I know this is a stupid question, but I have a serious problem with ladies in certain situations. Not in a misogynic way, of course, but I have a problem with approaching ladies in certain situations where it is obvious that we have each other’s attention. Normally at a party it is no problem, I’ll just go up and make something up to get a conversation started. In most situations I am okay. But having no connection at all is the worst. An example here. I was riding on the train back home yesterday and the person sitting across the isle on a seat facing me was a IMO pretty attractive girl who I’d like to get to know. But as we exchange all kinds of glances or whatever, eventually the time to get off comes. I never said anything although I was almost positive the girl wanted to get to know me as well. I normally don’t have many problems with girls, but this was kinda frustrating.
What advice can you give me about this kind of situation? I know nothing about what women think at times like this. What can I say? “Nice train, huh?”
Okay that was an exageration, but its not so easy, I don’t think. Okay girls, what do you expect when you cast more than a few glances at a guy? Do you just hope that maybe you’ll see him later? Do you want him to approach you? As we were leaving she was near me, and didn’t try to get away, I suppose that was a good sign as well. However, what can I do in most situations where I know nobody at all? What about at a bar when I see someone I don’t know looking? That situation would probably be a little easier, but otherwise I am a little perplexed. So tell me what do you expect when you look at a guy and start checking him out, but you don’t know him at all. How would you react if he approached you?
I know the situation you are talking about, and for me it’s often just a mutual recognition thing that maybe we are both single and find each other attractive, sort of an acknowledgement. For me that’s often all it is, and I don’t feel regret when we go our separate ways. But I wouldn’t be offended if the person said something after some exchanged glances; just accept whatever her response is (you should be able to tell if she is also interested in at least a chat). You don’t have to have a “line”; as maggy said, just say hello. It is a little harder to think of conversation without a context, but just be friendly.
Awkward small talk can be physically painful, so you should at least be a fair conversationalist to pull off the “approaching strangers” sort of thing. But the best way to improve is to do it more often! So I say go for it. Personally, I don’t have the balls to approach strange men, I usually give them the “looks” you describe and hope they come to me
I’m young, though, so I’m pretty much open to whatever conversation comes up. The latest conversation-starter that I used with a stranger that worked well was commenting on how men always sit with their legs apart and their hands flopped in their crotch (note: this is a good one, b/c half the men I meet are doing it w/o thinking! Then the smooth guys ask whether I find it attractive or not, and the conversation pretty much builds itself). The latest one used on me was the question on whether or not I preferred wool sweaters to acrylic. That one was fun. But don’t have a line ready, or it sounds cheesy. I prefer when people talk off the top of their head.
