Okay, You Can't Stop Your Kid from Crying, But...

Okay, parents of small children in public places, listen up. I’m willing to cut you some slack regarding your precious offspring having a good loud crying spell in a restaurant or theater or whatever. Little kids will cry, that’s what they do. Of course, if you were really considerate, you’d take them out of earshot when that happens, so others wouldn’t be disturbed while your baby hollars…but no. No, I realize that’s a bit too much to ask in these more tolerant times.

No, you can’t help it when your child shrieks in protest at something. But for the love of God, you CAN help it when your child shrieks in JOY at something!

Case in point: Today was extra crappy for me, so I thought I’d go to an ice cream parlor. It’s an upscale Ghirardelli’s on Michigan Avenue. I thought I’d have a hot fudge sundae, read, and relax.

Unfortunately, at the table behind me, there was a little girl, maybe three or four, who was giving Ghirardelli a really good Yelp review.

By which I mean she Yelped over and over, “YUMMY!!
DADDY THIS IS YUMMY!! DADDY? DADDY!!! THIS IS REALLY REEAALLY GOOOD!!! YUMMY!!! DADDY THIS IS YUMMMMEEEE!!!”

Daddy was sitting next to her, ignoring her, and talking with the other two women at the table. The women did at least try to engage the little girl. Once in a while they would say to her, “You like that, huh?”

To which the little girl would say as if they were hearing-impaired, and also outside in the street and down the block, “IT’S YUMMMEEE! IT’S SOOO GOOOD!!! DADDY??? DADDY!!! YUMMEEEE!!!”

And Daddy replied evenly, “That’s nice honey, I’m glad you like it. But let’s talk quietly about it. Just like I’m talking now. You hear me talking now just like this?
Let’s talk like this, okay?”

Ah, ha-ha, no, of course he didn’t say that. He didn’t say anything. And in a few years, the little darling will be saying to the therapist, “DADDY NEVER TALKED TO MEEEEE!!!”
I’ve noticed this happening a lot. Kids screaming, and the parents do nothing. Even when it’s happy screaming, it’s still inappropriate in certain public places like restaurants. And happy screaming is easily stopped as opposed to a tantrum.

And now, my crappy day is crappier.

Maybe I should’ve started screaming.

I wonder whether it would be more acceptable for ultra-decibel level kiddie shrieking to occur at Dairy Queen as opposed to an Upscale ice cream joint. :dubious:

Anyway, there is nothing to be done. Parents like these are accustomed to having their eardrums blasted by such kids, and nothing must be allowed to interrupt their own conversation (or more typically, yammering or otherwise fussing with their cellphones).

Console yourself that at least you don’t have to go home with that kid.

**Okay, You Can’t Stop Your Kid from Crying, But…**you CAN stop them from escaping the cellar.

God I hate to hear that screaming, crying, shrieking in public.
The lil’wrekker was a talker, a loud talker. It took me many lessons to teach her the inside voice/ whisper thing. But, when she was a baby I never took her anywhere at or about naptime, feeding time or when she was cranky from teething or something. It wasn’t hard to do. Simplest thing ever.
Around these parts if you hear a kid screaming or crying in a store the next thing you hear is a parent screaming back at them. Or spanking them. I’ve seen it many times. I find it disturbing. I absolutely would not say anything to the parent. That would be foolish, indeed. These moms are crazy.

If you can’t stand the sound of little kids making joyful noise, maybe an ice cream parlor wasn’t the place to go, especially if you were having an extra crappy day.

Just a thought.

Standard advice. If you want to discourage attention-seeking behaviour, ignore it. Responding to it reinforces it. Intermittently responding to it reinforces it more strongly.

You can’t reason a toddler into silence or quietness. Toddler don’t respond to reason.

Adults should, though. So here’s some reasoning; you want to avoid the company of toddlers, maybe stay away from icecream parlours?

yeah if there were other people there you’d of heard "awww how cute " and people trying to engage with the little girl …

I’ve never gotten the whole " im negatively emotional today/week month year etc" so the public needs to stay outta my way while I’m in the outside world … school of thought

You can take your kid outside of the ice-cream parlor if your kid is crying. I had babies in Manhattan. We took them out to eat several times a week, because “out to eat” is often cheaper than “cook for yourself” in Manhattan, and God knows, there were lots of choices.

My kids rarely cried at restaurants. But when they did, one of us would pace the sidewalk with them until they quieted down.

Joyful noises are a little different. I kinda think joyful noises in an ice-cream parlor are okay. Also a pizza joint. Not a fancier restaurant. What bothers me about your story is that the dad completely ignored the child.

A librarian taught me a secret when I volunteered in a library. If you talk to someone really quietly, they usually reply to you quietly. That’s what the dad should have done. When the girl said, “YUMMY”, he should have given her his full attention, smiled at her, and said, “Yes, this ice-cream really is yummy. That’s why I brought you here.” If she continued screaming, he might have continued with “I’m really glad you like it sweetie, but let’s try to be a little quieter for all these other people. What do you especially like about this ice cream?”

They have special places for adults who want to escape the sounds of children loudly expressing feelings of joy and sadness, but unfortunately they usually don’t serve ice cream. They’re called “bars.”

Teach your children an inside voice as early as you can. If you don’t a teacher or an aide will. Probably after calling you to come in for endless conferences and many notes home. Along with walking in line most kids learn it before kindergarten is over. And, keep your hands to yourself.

I think it’s kind of awesome to watch a child enjoy an ice cream so much that they loudly proclaim how much they like it. It’s pretty cool, I think.

Yeah, that doesn’t work. When kids are upset, they scream. I’ve heard innumerable parents try that “Use your inside voice” crap with a screaming child; usually, the kid just screams more loudly. Using logic with a 3-5 year old is pointless. They’re pretty much incapable of logical thinking at that age. By the time they’re six or so, they’ve pretty much outgrown the screaming unless they’ve been over-indulged all along the way. Socialization at school usually fixes most of that.

It’s a process. Kids make noise. I grew up in a large family. To find a quiet spot was impossible. But we never went crazy out with Daddy on us like a tight pair of jeans. He simply didn’t allow it. But he was Marine D.I., so there’s that.

Happy noises never bother me. I used to live next to a playground, and my roommates hated the screaming and laughter, but I loved it. What drives me crazy is people who are ignoring babies in obvious distress. I just want to smack them around and then cuddle those poor, miserable kids. Celtling only cried like that in public once, and then she was an infant. She didn’t cry a lot in general, because I took care of her needs, and hugged her when she needed it.

It’s just not that hard.

I would think this would be a lot better in an ice-cream parlor than in a theater. Theater, take the kid out so the rest of the audience can hear what’s going on. Ice cream parlor, this IS what’s going on.

My office used to be across the street from a school. Grade-school kids scream when they’re out on the playground, a lot. Fortunately there was a window between me and the noise, but I didn’t mind hearing it because they were having fun. I can’t think of any way that could have made my day worse.

I’d rather listen to a thousand children shriek than to hear anyone refer to an animal as their furbaby or their children.

I agree with you. Meeting babies needs is simple.

It seems to me, you did, in your own unique adult fashion.

You Sir, are incorrect and your hypothesis is flawed.

Toddlers are quite capable of logic, I’ve used it raising 4 boys with more refinement and better result with each successive child. Dorkling rarely requires punishment or discipline because I used logic with him starting at age 2. The failure is with the adults.
Here is an article that supports my assertion.

I apologize for the naked link, it appears that between the boards, my phone and my browser, they’ve decided I’m no longer to be allowed to post links tagged onto individual words in the text.

For fucks sake OP.

I’m guessing you aren’t, and never will be, a parent. You annoy me much more than innocent kids do. Get a grip on reality.

I have to agree with this. My local sports bar, where I spend far too much time, doesn’t admit minors. But you don’t have to drink alcohol, and it has ice cream on the dessert menu. I don’t expect to encounter kids there.

But at a family restaurant or ice cream parlor, I do. So, when in such a place, I just deal. That doesn’t mean that behavior as described in the OP is appropriate–it’s just that it should not be unexpected.