Okay, my wife is concerned by my drinking.

[Stranger_On_A_Train]

@TruCelt

I haven’t read all the posts, but I will come back and do so. Please excuse any duplications I make. . .

The fact that it concerns her, and yet your nightly beer is more important to you than her concerns begs contemplation.

Some questions you might want to ask yourself: (I’m not pre-judging the answers, just suggesting that you consider these.)

Why didn’t you just say “Oh, OK then” and cut back?

Do you have trouble relaxing without the one beer?

What is the payoff here that you value over your wife’s comfort?

Do you think you are paying a price in intimacy (physical or emotional) by numbing yourself however slightly?

Is it possible that it’s the trend, more than the current state which concerns her?

Your Dad’s alcoholism would be grounds enough for a caring partner to pay attention and ask you to consider the path you are on before you go too far down it. If you are defensive, or refusing to consider the concerns, she may be escalating just in an attempt to communicate, rather than accusing you of having arrived at the end of the path . . .

With very slight rewording, every statement here could be turned around and directed at the wife of the o.p.

Stranger

[Nava]

@elfkin477

Can someone who drinks on a more regular basis even get a buzz from a beer? I suppose some people genuinely like the taste, but I can’t see the point of picking it over another drink if it doesn’t effect you much.

I get a buzz from half a bottle of Guinness or a quarter pint of British cider. I think that’s the right term: the world gets kind’a wobbly… It’s the reason I don’t drink: I do like the taste, but not the effects. Apparently I’m weird that way, since I’m told that most people who do drink like it.

And please, I know in English any word can be a noun, an adjective, a verb and an adverb, but I swear to Og that “effect” is a noun and “affect” is a verb! Something affects you, producing an effect, ok?

[ShibbOleth]

@Nava

And please, I know in English any word can be a noun, an adjective, a verb and an adverb, but I swear to Og that “effect” is a noun and “affect” is a verb! Something affects you, producing an effect, ok?

Both effect and affect can be either a noun or verb, depending on usage.

(but you are correct in that the usage in that sentence was incorrect)

[Diogenes_the_Cynic]

@Stranger_On_A_Train

With very slight rewording, every statement here could be turned around and directed at the wife of the o.p.

I disagree completely. Expressing a concern in a marriage is not the same thing as ignoring one.

[Zsofia]

When starting this kind of thread on the Dope you have to realize that it’s like a thread on spanking - people who were beaten daily with red hot frying pans are going to be overrepresented in the responses. Just a thing to keep in mind.

[Labrador_Deceiver]

@Diogenes_the_Cynic

I disagree completely. Expressing a concern in a marriage is not the same thing as ignoring one.

You’re right. It’s often much worse, as this case illustrates.