Jewelry IS an intimate gift, one that strictly speaking a lady isn’t supposed to accept from any man other than her husband, fiance or a blood relative!
T is being a greedy bridezilla. She needs to be told that it’s $10 for her, just like it’s $10 for everyone else…or she can personally pay the extra $240 for each of her coworkers’ presents on their birthdays.
L, well she’s not asking for any extra money, so I suppose that if she wants to buy an expensive vacuum it’s her business.
P had no business trying to get extra money for her daughter and using L as a convenient cover. P is the one who is actually asking for the money, so she’s the one being the rudest here.
Same thing where I worked, down to the communal monthly part. We didn’t even get our own cake, nevermind a gift. And I thought that was generous – I’ve worked at other places where there was no mention of birthdays at all. I’m rather stunned.
Like these things seem to do too often, it sounds like it’s gotten out of hand and gone from “nice gesture” to “expectation” for some of the individuals involved. Glad you all agreed to stick to the 10 dollar limit.
By the way, my birthday is in February, so I’m giving you plenty of time to let your co-workers know that I feel the need for a pony. M’kay?
When I was in school, the custom was for the Bdayer to bring a bag of sweets. Counted, too, you brought one per classmate and maybe, if Mom let you, a few extra for your bestestest friends who happened to be in a different letter group.
Every job I’ve had in this area has pretty much the same custom: Bdayer brings something edible to share.
Whenever I’ve worked someplace else, I’ve brought the custom over. It’s my Bday, I bring in a huge bowl and just fill it with Skittles and MnMs. I’m told several places have kept the custom after I left
You should just start now. We had that crap going on around here, and I would give a bit. Then I got someone a couple of gifts for their baby before the rest of the people did. When they came around asking for money I said I’d already given something so I said no. They got mad at me, so I said from now on don’t even bother with me then. I’ve been here for five years and not once has anyone even known it was my birthday.
I’m already getting ready to tell them to not give me anything for both my upcoming wedding and the baby. If they want to give a card fine, but that’s it, I’m going to hand it back to them otherwise.
I think it may. There is a big difference between “Could you see your way to a $10 contribution toward a birthday gift we’ve chosen for X?” and “Well, it X’s birthday, so you owe her $10 - fork it over.” Each of these leaves the same total in your wallet, but not the same taste in your mouth.
I once had a summer job at a deli. One of the co-workers was leaving the place to get married, plus it was her birthday, so there was a collection going round for 3 presents (b-day, wedding, leaving). Now, she and most of the other workers had been there for years and they were all good friends, so taking up a collection isn’t completely unreasonable - except when they asked me (the student, working at my summer job, for $6.50/hr) for FIFTY BUCKS to put towards these gifts.
I refused and I don’t think any of them forgave me. But I am quite convinced that even if I had coughed it up, I still wouldn’t have gotten as much as a card upon my departure from that place.
Yes, that makes a lot of sense - a new worker working for 7.7 hours (not including deductions for taxes) to give the money to someone they probably didn’t even know that well. Putzes.
Ed, sorry, I wasn’t completely clear - I’m not really working an office job right now. Well, I kinda am, but it’s a very small company, only for the summer, and they’re the kind of people that would never ask for something like this. Come September I’ll have to look for a real job again, and when I run into the office gift-giving politics, I would like to take a stand on it right from day one.
