Picked up the My First Bifocals ™ on my way into work.
Swear to god, if ONE more person tells me, “You’ll get used to them!” … { shakes fist }
I was nodding my head up and down like a baby duckling, especially at first.
Plus, I was kinda having an internal fit about the whole thing while I was there, and then the woman next to me was like, “I’m getting trifocals for the first time!” and I was like, “Bitch, let me have my moment!”
… gotta one-up me like that!
Oh, and I had a heart-to-heart with Sweet Manager and she promptly moved me to Friday close wid da boyz. As in, on the spot.
She understood why, too, and when I told her I felt bad - I did feel like I was throwing my coworkers under the bus - she told me SHE felt bad, that she’d been putting me through this.
Shit like that is why I call her here what I do. It’s a play on her IRL name, but she more than earns it in her management style.
Anyway, I was kinda like, “Well, wasn’t planning on a 10-hour day, but OKAY!”
… and treated myself to Chinese food on my lunch break, since I hadn’t ezzactly packed anything (and the emergency can of Spaghetti-Os in my locker didn’t sound nearly as appealing as celebrating my little epiphany about my own work stuff. And having it dealt with so swiftly!)
I yanked the bifocals off during my lunch break but otherwise forced myself to wear them throughout my (unexpectedly long) shift, so I did my due diligence as far as getting used to them.
But it felt even better taking those off when I got home than the damn thong I’d been in for all that time.
Closing went exactly as I’d both hoped & expected: fast, efficient. They’re not silent monks - there’s definitely some fucking around - but all the joking is done while doing shit which is all my little heart wanted.
Plus, the guys all (other than Car(e)less Co-worker) know their stuff so well, I feel like the weakest link, which motivates me to try so hard to do my best or even better.
(Can’t have da boyz thinking, “Aw, no, a girl!” Gotta represent for the female side, amirite?)
With some of the others, though, when I feel like I’m propping them up, I’ll admit, I’ll let tiny mistakes of mine slide (“Ah, fuck it. I’m doing better than everyone else anyway!”) which is a terrible mindset to have.
All that to say, an unexpected Long Night was still a good and non-exhausting shift. Means a lot to me.
Oh, they got a helluva good laugh at my expense on one thing, though: one of them was cleaning a fryer, and he does it differently. When I was curious and he walked me through his method, he wrapped up his brief lecture with, “Yup. Quick and easy.”
Without really thinking, I answered quite genuinely, “I’m a big fan of quick and easy.”
The other guy caught my eye, I realized what I’d just said, stammered out something like, “Can I get a do-over?” and they both just lost it.
Come to the dark side … oh wait. You’re already here.
This would totally work with me.
Plus, I’d forget the damn things were in there (until the next time I made a hard turn too fast - “WTF is sliding around back there?”) which would probably help the plan.
Alright, time to polish off the last of my celebratory Mongolian beef and tuck into bed.
Yessir!!
