Quasi Gets His Come-Uppance

Many of y’all know I work in a hospital as a respiratory therapist which also takes me into the ER as well as ICU as well as normal, every day Med-Surg floor care.

Last weekend I had the rare privilege of taking care of an 86 year old lady in the ER who wasted no time informing me that…“Young man (I’m 54), I have seen pretty men, and I have seen ugly men, but you are by far the ugliest I have ever seen!”

I did her EKG (her glaring at me all the while) and got the hell out of there, but later the ER doc ordered her to have a respiratory treatment which I also had to administer,

Up till then, I had been willing to attribute her previous comment to senile dementia, but this time she called me by name (we are required to wear name badges), and asked me details about her previous EKG and when she might know the results.

I went home that next morning thinking about my program of self-improvement, (weight loss, exercise, mental health) and decided that if an 86 year old woman thinks you’re the ugliest man on the planet, then that is pretty conclusive evidence that one might could scare the dots off a pair of dice, right?



Well that’s about the rudest thing I’ve ever heard. Senior citizen or not, she behaved in a horrid fashion. Maybe next time you can stand on her air hose for a bit. Just enough to make her relive her childhood, but not quite enough for the whole enchilada, if you get my drift.

There is the possibility of some dementia there. But, heck, she’s 86 years old. I figure past 80 you’ve earned the right to say whatever the hell you want. Quasi good for you for just being able to blow it off.

Does the hospital periodically send you up to the cardiac ward when they need to clear out a few beds?

The ugliest? Man, that’s cold … still, I guess that does mean you can now go around saying “I’m #1! I’m #1!!” :smiley:

Hey, was her first name Hawkeye? If not, at 86 years old you can rest assured her eyesight is pretty far from 20-20, no?

Yeah, but there are a lot of senile conditions that are tough to figure out. In the early stages of her illness, my granny could be lucid and reading the newspaper in the morning, and then later that same day be a raving grouch who was swearing her head off.

At the age of 93, she was taken to the hospital (minor bladder infection, as it turned out) and she spent the entire time screaming “F**K YOOOOUUUUUUUU!” at the top of her lungs. Luckily, the nurses all seemed to think this was absolutely hysterical coming from a toothless, 93-yr-old who was all of 4’10".

The last time I visted her when she was “reasonably lucid” she was very sweet, calm and coherent, for all of 10 minutes, then yelled at me: “WHORE!” and spent the next half-hour muttering “Whore… whore… whore… whore… whore… whore…” Lucidity – gone!

She suffered from a rather unusual neurological condition that sometimes had symptoms that were a cross between Alzheimers and Tourettes.

Quasi’s grumpy old bitty may have had something that messed with her impulse control too. Perhaps, normally she would be entirely too polite to tell Quasi that the mere sight of him makes children cry. :stuck_out_tongue:

Maybe I should pop on over and let her get a look at my ugly mug.

We could have a contest or something.

As a slightly different take on this, have you thought how you might have felt if she said you were hot? :wink:

I absolutely LOVE you little shits! :smiley: :smiley: :smiley:

What some folks don’t know (and now Y’all do!) is that for many years I have had a problem with low self-esteem.

Yay Me! :smiley:

The fact that I could let this lady tell me that and not bat an eye must mean I’m getting better! Alzheimer’s? I don’t know, but she’s got some large money here in Paulding County and I bet she’s been allowed to speak her mind for many years. Hell, she might even have been kind to me by what she said!

Yay Me! :smiley:

(Of course, if my pals Archergal or torie were to tell me that, I might go runnin’ for the nearest single-edge razor blade vendor! :))

Elsewhere, someone asked in a thread what SDMB means to one. Y’all are what it means to me.

Ich fühle mich sehr willkommen und aufgehoben bei Euch. Danke sehr!


According to Babelfish: “I feel very welcome and waived with you. Thanks very much.”

Well, I feel waived with you, too, dear!

Quasi, I’ve seen pictures of you. You really are not bad looking at all. You remind me a lot of my uncle (Starving Artist), who, while not the best looking guy in town, certainly doesn’t send little kids screaming in terror. You are much too hard on yourself, dear.

Well, I was going for the word “up-lifted”. I feel welcome and uplifted (with Y’all) and thank you very much!

I also feel very warm in having a thread of mine contributed to by Eve. I have been an admirer of yours for a very long time, and even though you and I differ on many things, I do respect you and your wisdom and wit.

We no longer have to “waive” each other’s posts, okay?


Quasi, take it from me. I met you, talked to you , and looked at you for an extended period of time. You are far from ugly.
After all, how can you be ugly when you look like William Shatner? :smiley:

(HE DID! In this one photo! I swear HE DID!)

Much better than what I got: *“I feel very welcome and **canceled ** with you. Would thank very!” * :stuck_out_tongue:
Hooray to you for dealing with the old prune so well!
I would’ve been under the nearest bed for the rest of the day, but then again, I can’t control my emotions.
I would’ve had to gone with Kalhoun’s advice, except I really am harmless. :wink:

The Captain? Rrrwowwrrrr! :smiley:

Yay, Quasi! For whatever it’s worth to you, I’m proud of you for handling this so well! I think grumpy old people are fairly adorable, myself, though THAT was a bit on the extreme side.

I’ve never seen you, but reading past posts, I know you are a beautiful person. Beauty originates from within.
The old woman may have been frightened, attacking the first person she encountered that might do something painful.
You acted in a very professional manner. Forgive the old gal, forget the slur. We’ll all be old and afraid someday, we can only hope to have a caregiver like you when that day arrives. :slight_smile:

I appreciate it, y’all.

In the job I do, we’re trained in dealing with “A-Holes” and “A-holistic (is that a word???) behavior”, but that coming from what I perceived as a sweet kindly elderly person just broadsided me.

But to close things out and put it all into perspective, I will invoke an old movie cliche’. Ready?

Thanks! I needed that!

:smiley: :smiley: :smiley:


Of course you realize, Quasi, that since claims have been made about your appearance (ugly man and/or looking like William Shatner*) we now demand photographic evidence. Do you look like WS way back when? Or like he does now?** :eek:


  • Both concepts are not necessarily mutually exclusive, BTW.

** With or without the toupee? :smiley: