You been smoking?
I wish.
The smileys have not been messed up. They have been improved. This was a good move on Jerrys’ part.
See? [Old Roll Eyes]
I like the ambiguity of the new rolleyes smiley.
:rolleyes:
Emoji rolleyes. Copy and paste for your enjoyment.
(EDIT: … and it doesn’t work if you’re editing a post.)
Let’s try this.
He looks kinda pissed, as if he’s a retail clerk watching some grubby kid put fingerprints all over the display case. He knows it’s his job to clean anyway, and knows that there’s nothing he can really do about it, but he’s still pretty disgruntled. So he stands there dealing with a somewhat vulgar and fairly rude mother (he can tell where the inconsiderateness comes from) while watching the little shit out of the corner of his eye.
But his shift ends soon, and he’s going to go home to his cat and a few hours on the Dope, where he’ll have forgotten all about the punk-assed kid, but will nonetheless be unnecessarily cantankerous and pugnacious. This will result in an unwarranted acerbic comment outside the Pit, which, in turn, will result in a warning.
It’s his first and only warning, and though it doesn’t threaten his posting privileges it nonetheless rancours him—so much so that he improperly uses a noun as a verb when talking to his grammar-Nazi district manager, who ends up turning him down for a promotion.
Now seething, he leaves his shift fifteen minutes early, closing the door just five minutes before the love of his live would have walked through. She stands there, begrudgingly staring at the prematurely-locked door. 
Epilogue:
Fortunately, he had already met the love of his life several years ago; they’re now married and she had come to his store hoping to surprise him with great news. She had received a call earlier that day from their bank; they’re small-business loan application was finally approved, and they were about to give up retailing and waitressing to open a small winery and pottery studio. Yes, they’d arguably still be in the retail and service business, but the comparison falls flat under the momentous joy of doing what they love.
They lived happily ever after, until someone updated their favourite website and changed all the smilies.
We need a TLDR smiley.
Had you had access to the old rolleyes, you’d have had the right smiley for the job.
(I’m going to go eat some haddock)
What do you take for a haddock?
Sometimes I take aspirin, sometimes I take calomel.
I’d walk a mile for a calomel.
Thanks for the answer Tuba, even if it’s a complete runaround. I did say that any answer would be better than none. And it is, in a way.
This seems to be the trend: I’m seeing more and more, in other threads throughout this board, that people are simply boycotting some of the new smilies, and instead using constructions like:
=)
[noparse]:rolleyes:[/noparse]
//rolleyes//
[Old Roll Eyes]
and so forth.
[old roll eyes]
Yeah, it’s all pretty ridiculous.
I see you remained silent about what you’d do for a Klondike Bar. ::indubiousitable::
(thanks for the smiley suggestion Senegoid—that could work out quite well)
:Þ
that’s : <alt>numpad 0222 for those who want it.
You know, with a bit of creativity we could develop our own culture of simple emoticons (non graphic) for use on these boards. We could say what we meant. Mean what we say. be understood by all the regulars. And never have to bother Jerry at upgrade time.
We could ever resurrect :happy orthodox jewish guy:
:rolleyes:
Isn’t that redundant?
I wouldn’t call Levy Hicksville, for example.
Hell on Earth, perhaps.
=)