Yeah, I don’t get it. Why use the word “ass”, if you’re just going to censor it? It’s not like there aren’t plenty of other words that could be used instead. And why does “horny” even need to be censored at all?
@#$&*#s like you just wouldn’t understand. 
Sometimes the dimmest bulbs give off their brightest sparks just before they burn out.
My “Unicorns Playing Brass Instruments While Rhinoceros-Riding” magazine is not available on the web anymore, due to exceeding the limit of asterisks in the latest issue…
Mary had a pair of skates
On the ice she likes to frisk
What a silly girl she is
Her little *
I have never seen that before, but it made me guffaw.
I remember seeing this in Reader’s Digest when I was a little girl! I took it to my mom and asked her to explain it to me.
It will have to be explained to me now. Brisk, list, mist, risk, whisk… 
Asterisk = ass to risk.
Thank you. I thought the asterisk was a replacement for a naughty word I couldn’t think of, rather than the word itself.
You’re not alone.
“Her little star”
“Her little multiplier”
Especially when in that same paragraph they offer “butt-chuggers”, which might not have quite the same gravitas as “horny”, I guess.
Those reptiles-in-pants stories got me (unsuccessfully) searching for Micheal Palin’s SNL hosting intro where he sings “The White Cliffs of Dover” while getting two (yes, live) cats stuffed down his pants. Hope he was wearing a cup.
If you only knew how much work his handlers had to do to get him to say colored.
Guy kills his wife street racing
It’s amazing to us how many supposedly grown up people with careers, kids, spouses, and other responsibilities go street racing like irresponsible teenagers. We keep seeing news stories like that, but few are as heartbreaking as this one out of New Jersey where a man street racing crashed, killing his wife.
The other racer also crashed, injuring 3 passengers in his vehicle.
I’m glad that awful judge is no longer in charge of the case, but this is infuriating:
Krause said that she found nothing improper about Glanville’s meeting, but said she still ordered Glanville to be recused in order to preserve public trust.
Nothing improper?!
Then further on:
Last week, Steel filed a motion with over 200 pages of exhibits calling for Krause to recuse herself from deciding if Glanville should be removed from overseeing the trial, and reiterating the request for Glanville to be recused. The motion suggested that Krause could not be objective in her ruling and cited a $2,000 contribution from Glanville to Krause’s reelection campaign in April 2024.
Yeah, that fucking tracks. What a shitshow.
The level of corruption going on in that courtroom right now is fucking STUNNING. There’s nothing new under the sun of course, so I’m sure there are other examples out there, but this is a new one on me.
But…the Supremes said bribery is okie-dokie!
Jack Black is breaking up Tenacious D because Kyle Gass made an offhand joke about the Trump shooting at a concert the other night.
I didn’t think a guy who built his entire career around this image of him as always being authentic to himself and never selling out would throw his bandmate of 30 years and the man who helped make him famous under the bus so quickly.
Meanwhile, the “comedy is no fun any more, you’re not allowed to offend anyone or you’ll get cancelled” crowd is awfully silent.