On the stubborn insistence that fictional romances should have real-world significance

Inspired by this article.

It’s been over a decade since The Office ended. Cast member John Krasinski has been married to Emily Blunt for thirteen years. The relationship between John’s character Jim and Pam, the character played by Jenna Fischer, was entirely fictional.

Yet both Fischer and Blunt report fan interactions, continuing to the present day, in which people complain that Blunt is not “Pam” and yell at them that he’s with the wrong woman. Fischer says people “don’t know how” she and John aren’t a real-life couple: “They don’t understand it.”

How is it that anyone can still be this dumb?

I get that some nonzero proportion of this is tongue-in-cheek, the same kind of impulse behind the dumb joke when you see a co-worker temporarily sitting at someone else’s desk and say “you don’t look like X, har har.” I also get that old-fashioned studio marketing from a few decades ago would manufacture stories about romance between co-stars for purposes of movie and talent promotion (and also to distract from and conceal rumors of closeted actors, among other potential scandals), so there’s an appetite for these relationships when they actually happen.

But when it’s not real? When there is ample and long-standing publicity about the two actors being nothing more than friends, that they’ve never been anything but friends, and not only that but the male actor’s wife is also friends with the female actor, and there’s nothing more going on? How willfully ignorant do you have to be to insist that the fictional relationship in the story you watched has any kind of real-world meaning, in the face of concrete evidence to the contrary?

I legitimately don’t understand this mindset. Can anyone explain it?

The whole point of being an actor is to portray a character and to make the audience feel like they know that character. That plays into a very natural part of human psychology to form social relationships. TV series actors probably have it worst; we spend time with them every week for years. We don’t actually know them, but the way we experience them ticks some of the same boxes in our heads as people we do know in real life.

If people were purely rational, our intellect would overcome the psychological cues that make fictional characters seem real. We’re not. Most of us stop well short of the kind of behavior desribed by the OP, but it’s a powerful illusion to feel some familiarity with celebrities where none should exist.

There’s nothing new about it. Back in the '70s, Mariette Hartley and James Garner did a series of commercials for Polaroid cameras. They were so convincing that eventually Hartley had a t-shirt made which said “I am not Mrs. James Garner”.

I saw a Youtube video recently that discussed this phenomenon specifically as it pertains to fans of Korean soap opera. There was a recent program which was about two women falling in love, and the show’s fans got weirdly obsessed with the personal lives of the actors playing the two main characters, to the point that they got upset if they were seen with their male partners, and the actors found themselves being pressured by the studio to pretend that they were a couple in real life so as to meet up to their fans’ expectations.

I suppose it’s sort of like how the Beatles’ management expected John to keep his marriage secret in their boy-band era so the teenyboppers would believe him to be eligible and attainable.

I’m still pissed that Chachi abandoned Joanie.

You think that’s bad? I got into a car accident and was taken home by a nurse who told me that she was my “Number One Fan” and then turned out to be a crazy stalker who broke my ankles and forced me to write a new novel for her.

People are nuts.

Stranger

Watch out for vans when you’re walking at night

Wow, that sounds like misery.

mmm

I saw an interview with Natalie Cole, a long time ago, and she said her very first job in show business was replying to Fred Flintstone’s fan mail. Not fans of the show, but specifically, Fred’s personal mail. People mostly got form letters, but she either signed them, or stamped a sig on them, I forget which, and she made sure people who asked for signed photos got them.

The weird thing was, Fred’s mail tended to come from adults, and he got a lot of marriage proposals from women. Some of them were obviously either kidding or had lost a bet, but some of them seemed very serious, and if they were meant to be jokes, they were too good.

Part of her job was to flag the mail that was alarmingly weird.

Also, when I was in jr. high, and subscribed to a magazine where such an interview was par for the course, there was an interview with Pam Dawber, as Mork & Mindy was a hit show at the time. She commented that a lot of people she met thought she really lived with Robin Williams, and she even occasionally met people who really thought he was an alien.

Not being able to separate fantasy from reality happens with a lot of mental illnesses, including ones where the person can otherwise come across as fairly normal, and it is also a feature of autism. Seeing it in someone who is living entirely independently-- working, paying bills, keeping clean, keeping appointments, even maintaining a safe driving record-- is not the usual course, but is does happen.

And, you have the phenomenon in research, the name of which escapes me, because I keep wanting to say “observer bias,” but it’s not that-- it the one where you remember all the examples that conform to a thesis, or stand out in some way, and forget the ones that do not. In other words, how many people does a famous couple pass in a day who do NOT shout out some comment about their couplehood being “wrong”? If you could measure that, the ones who do end up being a small percentage.

I think you’re looking for “confirmation bias”

Yes! thanks-- driving me crazy!

Leonard Nimoy’s first autobiography was titled I am NOT Spock dealing with people confusing him with his famous character.

His second biography was titled I am Spock to apologize to fans who thought he hated the character and reconciling his own feelings on the issue.

P.S–He did NOT write a third autobiography titled I am also Scotty–that was a Simpsons joke

Reminds me of one of my favorite movie lines, from the early Ron Howard movie Night Shift. Leonard the owner’s useless nephew(?) has been sitting around watching the Flintstones. As he turns off the TV he declaims, “Ah, that Barney Rubble. What an actor.”

I remember seeing an interview with Peter Krause (Nate from Six Feet Under) saying that when he was out jogging people would show concern for his well being seemingly not understanding that his medical condition on the show wasn’t an issue in real life.

In the right hands, it doesn’t have to be dumb:

https://www.baen.com/Chapters/ERBAEN0078/ERBAEN0078.htm

He [Dan Blocker - Hoss of Bonanza] told me–and he said this happened all the time, not just in isolated cases–that he had been approached by a little old woman during one of his personal appearances at a rodeo, and the woman had said to him, dead seriously, “Now listen to me, Hoss: when you go home tonight, I want you to tell your daddy, Ben, to get rid of that Chinee fella who cooks for you all. What you need is to get yourself a good woman in there can cook up some decent food for you and your family.”

So Dan said to her, very politely (because he was one of the most courteous people I’ve ever met), “Excuse me, ma’am, but my name is Dan Blocker. Hoss is just the character I play. When I go home I’ll be going to my house in Los Angeles and my wife and children will be waiting.”

And she went right on, just a bit affronted because she knew all that, what was the matter with him, did he think she was simple or something, "Yes, I know . . . but when you go back to the Ponderosa, you just tell your daddy Ben that I said . . . "

For her, fantasy and reality were one and the same.

They’re not all “historical documents.” I mean, surely you don’t think Gilligan’s Island is a…

I think you’re right. Our brains evolved to perceive the people we see in front of us as real people, and their actions and relationships as real actions and relationships.

Most people can separate fantasy from reality, but if even 1% of people have trouble with it, that’s still a lot of people in absolute numbers.

Also:

Brandon Wheeger: I just wanted to tell you that I thought a lot about what you said.
Jason Nesmith: It’s okay, now listen…
Brandon Wheeger: But I want you to know that I’m not a complete brain case, okay? I understand completely that it’s just a TV show. I know there’s no beryllium sphere…
Jason Nesmith: Hold it.
Brandon Wheeger: no digital conveyor, no ship…
Jason Nesmith: Stop for a second, stop. It’s all real.
Brandon Wheeger: Oh my God, I knew it. I knew it! I knew it!

Stranger

Those poor people…

The Stuff You Should Know podcast recently did an episode on “parasocial relationships” (Wikipedia article), which was especially ironic because they’ve been doing their show so long people have said “relationships” with the hosts.

Although, she did reveal in an interview that there was some level of sexual antics between them. Dunno if it was what one would call a “relationship”, though.

And let’s be honest, someone thinking that Robin Williams was an alien is kind of an understandable mistake to make.