Decades ago, when online dating was still pretty new, I once met someone for coffee…and he gave me a clock. One of those generic plastic clocks from Target that you might put in a bathroom. My profile had mentioned that I like wolves, and he’d replaced the face with a sloppily-made insert — like, cutouts from a magazine or something — that had wolves on it. He told me his hobby was personalizing clocks for people. A “gift” right off the bat, before knowing me at all*, was a bad start/red flag; on top of which, he was super awkward and conversation was painful. I never leave such initial meetings without making it clear whether I’m interested in getting together again, and I’m always very tactful and kind when it’s a no, but the guy thought we’d really hit it off (!) and he actually started to cry. After maybe an hour of barely talking with each other.
To this day, that’s the worst initial online dating meeting I’ve ever had.
SpongeBob onesie guy definitely puts crying clock guy to shame!
*I’ve never been a “let’s email/talk for a while before meeting” person: I always suggest meeting pretty much right away, because there must be chemistry. So whenever I initially meet someone in person, like crying clock guy, all we really know about each other is what’s in our profiles.
She seems to be doing alright today (so far); I think/am hoping her “schedule” just got a little off yesterday. Thank you for asking!
I should clarify: a bad start/red flag for me. Someone else could easily feel differently, and wouldn’t be wrong. But for me, such a thing is indicative of a fundamental incompatibility in the way we approach other people.
I survived the bridal shower. I looked cute in my purple dress. Some people were happy to see me. As predicted, it was fancy as hell, typical Weasel family event. Beautiful butterfly theme inside a glass atrium. I was seated with some people I sorta know and a couple strangers, but I ended up striking up a fairly good conversation with my cousin’s wife’s mother, who has been a nanny for twenty years and has been working with an autistic child for a long time, so I was able to talk to her as someone who knows.
Her daughter, who is married to the Weasel cousin most like my husband, is in medical school. Daughter’s cousin was recently killed during a local mass shooting. I asked daughter how she was doing, and she said, “Not well.” And she was kind of funny about it, telling a story about how one of the doctors asked her how she was doing and she was like, “Fine.” And then she went back and said, “Actually, you know what? I’m not fine. I’m just surviving.” And I really respect the hell out of that. Women in particular are always so pressured to be happy and agreeable, and she was like, no, I’m struggling actually. Good for her. I’ve always liked her.
One of my cousins was going on and on about how healthy her kids eat. They don’t even know what to do with a cupcake when they see it because they never eat junk food and they keep saying they’re growing big and strong because they eat their vegetables. I kept my mouth shut for most of it, but when she brought it up again, I talked about my son’s eating disorder. It’s hard not to feel defensive in a situation like that. One of the easiest things to judge a parent for is how their kids eat. Well, we can’t all have kids who eat perfectly balanced diets. She wasn’t mean about it or anything, I just felt insecure. My kid not only refuses to eat most things, he becomes actively distressed if you eat something near him. Or if you change your own diet just the slightest bit. He did not like when I switched my own breakfast from Kodiak chocolate protein waffles to Kodiak blueberry protein waffles. He has been nagging me about it for the last week. It’s a whole thing.
So I made it through, I had some champagne and some red wine, the food was delicious as always, we dressed one of my cousins in a toilet paper wedding dress. I’m glad I went only because I know it meant something to the Weasel family that I was there. I think for some of them it’s especially meaningful because they know I’m introverted and have social anxiety. The people who know that about me do not take it lightly when I show up. So in that respect I think it’s the highest compliment I could give them. I am grateful for Weasel cousins though I am so unlike them.
Oh yeah, and I made it home with two decadent cupcakes that are more frosting than cake. No complaints there.
A mere three hours until digital Sabbath. I’m trying to get it all out of my system now before I go dark. I’ve decided to go whole hog - I won’t even read my Kindle. I have some paper books if I get desperate. What’s the worst that could happen?
I can really see how that would be so meaningful. I have some good friends but I really feel I lack community. I used to have that with my writers group, but the pandemic broke us, and I don’t think we’re going back.
I like learning stuff! I like feeling like I’m good at stuff.
The way I like to put it is, “I like to do hard things.” And everything’s hard when you first start out. But that process of hitting a steep learning curve and learning to manage and eventual mastery is deeply satisfying.
Thanks for the birthday wishes. I’m going to the tailgate and associated hockey game for a present. It is current;y 73 degrees out(ferret height, not centipede)
Also, sending a strongly worded email is usually less satisfying than sending a 2000lbs. Paveway…
she says, as she shove the 798th pizza of the day into the oven.
: crosses fingers :
Dunno, I’d be more intrigued if a blind date showed up in a Spongebob onesie.
I mentioned I don’t feel like making jambalaya this year. I’d planned on making pulled pork. Mrs. L.A. suggested I make shrimp and grits for Mardi Gras. I told her she can thaw the shrimp while I’m driving home (Tuesday being my commuting day). She said she didn’t want me to cook after driving for three hours. She said, ‘You can make it tonight…’ So I’ll make shrimp and grits tonight. I’ll undoubtedly have to get up in the middle of the night to urinate, so I can put the roast in the oven and we can have that for dinner tomorrow with plenty of leftovers for Tuesday.
I need to go down to the corner market to get some scallions and a lemon, and shred some cheddar.
Happy birthday, dogbutler! I’ll have some cake in your honor today.
That would do it, all right! Thrift is good, but once you have an actual hole in your shoe, you can buy a new pair completely secure in the knowledge you’ve used the old ones completely. Back in the day when I wasn’t a lazy lump, I was doing six aerobics classes a week. Because I was wearing my exercise shoes exclusively indoors, they still looked great even after they’d lost their spring, and I always felt guilty about replacing them. You all are an inspiration.
I used to love doing jigsaw puzzles, but between dedicating our dining table to Mr. L’s work and knowing that the cats would want to play as well, I haven’t done one for years. Maybe once he retires all the way, we can come up with a puzzle board with a cover.
The uncertainty about when a loved one might get released was one of the toughest things for me. I hope it’s not long now for him.
That is the one saving grace of showers of all types. Even the most bare-bones showers I’ve gone to have had a variety of finger foods - and cake!
Speaking of inspiration, wow! I went and cleaned my downstairs bathroom in honor of both of you.
A friend of ours is going through much the same process. They’re determined to have an amicable divorce, but she’s the organized one, and she’s not looking forward to having to get the cooperation of her soon-to-be-ex on the tax return.
I have problems with a lot of CFLs, but I haven’t noticed it with LEDs yet. It is a little bit of comfort that we’re not the only ones.
It snowed here this morning, and not just a little. It looked like about 2 or 3 inches, but since it’s now almost 40F and sunny, I’ll be able to go see how much actual water we got. Roxy is very grumpy about it, because I took her out on her leash as usual to show her what it was like.
Our new maintenance guy has gone through the building replacing the CFLs, which I hate, with LEDs (and upped the lumens). The problem is that he has chosen a very cold color for the bulbs, which makes them glare excessively. I really don’t like them.
Howdy Y’all! Not much to report from swampland. I did have to decide whether or not I wanted to lie on the sofa or lay back in the recliner earlier today. The recliner won out as it’s the better option to read. The other major decision was between grilled ham 'n cheese or toasted ham ‘n cheese. Toasted won out cause I decided I wanted crunchy bread. Then I had to decide between Pringle’s and regular N.O.T. chips. Then I needed a nap. All that decision makin’ took its toll.
I did the drive up the lake to drop off stuff at the gift store. In good news, that dude will soon become the president of the museum’s board, so I’ve got an in there. We spent like an hour talking about political and religious stuff. Kinda strange, but we agree on most all of it. Agree that in 10 years we’ll all look back on the 4 letter curse of our current times much the way we look back on HUAC.
Unfortunately he won’t be taking over until April, so I’ve got a bit of a wait until I maybe building stuff for them.
coppertone NOT= not our taters.
nettie Grilled is stove top, toasted is, well, toaster oven? Crunchy either way. I dunno if’m swampy does his sammies differnt.
Washed the car today (finally). We have a wash station in the underground garage, which is very handy. Helped the wife with cleaning out and organizing the pantry. Tossed out a lot of old spices, stale nuts, etc. It’s a small pantry and poorly lit, so it’s a pain to find things if they’re not at least somewhat organized. It also results in buying duplicate items because I can’t find what I’m looking for, then ending up with two (or more).
We’re probably the only people in the Midwest who don’t watch football, and I doubt we’ll tune in to the gruntfest tomorrow.
FCD got here a bit after 4. I gave Daughter the keys to my car, turned her kids over to her, and went to MIL’s apartment. We hauled all her stuff up, showed her what we’d done in her absence (I thought she was going to cry!!) then headed out. We swung by Daughter’s place where I got my car, and now I’m home. FCD just got out of the shower. Major chillage on tonight’s agenda.
It would be for me too. I had one guy who brought me a dream catcher for our first (and last) date, despite never having said anything about an interest in such things.
I’m glad that Bailey is feeling better oopsie.
Penny was gone by noon, I got my list done and now have a lap puppy cuddling. I think that Nelson liked having a playmate for a while, but likes having me to himself too. Brat!
My goodness, you people write! Soccer was coached, then went to the gym for a bit, then off to the Metro Diner for Sunday Dinner on a Saturday. Rainy outside all day and looks like ti will remain that way most of the night, so definitely indoors and slothing for the balance of the evening.
red, glad the dog-sitting went so well.
Spicy, made it through trig and solid geometry in High School, managed to avoid calculus. Glad you made it through the Bridal Shower; sounds like you fit in just fine.
Oopsie, hope the volunteer work goes well.
nellie, you and the puppehs; you should set up a regular dog-sitting service and at least collect a few dollars for it. Keep on truckin’.
Pilot, I was an inept (albeit properly dressed) dater. Took two different women to see a movie…one was “Seven” and the other was “Schindler’s List”. Yep, another born romantic, that’s me…
rocky, conga-rats on the new telly.
shoe, a most interesting (and heartfelt) story. Thanks for sharing it. And double thanks for the fireworks.
You can hope, but mosquitos, like roaches, are virtually indestructible. Still, hopefully fewer than normal.
FCM, glad FCD and the rest are home and hopefully settled.
Whew. Raining outside again, so any mail that showed up after 5:30pm will just have to wait for tomorrow. Have a good evening/morning all.
?) to you too!
