No, no, no. NEVER go with an original when a cover tune will do. Get a copy of William “Captain Kirk” Shatner singing “Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds” or “Mr. Tambourine Man”. Put this in a loop and you’ll end up on CNN!!
Watch out that little bro hasn’t started surfing here…
Funny, funny rant. 
A little bit of KC and the Sunshine Band perhaps?
I would suggest Paper Roses by Marie Osmond, but then your little brother could claim Justfiable Homicide.
I’d have to recommend against the singing fish. Lil’ bro has proven himself with the cheap musical baubles, it’s his domain. Sic’cing the fish on him would be like givng a Saddam Hussein a nuclear weapon painted pink. Might piss him off at first, but he’ll turn it around and bite you in the ass with it.
This could really be a grand, grand saga. Find out what your strengths are. What’s your occupation? Could that benefit you at all. Have any access to potential weapons at work? Or to anyone who could help? Does your bro have a computer? How proficient is he with the computer, compared to you?
Anyway, I look forward to watching this battle. Keep us posted.
Heh–your brother sounds like me when I was his age auRa. Yea, those were the days… 
Oh, and I’d suggest ‘Muskrat Love’ by America.
[sub](Background info: I am a very sound sleeper. I am also one of those people who find a position in which to sleep, then sleep in it. I move very little when sleeping. Sometimes I think maybe I should get one of those signs that Granny Weatherwax has, “I ATEN’T DEAD”, to avoid unnecessary strife and waking up spread out on the bed, surrounded by candles and people dressed in black with little black handkerchiefs. But that’s beside the point. The main point is, I move very little while sleeping.)[/sub]
So it’s my birthday today. I wake up. Well, actually, I just open my eyes–no reason to expose myself to the world outside the blanket yet.
Directly in front of me, on the bedside table, is Disembodied Santa Head. He is accompanied by Motion-Activated Dancing Coca-Cola Can. DSH has a rose taped into his mouth. MADCCC is supporting a card onto which has been drawn a cake with candles. Awww… my family is wishing me a happy birthday! I reach out for the card…
Of course it was turned on. This is still the Prepubescent Dr. Demento we’re talking about here.
However, the card did wish me a happy birthday, and it was a very nicely-drawn card. And there was a flower, too. I’m confused now. I don’t know whether to string him up or shake his hand.
Never let your guard down!
To quote General Akbar: “IT’S A TRAP!!”
First (b), then (a).
I sympathize with you completely.
One minor nitpick, however:
The tool you need is a spade.
You can’t dig a hole with a shovel.
For the love of god, call a spade a spade.
(Although shovels work well enough for beating siblings into submission.)
My dear Larry Mudd, I would probably dig a hole with an electric toothbrush if it only helped me rid myself of Disembodied Santa Head.
Hmph. Really? A spade isn’t a shovel? I have been deceived for 15 years…
only one thing could make your pain any worse…
Furbies.
Bwhahahaaaaaaaaa!
I can top that.
"I am the world’s first atomic powered robot . . . "
your humble TubaDiva
bet one of you knows the rest.
how about giving the budding evil one a nice, pretty cake (or whatever) for his next birthday… with the santa head baked inside (or cheat and use a layer cake, with needed cutouts to allow the thing to be placed within during assembly).
let the little bugger slice that one open.
there was a story years ago about 2 brothers who, had for 20-some years, been giving each other the same (much hated) pair of pants as a xmas gift - running gag kind of deal. One year, they were encased in concrete within a full-size concrete mixer truck.
get creative. living well is the best revenge in the long term, but for now…
Isn’t this what the White Elephant swap was made for?
You have to find your brothers weakness and exploit it. Your mistake was showing yours.
Steal all his underwear and replace with girls underwear.
Surround his bed at night with creepy dolls holding knives.
Take all his music cds out of their case and replace them with Enya cds.
Food coloring in the shower head. (timing is critical)
What’s that chemical that will turn his pee blue, but is otherwise harmless? Get some and sneak it into his food.
You must taunt him on the beaches. You must fight hin in the skies.
This will be your finest hour!
Oh, I like this, Zebra. Must. Try.
I can’t believe I know this–except that I’m old–but that would be by The Captain and Tennille. Even worse, inherited into my vinyl collection from my wife exists a copy of that album.
fer you young’uns, an “album” is what we listened to music on before 8-tracks, cassettes, or them danged devil-born compaq disques. You may have seen one in the museum or antique store; it’s a black circle, kind of like a CD, but bigger, and it’s got grooves cut into it. We put a needle on it…awww, hell…just go out and play or something.
Wow, Threadspotting… I’m sure brother dearest would be honored, and extremely psyched, to know that his madcap exploits are being read by thousands all over the… well, the SDMB, but still.
Which is precisely why I’m not going to tell him. Mwahhaa.
Zebra, I like the way you think. I shall have to take all these ideas into consideration.
“Muskrat Love” sounds like something I definitely want to stay ignorant about.
I am in awe of a mind so diabolically clever in someone so young.
auRa, that kid has a future, if you don’t kill him first.
Sorry, stofsky, but “Muskrat Love” was recorded by Captain and Tenille and by America. It’s on the latter’s “Greatest Hits” album, even.
And kids know what albums are, even. They’re the black plastic circles the club DJs are scratching the shit out of.
Oh, and this whole thread is freakin’ hilarious. auRa, your brother has a long career ahead of him. Not sure in what, exactly, but clearly he has creativity and motivation.