I’ve seen and heard the term “bad in bed” thrown around quite often, in books, on TV, in movies, etc. Sure, there are bad, less-than-perfect sexual experiences. But I’ve never actually heard a non-fictional person state that one of their lovers or ex-lovers is/was “bad in bed.”
I don’t know. I’ve always considered the act to be rather easy. There’s only a handful of parts involved, so there’s not a whole lot to get broken or misplaced.
So, any ideas? I’d love to hear some tales and anecdotes about past relationships with people who were “bad in bed.” I mean, were they always bad in bed? Just sometimes bad in bed? Even if you don’t have a huge (or any) basis for comparison, did you still know, somehow, that they were inherently bad in bed?
Again, I’m not looking for uncomfortable, bad experiences. We all have those. I’m thinking more long-term. What drives one to think that his or her lover is really “bad in bed?”
Had a gf who was definitely bad in bed. She would lay there, passive, unmoving, and thinking of England for all I know. All my other parteners over the years have enthusiastically responded to my efforts, so I don’t think it was some flaw in my technique. I hope she eventually married a closet necrophiliac. She did a pretty good imitation of corpse during sex anyway.
She would only lie flat on her back, ever. She turned her head to the side, closed her eyes tightly and made this annoying, “Ehh” sound every now and then. Periodicly she would say something really sexy like, “Would you like it if I stimulated your penis?” (she said it like PEE-nis)
What? Are we screwing or are you doing a science project?
Didn’t last long. Bad in bed. Come to think of it, she was about the only one I can say that about. All the rest were winners, with some even making up for certain shortcomings with an abundance of enthusiasm!
Fagjunk Theology: Not just for sodomite propagandists anymore.
Other than the psychological issues JohnBckWLD mentioned, from the female perspective, “bad in bed” can mean a guy who is a one-minute-wonder and doesn’t show any consideration for his female partner’s pleasure. Another way a guy can be bad in bed is if he’s just pounding away like a jackhammer with no technique, or thinks the natural position of our feet is “hooked behind our ears.” :rolleyes:
Oh, you meant not any fun in bed! I agree with the above. Lack of enthusiasm, and not taking pleasure in your partner’s pleasure. ("EWWWW! That’s not the missionary position!!! I’m not doing THAT!!) Withholding sex or using sex as a relationship weapon probably count too.
The attitude items listed by johnbckwld are all more important than anything physical, but there are some physical things can diminish the experience. Being with a woman who can’t seem to get aroused is pretty disappointing. Or if she doesn’t move at all the whole time. Or doesn’t express any preferences or particular enthusiasms. Or if the woman doesn’t seem to have any muscularity or tension in certain places, then there may not be enough gripping action to keep things stimulating. But mostly, the ‘bad in bed’ issue relates to being inhibited or disinterested in having sex in the first place. Physical problems reflect the woman’s attitude more than any particular anatomical issues. I’ve been with a woman who was at times wonderful in bed and at other times was just terrible, depending upon her mood and how the relationship was going.
Out of my past partners, two would qualify–in my book anyway–as BAD.
One was horridly unimaginative, to say the least. Same way, every time, incapable of mixing it up, couldn’t get off unless things were just so, despite my best efforts.
The other, well, he was just a sad case all around. Guys, you know how we say “that’s okay, it happens to everyone”? That’s true. But what’s also true is that if it happens every frickin’ time you ought to see a doctor instead of just pretending things are hunky dory.
If you sprain or dislocate ANYTHING - on yourself or your partner - you’re probably bad in bed. In fact, if anything you do sexually results in a hospital visit, that should qualify.
I’ve never had any of my buddies say they’d been with women who were bad in bed. But I’ve had some female friends who told me their boyfriends were bad in bed. (And yeah, sometimes it was a pretty non-subtle invitation.)
I did have one lover who could not KISS to save her life. Lovely girl, otherwise very good in bed, but she simply could not kiss right. So maybe there’s a physical skill thing to various acts of love.
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[sup]I was waiting for the feminine perspective and knew exactly what she’s say, except for that “hooked behind our ears.”[/sup][/ul]