One barn-style house -- cheap!

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It may look like a barn, but this Chicagoland residence is actually a house! Pretty snazzy looking on the outside. Not 100% sure about the interior layout – what am I, psychic? – but presumably it contains a complete assortment of tastefully styled bedrooms, bathrooms and other living quarters, indoor plumbing and electricity.

The current occupant is an esteemed journalist, but he is really, really busy and doesn’t want to be bothered SO I WILL BE HANDLING ALL THE FINANCIAL DETAILS. Payment in the form of large suitcases filled with rubles.

NO TITLE SEARCHES PLEASE!

How much for shipping and handling?

That is a pretty house. Can I get it without any of the Victorian detail?

Hello.

I heard from a friend that you’re running a special on a house at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. Could you provide me with details?

I’d like to handle through my barrister, so if you could send me your personal information (name, social security number, bank account number, etc.) I’ll have him get in touch with you.

Zillow.com claims it is “not for sale”. But trust me, I know someone who knows someone.

That listing doesn’t mention that the building was damaged in a fire. I might be a little wary that they haven’t had time to fix the damage.

Does it come complete with message board admining abilities?

SOLD! Well…sort of…