So I wanna start a comic strip about the Olsen twins based on the Wonder Twins from the old Justice League cartoon. Only instead of having rings to activate their powers, they’ll both have half of the proverbial ugly stick, which they will touch together to change forms. And they won’t have a pet monkey, 'cause then there’d be too much sexual tension.
Anyway, what should they transform into? The original Wonder Twins changed into something water-based and some purple animal, IIRC. The Olsen twins should have similarly mundane powers, but I can’t think of anything really good. I thought maybe one of them could spit out phereomones at people just so they (the twins)could appear attractive, but I don’t know. Also, I think they should be killed at the end of each adventure.
Any ideas?
Oh, and also: who should their enemies be? The kids from South Park? Christina Aguilera? Marilyn Manson? The Teletubbies?
Their archnemeses should be Dignity and Good Taste, but that’d be too much like real life.
As for their transformative powers, how about Mary-Kate turning into some form of beauty product of death, and Ashley using that BPOD against their enemies.
Robin
“Olsen Twin powers, activate! Form of … Beer! Shape of … a Keg!!”
Sua
I like it, Ms Robyn.
Another thing that could be equally foul yet open ended enough to do a comic book would be if one of them could take on smells.
Olsen Twin powers activate! Shape of Miss Clairol! Smell of manure! Wow, that pretty much sums up their acting talent. 
HUGS!
Sqrl
Yeah, we’ll see how hard you’re laughing in a few years when they start their soft-core porn careers. Monkey-Girl Pizza Delivery parts I, II, and III.
You also couldn’t have a monkey side-kick, not because of the sexual tension, but because it would be too hard to tell them apart in a comic book format. Maybe with wild, color coded manga hair.
-Rue.
I think Bob Dole should be their arch-nemesis. Partly because he’s their antithesis and partly because he’s cool.
And I think they shouldn’t have any superpowers, but rather think they do.
BWAHAHAHA! Dignity and good taste! I love it! Unfortunately, these will be the archnemeses of the actual comic. I love the BPOD thing, though. Also the idea that they only think they have superpowers.
In fact, I think I’ll use all your guys’ ideas. Now gimme some more.
http://www.retrocrush.com/kate/default.htm
And people say the Internet does not have handy little items like this
One of them could have the power to turn into animals, but only the animals you’d compare someone to if you wanted to insult them (i.e. dog, cow, pig, gorilla, etc.). I can’t think of anything funny for the other one yet.
Ooh, ooh, can I help you write it puleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaase?
Some ideas:
“Shape of Lip Gloss! Form of The Ugly Stick!”
“Shape of Teen People! Form of Old Navy Capri Pants!”
Possible plots:
** Using Jennifer Love Hewitt and The Noxema Girl as human shields to help them infiltrate the Backstreet Boys secret hangout.
** The Olsen Twins attempt to launch a singing career. Their single, played over the sound system at shopping malls across America, is singlehandedly responsible for declining GDP as shoppers flee in droves holding their hands over bleeding ears. The resulting rock-and-roll Renaissance rescues America from bubblegum pop hell.
** Back at the Hall of Washed-Up Child Stars, Gary Coleman presides over a Thunderdome-style death match between the Twins and the cast of Seventh Heaven.
Perhaps when they speak at the same time, there could be a deafening screeching noise that drives everyone bonkers. They could give off a shrill squall in a cloud of glitter that makes their enemy (as well as innoncent passers-by) want to rip out their hair. You know, that could maybe happen when either twin speaks, ever.
To quote Kid Rock on a recent SNL: “If there’s grass on the field, play ball!”
Funny! Sick, but funny, nonetheless.
I hate to brake it to you, but they already have a singing career. Their songs include “Ice Cream Crazy,” “Stayin’ Cool” and many more unbarable tunes that I was forced to listen to when I was a nanny. Good Gods, I think my twitch is back!
Hey magdalene, of course you can help me write it. The more the merrier. I think I’m gonna have to do it using Photoshop, 'cause I can’t really draw that well, so it’ll probably be a cut-and-paste kinda thing. It will probably take a while to get it going, due to my hectic work schedule and general slackerhood. But I’ll let you know.
Thanks for all the ideas so far, guys. However, you’ll all have to sign a waiver absolving me of all crimes of intellectual property theft.
katiekilldare, how would that scenario be any different from actual reality? (Except for the glitter part, that is)
um…hmm…how do I say this without getting booed off the stage? Crap, there’s really no way.
OK, I’ll just come out with it: I don’t mind Mary-Kate and Ashley.
Oh sure, they’ve sold their souls to the Devil for a direct to video career. And their songs probably suck harder than New Kids on the Block multiplied by N*Backsync boys. And yes “you got it dude!” was about the lowest an already bad TV show could go.
So why don’t I mind them? Because, as actors they’re, well, really not too bad. Ever watch them on “Two of a kind”? I’d never heard of this show until this weekend when my sister grabbed the remote and I was too bored to even care what she flipped to. So I watched this thing for half an hour and I came to the conclusion that, after 14 years in the acting business, they seemed to have learned a thing or two about acting. They were good! The show was awful, but they were good!
So that’s all I’ve got to say. Carry on.
[sub]Me, too[/sub]
I will say that the Mary Kate and Ashley Magazine is the only mag for pre-teens that isn’t all about sex. La Principessa, at age 11, is too old for American Girl’s paper dolls and not, thank God, old enough for Seventeen’s articles on venereal diseases. So the Olsen Twin magazine fits very nicely in there.
However…
It was my great privilege to make the acquaintance, yesterday, at Target, of the Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen Twin Fashion Dolls.
- violent fit of coughing *
Eep.
http://www.kbkids.com/w/l/snb.html?txt=Olsen&formInfo=T|txt|0|50&formMap=
I’ve long had the theory that, a few years from now, the Olsen twins will tire of their ‘child-star’ and ‘goodie two shoes’ image and try to break out of that mold by appearing in Playboy. Whenever I tell any of my friends about this theory, they make faces and say “eew,” but just wait. You’ll see. They’ll be there. And you’ll like it. Mark my words.
Anyway, I took a look at that site, Heath Doolin. Good to know I’m not alone in my beliefs.
EXCUSE ME, but I know I’m not watching this devolve into an Olsen twins appreciation thread, right? RIGHT??
Ender, they’re not bad actors, you say? Well, I would hope that if I’d been working in the same profession since I was a freakin’ infant that I’d at least be competent. I give them no credit, it’s all Pavlovian conditioning - you flub a line, you don’t get your banana. Now can we please get back on track? I swear to Christ, I’ll turn this car right around…