Omnibus Stupid MFers in the news thread (Part 2)

Dang, I just learned from that article that Tito died. :frowning:

The depraved Dopers who participate in or follow the Celebrity Death Pool heard about that weeks ago (I think it was weeks, I have gotten so old that time has come to confound me).

Reminds me of the old joke about the docent at the natural history museum who told people that the tyrannosaurus skeleton on display lived 65,000,005 years ago. When questioned by a museum staffer about that, he said “Well, when I started here 5 years ago I was told it was 65 million years old.”

Ba dumm, dump! I’ll be here all week; try the veal.

It is worse than that. When I was younger the KT event was 65 million years ago, now it is 66 mya.

Man, you old!

Trilobites have been around for over a half billion years, 65 million sounds like a long nap in comparison.

In Yakima, WA, the county coroner (which in WA is an elected office) was recently hospitalized with a drug overdose, and accused his coworker who ran against him in 2022 of poisoning his drink with fentanyl.

It turns out he’d been using drugs he found on dead bodies that were sent to his office for autopsy to “see what it felt like”.

That sounds like some weird vampire fanfic about a guy who preys on junkies to get high off the drugs in their blood.

  • Spike: I was actually at Woodstock. That was a weird gig. I fed off a flower person, and I spent the next six hours watchin’ my hand move.

I’m reminded of the Tales From The Crypt episode about a pacifist vampire who works at a blood bank to get his fix, and when supplies are low he starts attacking petty criminals and draining them to replenish the blood he’s stolen - but since he has a conscience, he puts them through a medical questionaire about whether they use drugs or have had any recent operations before he exsanguinates them.

There’s a Spider Robinson story (I think in Time Travellers Strictly Cash) where the guy who hangs out in the saloon never drinking anything alcoholic and being the designated driver who gets everyone home safely turns out to be a vampire who filters alcohol from the people he drives home so that they never get hangovers.

And saves someomr from an alcohol overdose too (Pyotr was his his name)

That’s the one where Jake breaks Lady Macbeths neck.

Robinson autographed that paperback for me. One of the stories, True Minds, I told him was one of my two favorite short stories ever. And I think he was pleased that the other story. by Heinlein, was the other. That was The Man Who Traveled in Elephants.

How many dead bodies with drugs on them are coming into the coroner’s office that this guy can do drugs three times a day for several months?!

It’s Yakima. It’s a depressing sour old used-to-be of a town where the majority of the population are itinerant Latino farm laborers and Walmart is the single largest private employer. That part doesn’t really surprise me.

(There is a rather nice BBQ/burger drive-up/walk-up shack on the main drag, called the Lariat, which I recommend if you ever find yourself in the area.)

Check out Terry Southern’s ‘Blood of a Wig’ for the story of a Chinese poet’s blood being supplied one syringe at a time to people who want to experience the poet’s schizophrenia. The story is in Southern’s short story collection ‘Red Dirt Marijuana’.

Dan

Not big enough to be interesting, while not small enough to be interesting.

I that like Florida? It’s a terrible place to visit, but you wouldn’t want to live there.