed on the table, the young female medic steps on the button to raise the table - grinding noise, no movement. She gets her supervisor, he steps on the button - grinding noise, no movement. They bring in the medical equipment repairman, he steps on the button - grinding noise, no movement. He says he can fix it but not with me on the table. The surgeon comes in, steps on the button - grinding noise, no movement.
I found the second numbing needle very painful but it was a brief sensation.
My brother-in-law had had one and told me it was no worse than going to the dentist. I told him he needed a new dentist.
My wife had to give permission in writing.
As to why do this when there are free options for females, none of those options are 100% effective and 100% side-effect free. Of course, there is a low rate of failure with vasectomy because the body tries to heal itself. My doctor used the snip (removed a portion) and a clip (little sugrical clips on the severed tubes and the burn.
If it still hurts, it sounds like he was very genital with you…
That’s how how mine went.
Went in about 2pm. The attending nurse was a very attractive young lady (20-22 maybe). She did the final shave & prep and assisted the doc throughout. I didn’t ask (I figure she had heard every bad joke there is from guys about to have their nuts operated on) but I do wonder how seeing multiple wangs per day has effected her perception of men 
Anyways, two injections of anaesthetic, one per side. First one was OK, just a bit of a pinch, the second felt like he hit something solid going in (or was using his whole body-weight to get the needle through the skin). Some odd sensations of ‘movement’ a few low-pitched humming & sizzling noises and a slight smell of burnt flesh later I was done.
The main mistake I made was having to stop at the local shops on the way home so my wife could run in and get a few groceries - while sitting in the car I could feel the anaesthetic slowly wearing off and it feeling more & more like I’d had a solid kick to the groin.
With some pain-killers & rest over the weekend I was back at work on Monday but a bit tender and walking slightly bow-legged for a week.