Okay. I just took a job as Director of Environment/Housekeeping at a nursing home. Apparently, my release to the world was none too short, because my virility, good looks, and charm were sorely needed/lusted/desired.
Day 1:
-Old lady looks at me, says I have a nice tie. I say thank you.
Day 2:
-Nurse’s aide chastizes me for not having a completely starched and pressed shirt.
-A Chaldean woman, who speaks NO English at all, decides to latch onto me and walks around with me, speaking/singing Arabic to me for about a half hour to 45 minutes at a time.
Day 3:
-(same) Nurse’s aide chastizes me for not having a completely starched and pressed shirt. (again)
-MILF I work with says I have nice shoes.
-Another old lady says I have nice hair.
-Chaldean woman pounces me on sight and latches onto me and we have deep conversations. She says…something…I talk about the Tigers.
Day 5:
-(same) Nurse’s aide chastizes me for not having a completely starched and pressed shirt. (again again) This time, she asks if I have a girlfriend and nods knowingly, then walks away.
-Old woman walks up to me, says “I love you”, grabs my face, and kisses my cheek.
-Chaldean woman continues her latching and talking. (At this point, the MILF tries to get the Chaldean woman to latch onto me if she has not already done so if I happen to be roaming the halls.)
Day 6:
-Woman tells me I dress “sharp” and that she likes what I wear.
-Chaldean woman continues with treatment.
Present day:
-(same) Nurse’s aide chastizes me for not having a completely starched and pressed shirt.
-Same woman says I dress nice from 6th day.
-While mopping up a little spill in the hallway and speaking with a nurse’s aide, an old lady wheels up and starts poking me. I politely ask “What are you doing?” She answers “I’m tickling you”. She keeps poking my sides and my exposed armpit. I tell her I’m not ticklish. After saying this, the absurdity of the situation hits me and I start giggling, which makes her think she’s tickling me, which makes her “tickle” even more. (same) Nurse’s aide rescues me, calling me “her husband” and saying that she can’t take me away from her.
-(same) Nurse’s aide then makes comments the rest of the day about how every ten minutes, we’re scheduled to have an erotic encounter in a bathroom somewhere.
-Nurse says that my presence makes the hallways look “hotter”.
Should I be complaining? What’s the deal? Do I remind all these old people of guys they used to fuck many moons ago?
(p.s. I go to another facility in a week to stand in, then again a week after that to take over. The virus could spread there, as well.)
