Okay, parents of small children in public places, listen up. I’m willing to cut you some slack regarding your precious offspring having a good loud crying spell in a restaurant or theater or whatever. Little kids will cry, that’s what they do. Of course, if you were really considerate, you’d take them out of earshot when that happens, so others wouldn’t be disturbed while your baby hollars…but no. No, I realize that’s a bit too much to ask in these more tolerant times.
No, you can’t help it when your child shrieks in protest at something. But for the love of God, you CAN help it when your child shrieks in JOY at something!
Case in point: Today was extra crappy for me, so I thought I’d go to an ice cream parlor. It’s an upscale Ghirardelli’s on Michigan Avenue. I thought I’d have a hot fudge sundae, read, and relax.
Unfortunately, at the table behind me, there was a little girl, maybe three or four, who was giving Ghirardelli a really good Yelp review.
By which I mean she Yelped over and over, “YUMMY!!
DADDY THIS IS YUMMY!! DADDY? DADDY!!! THIS IS REALLY REEAALLY GOOOD!!! YUMMY!!! DADDY THIS IS YUMMMMEEEE!!!”
Daddy was sitting next to her, ignoring her, and talking with the other two women at the table. The women did at least try to engage the little girl. Once in a while they would say to her, “You like that, huh?”
To which the little girl would say as if they were hearing-impaired, and also outside in the street and down the block, “IT’S YUMMMEEE! IT’S SOOO GOOOD!!! DADDY??? DADDY!!! YUMMEEEE!!!”
And Daddy replied evenly, “That’s nice honey, I’m glad you like it. But let’s talk quietly about it. Just like I’m talking now. You hear me talking now just like this?
Let’s talk like this, okay?”
Ah, ha-ha, no, of course he didn’t say that. He didn’t say anything. And in a few years, the little darling will be saying to the therapist, “DADDY NEVER TALKED TO MEEEEE!!!”
I’ve noticed this happening a lot. Kids screaming, and the parents do nothing. Even when it’s happy screaming, it’s still inappropriate in certain public places like restaurants. And happy screaming is easily stopped as opposed to a tantrum.
And now, my crappy day is crappier.
Maybe I should’ve started screaming.