Buzzfeed have done a post called 27 problems only introverts will understand and it generated a bit of discussion with some Facebook friends.
I’m interested to hear what Dopers think about a particular aspect of this, relating to socialising. A friend made the comment about how much they hate being told ‘you are so quiet’ and whilst I sympathise, I have a slightly different take on it, which I’ll cross-post from Facebook because, well, laziness:
On the dreaded ‘why are you so quiet’ question…
As someone who is fairly middling on the introvert/extrovert scale (slightly more introverted than extroverted), I can see both sides of this.
I have heard the argument from very introverted people that they are perfectly happy being silent in a social setting, so people should just stop bugging/judging them.
But when you are in a social setting, I think there is a bit of a social contract that everyone contributes to creating a pleasant social experience for everyone. That means doing a bit of talking/sharing (not too much) and doing a lot of listening.
I know introverts hate the ‘why are you so quiet’ question (and I hate it myself), but I think the underlying message is, ‘Hey, why aren’t you contributing to making this a pleasant social experience for everyone?’ And I can see some validity to that query.
Nowadays when I am with others, I try to both ‘have a good time’ and ‘contribute to others having a good time’. That mindset has helped me a lot.
I’d be interested to know whether you agree/disagree with my thinking, and it might be useful to know if you identify as introvert/extrovert/something else.