Well, more accurately “On yesterday’s date: Life sucked” but i haven’t gone to bed yet. Nothing particularly special, just a highly promising and valued LTR (7 months?) looking somewhat less promising in fairly mundane ways. It’s enough for me to take my first drink in…awhile.
Who’s up for toasting the ways in which life can (sometimes) suck?
In what ways is it looking less promising?
The girl is afraid that she’s getting less attracted to me. The confusing bit is the “afraid” part. She is still very much in love with me and is terrified to lose me…but she thinks she might be “changing.” My read is that she’s legitimately very confused. Picture the usual “it’s not you, it’s me” dumping discussion except 1.) she’s still having dreams about us spending the rest of our lives together and 2.) she really really doesn’t want to break up. Basically the conversation was just worrisome enough to set me entirely on edge but not clear enough to give me a discrete set of things to be concerned about.
That vagueness prompts my request for booze buddies. Relationship advice not required (or desired). Drink to your last flat tire if need be.
I had a perfectly hideous time at a dance yesterday. Suffice it to say it reminded me of all the things that are wrong with me and why, faced with any social opportunity, I should probably just hide in a box under an assumed name until it goes away.
/me raises a glass with Telcontar >^.^< ~
Misery loves company, especially miserable company. I hope, though, that your time wasn’t too hideous, or that you at least have a luxury box to hide in. You know, plush, soft walls. Big screen tv. wet bar. All the things that can come in a well equipped hide away.
Life sucks because I have a fabulous, understanding, wonderful husband I will love until the day I die. I have an interesting and challenging day job, and this Fall I will be attending a prestigious graduate school and have already been contacted by a professor looking to do research with me. I am financially comfortable, like where I live, in reasonably decent physical condition, and have no complaints but one, very deep, very painful circumstance. I am completely, utterly, profoundly, desperately lonely. Sometimes I sit in the train station before work and listen to the homeless people talk to one another, and think, even homeless people have a support network. What the hell is wrong with me? The answer to that ‘‘what the hell’’ is incredibly complex, and I don’t know if I will ever get past my fear of getting close to other people. Everyone I see is a betrayal waiting to happen. I keep trying to put myself out there, but it seems like for every one step forward I’m running back two. I took a big risk and went out dancing on Thursday night, must have met 50 people, danced with 25 lovely gentlemen, and ended the night on the verge of tears because I couldn’t bear watching people love and support one another. I would give up so much of what I have now just to have friends.
My life doesn’t suck as such, my current relationship does. Big time.
(((((Olives)))))
It seems to me you have at least one true friend (your husband), and that is more than many people can say.
And you are challenging your comfort zone which is also more than many people can say. The thing about leaving your comfort zone, of course, is that it is profoundly uncomfortable, and leaves you wondering why the hell you put yourself through these things. Rest assured there is a long range payoff.
hugs If you ever want to meet for lunch or whatever, I know a fab, cheap Dominican joint on 27th street. 
I have a lot of friends that love and support me, and for that I am truly and wholly thankful. I have enough money, for the most part. I have a nice car and a big-screen tv. I have a little yard, two pets that I adore, kids that behave, for the most part. Life is excellent, superb, and good, for the most part.
What I don’t have and the situation that makes my life suck sometimes in a most peculiar way, is sex. I am a woman that has always had the sex drive of a teenaged boy. I always say that if I were married, we’d have sex every day. And twice on Sundays. Here I am, 40, with a libido that is only rising, if anything, and yet, I haven’t had sex in 2 or is it 3 years!? I’ve lost count! I can’t lower myself to a one-night stand, and yet I can’t seem to get past a second date without dumping or being dumped, either. And no, toys don’t compensate. It’s the whole experience I crave. Sigh.
I know, but he can’t take up the slack all the time. He is a doctoral student and it wasn’t until yesterday I was able to spend any significant time with him in over a month.
I appreciate the encouragement, and I know that when I get this discouraged, it is usually temporary and I won’t give up long-term. I’ve been doing more to work on this problem in the last month than I have in probably three years, and I am somewhat optimistic that making friends will be a lot easier once I start school and am surrounded by people with similar interests and backgrounds (I actually met some students the day I visited campus and we got along great.) Pushing yourself beyond your comfort zone just gets exhausting after a while, and I felt the need to vent. I hope we can get together sometime. I would love to meet you.
Well, I guess I feel a little better not being alone, down here in the dumps. On the plus side, I have a job and bosses I absolutely love. It’s spring, my favorite time of year (with no snow in the forecast - yay!). My 22 year old son is finally growing up and working. My 18 year old though is… acting 18 and making me lose sleep. I am in a beautiful relationship with the sweetest man on the planet. BUT, as sweet as he is, and as much as I care for him, I am scared. He is in a chair because of a diving accident 26 years ago. I am having to face my fears in terms of whether I want to spend my life (potentially) with a man who will always have physical issues. At this exact moment his surgeon (who is also a neighbor) is at his house examining a potential sore on his backside. He has spent the last six springs in the hospital. But, man, I care for this guy!
My life doesn’t really suck–in fact, in many ways it is about as awesome as it has every been–but the romantic relationship side has been deader than Generalissimo Francisco Franco for longer than I care to count. Recent efforts to remediate this issue have been met with blazing non-success (unless one counts women who merely want to exchange endless IMs and e-mails with no intention of ever meeting face-on) which is all the more painful in light of one particular living-and-breathing femme d’intérêt who I see every day but with whom it would be totally inappropriate in multiple ways for me to conduct a biblical relationship.
It could and has sucked much, much worse, and thundering herd of people have more problems than I have ever had to deal with, so I’m pretty fair middling. But it would still be nice to have a lass on me arm for Paddy’s festivities.
Stranger
Yeah, life sucks because I had a ‘relationship’ go down the toilet as well. Things were going great, dating for two months, I told her I was ready for a relationship, she said she needed more time. I was fine with that, but decided I needed to have some kind of timetable so I wouldn’t be waiting for a year for her to decide ‘no’. She got extremely defensive, we had an argument over the phone, and she ‘broke up’ with me…
BY EMAIL! :mad:
If she doesn’t want to hang out with me anymore, fine, but at least she could have the ovaries to say it to my face. Plus she still has my Ray Ban sungasses grrrr :mad:
My most recent ex-boyfriend broke up with me by e-mail also. We had dated 2-1/2 years.
So it’s Spring break and that means this marks the 7th year in a row of having now friends outside of school and nothing to do except sit alone at home and do fuck-all.
Normally it’s just business as usual and I don’t notice this fact, but it didn’t help that I saw my friend from High School two days ago and she’s engaged. I’m happy for her, but it was just a little er… gut-wrenching thinking about how my friend is getting married and I haven’t even so much as hung out at the mall with, well, ANYONE, ever, since Spring Break in 7th grade.
And then there’s the girl I like, yeah I’m pretty sure she likes me too, but you know what? It’s time to face it, I’ll never know, ever, I’ve never worked up the nerve to ask anyone out and I never will, I accept it. Probably the only way I could remove that brain filter is if she walked in one day and literally smacked me with the clue-by-four (yes, literally, I mean she would actually walk in carrying a wooden plank with “clue” written on it and then gobsmack me while explaining slowly she likes me, and that’s just to raise the chances from 0% to .01%). I’m the king of “excuses so retarded I don’t even believe them when I make them.” “Oh the invitation should evolve naturally from a conversation!”
Naturally from what? “Oh, there are too many unknowns.” Right, okay, I don’t know if she has a boyfriend and I have the shakiest evidence imaginable she MIGHT, and the context following the conversation I walked in on heavily suggests she was talking about something else ENTIRELY. And even if she did it’s not like I’m some guy she’s barely tolerating, I know almost for a fact she wouldn’t feel creeped out by me if I tried. “But what if you’re just projecting and she doesn’t really like you!?” Uh… huh, and I’m certain that hyper-squeeing when she talks about the freaking pencil I gave her (yes, there is slightly more background to this) and her getting all excited that I like the same webcomic as her is just her special way of telling me to go die in a fire, right? But no, brain, you keep ending all of our conversations with an awkward silence even though I know your “rationalizations” make no sense. Every freaking conversation talktalktalktalktalkgreattimetalktalktalk Mutual stare for 15 seconds (in unison)“So… bye.” It’s not like advice would help either, I know what to do, pulling it off is something else entirely, for God knows what reason.
There, that felt good, I needed a “vent your emo” thread.
Not an exact match but close enough that I definitely know what you are going through. But change the LTR from 7 months to 15 years, add the fact that I’m in Iraq and subtract the drink that I can’t have.
I’m dating someone awesome, finally, and I’m terrified that the whole thing is going to crash and burn. This is the best relationship I have ever been in, and I can’t stop thinking about how it’s going to end.
Come on, do it. You can’t be properly emo at the mere thought of being rejected, you have to go out and have it happen. Sigh, they don’t make depressed people like they used to.
She might even say yes, which would give you more to angst about :).
Ouch, I’m sorry. So much suck. I hope you’re in a better frame of mind about this than I am right now. My current mood could best be described as “nuke the whales and napalm the puppies,” which is a slightly dangerous state to be in if you’re military.
Maybe the “been there, done that” t shirt for this comes in a nice color? Still a rather poor consolation prize though. Good luck!
I don’t have access to nukes or napalm. Or puppies and whales.