A recent thread has explored what exactly constitutes when a person is “bad in bed”. It generally boils down to sex lives of the living dead. I can understand that and empathize.
So to go to the other end of the spectrum, what would women (or men) consider to be the bar where people are judged to be good in bed. This is above and beyond where normal sexual beings tread. So i take it to be a notch above the normal missionary style, slam bang thank you maam techniques.
While I have no (real) need for in depth details and how-to steps (or any of the prerequiste stretching techniques) if you think its pertinent to your post, go right ahead. Bear in mind that being married, I may indulge in a little vicarious living in listening to exploits but what I really need is the criteria that would judge a person to be good in bed. What makes your bed partner special above ordinary folks.
…wait rjung… Is repeatedly all in one session or thru different nights…?
and moi i need to know if youre a giur or girl… I heard that oral sex is a major plus point skill that women love being the recipient of. I’m trying to determine if thats true or not.
Being very sensitive to the needs of your lover. Paying attention to what makes them writhe in pleasure. Learning that if they don’t act like they enjoy what you’re doing, you shouldn’t try to force them to like it just because you do! Move on or ask them if they’ll do it for you, but don’t pressure them! Being communicative and asking what your partner likes. Make sure your partner knows what you like, as well.
Different strokes, so to speak. Oral is muy importante to me.
I’m pretty easily orgasmic (yay me! it’s my one good feature) so I’m not too picky or high-maintenance when it comes to sex. What is important to me is 1) a certain aggressiveness, and 2) an overactive libido. Also, they must be able to laugh in bed, because I tend to get giggly.
Having a partner who cares if you’re having fun or not is a plus
A sense of humor is a must have… never do you have more opportunities to do something hysterically embarassing than during sex! Your partner needs to be able to giggle with you!!!
Good communication skills and a willingness to try new things are also important.
Oh and then there is the oral sex! I’m a girl and that’s muy importante to me too!!! It is an extremely intimate experience both giving and getting. Certainly not something I would want to give up ever!
Being fun-loving, having good technique…meaning knowing where, when and how to touch and stroke, and with what and being generous enough to DO so and without whining about how Looong it takes, and how foreplay is such a chore etc.
Oral sex, and being good at it (again with the fun-loving, generous attitude and skill at technique, how, when, where to stroke).
Being loving.
The OP already addressed the obvious “wham bam, thank you ma’am” as being an example of being bad in bed.
Also included in that would be someone too distracted or quiet, someone who didn’t appear to be enjoying themselves or what you were doing to them.
Someone who refused to do more than just plain old intercourse missionary style and JUST so that he could get off no foreplay, no kissing, no touching, a guy like that would find himself doing without a LOT.
someone who shares my kinks (which are extensive), who is fairly agressive and likes to take the lead sometimes (i hate being the one who suggests everything).
i have to pipe up and admit to being one of the ‘oral sex does nothing for me’ women.
Yay. I’m the only person I know who is like this, and I’m the envy of all my girlfriends. It’s good to know there are certainly others out there.
I also guess it’s one of the reasons I do enjoy oral sex so much. Some of my friends find it’s very pressure filled to have all that focus on their pleasure; whereas, I know I’m going to climax (once, twice, three times) and can just enjoy myself.
To try to be really general - I think responsiveness is key. You can’t just do what feels good for you, you have to pay attention to what’s good for your partner and work on that (don’t just do it, do it RIGHT). That might be thing #1, in my opinion.
I agree with norinew, and also with gypsygirl31. I think I may be the only person ever to pull off the “Shirley” joke in bed. If that becomes my life’s biggest accomplishment, I think I’m okay with it.
