I beat you by about 13 years. 
Signed,
Atamasama
You never use “san” or the other Japanese honorifics about yourself. In that sense at least they are different from the ones we are used to in English.
Yes, true, though it’s unusual to call yourself “sir” or “Mrs.”, generally.
But true that it’s not the same. In English it would be weird. In Japanese it would be shameful.
I use the “sama” honorific in my username for 3 reasons. The first is that “Atama” was not available when I signed up. (There is a person who joined in 2000 with that username, though they’ve never posted.) The second is that it’s alliterative. The third is that it’s meant to be self-mocking.
And I guess there’s a 4th reason; I’m not Japanese and don’t live in Japan so I don’t really care.
The wikipedia page on Japanese honorifics does mention that these honorifics can sometimes be used in the first-person, when used sarcastically or ironically.
So we should refer to you as Atamasama-san?
If you want, or Atamasalami, whatever floats your boat.
How about Atamapepperoni?
“Atamadurian” has a nice sound to it.
Now you go too far!!! 
That stinks.
Hey, the durian is what you call an ideal dichotomy. With its solid, spiky exterior and unquestionable presence, it is emblematic of great strength, yet once you get into it, AAUI, you find that it is composed of delightful creamy goodness. What is wrong with that?
The stench.
“We eviscerated Atamasama and it turns out that he’s delicious! Despite the odor.” 
From the history we have of them, It wouldn’t surprise me if they showed up drunk for the premiere.
I think Tommy may have aged out of that business. Did he ever even catch the regular humans he was after?
This went right over my head.
I always figured I’d just use " Hey you! The one wearing the weird helmet thing." Unless we were at a Star Wars convention, that would complicate things.
It’s a kabuto. (That is not just the name of a pokemon.)
I would probably be wearing my Imperial Officer hat in that situation. (I picked it up at a Disney World hotel gift shop on my honeymoon a decade ago, it looks just like the ones in the original films.)
He was already on law enforcement’s radar when
this guy blew up his garage
From the article:
Neighbors thought he was a “bit out there,” with numerous police scanners in the house, barbed wire lining his fence and a penchant for explosives. … -
“A bit out there…”? What do they consider batshit insane?
well, we know you want to be Atamageoduck – which also has nice rhythm to it.
Consider the neighborhood probably harbors all sorts of batshit crazies.
Geoducks are horrifying and delicious. As a Seattle area native I am quite familiar with them.
I like that one. 