Friday was A BAD day. A situation that had been slowly simmering came to a raging boil. I made two phone calls and received two and cried my way through all of them.
After I got everything resolved I had a sinus headache from all the crying so I took a couple of sinus pills and went to bed.
And had this dream…
I’m sitting on the hill on back of my grandmother’s house. I’m picking violets out of the grass and making chains out of them.
I hear a voice say “Yaya.” I lift my head and my nephew Craig-who died two years ago-is standing there by my side. He looks like he did before he got sick. He’s even wearing his X-Men shirt.
I pull him in my lap and hug him tight. I kiss his little face (he was only four when he died) and tell him how much I’ve missed him. I even run my fingers through his thick curly hair.
I ask him what he’s doing here and he looks up at me and says “Don’t be sad Yaya. I have a secret to tell you.” I ask him what it is.
He says “Danny says he’s going to repay you that favor soon. Just be patient. Danny says he’s going to help you like you helped him.”
Danny was my best friend in high school. He died of AIDS eight years ago. Craig never knew Danny and as far as I know I never mentioned Danny to Craig.
When Danny came out to his parents, I helped him figure out what to say and sat there with him as he said it. On his deathbed, Danny told me he would always remember how I supported him and would someday help me out if he could.
Craig then said he had to go. I kissed and hugged him again. I told him how much I loved him. I told him to give Danny a hug from me and watched him walk away.
I woke up smiling and crying at the same time. It may have been just a dream but it really touched me.
I’ve had some weird dreams at times. This one is weird, but I would not let it bother you. You did a good thing for Danny, you should feel good about it. You had a rough day, and needed a positive dream.
I may be full of it though.
I would think that your dream meant one of two things, either your nephew that died is the harbinger of salvation (x-men)of your problems - which is death - he died(by sickness) as did your best friend Danny OR: Danny’s example (that your loving nephew brought to mind, suggesting good intentions) will spur you to reveal something (secret, unknown) that will resolve your problems one way or another; the question may be: How did Danny’s parents react to the news of his “coming out”, were they accepting or did his presentation (which you helped craft) worsen his relations with his parents? How exactly will Danny “repay” you?
Danny’s parents were very accepting of it. They basically had figured it out anyways but it was still hard for Danny to tell them.
My issue,that hopefully Danny is helping me with, is right now I’m very attracted to someone I can’t be with. Both of our situations keep us apart. I hope we’ll be together someday but I know the odds are against us. I’ve tried to find someone else who makes me feel the same,but they all come up short.
How I feel is no secret…but Danny I still could use your help. You of all people know how hard it is for me to find someone I can deal with who can also deal with me.
I miss you Danny…and Craig I miss you too.
Hardygrrl,
The first things that comes to mind is that in the future, you will have to make a decision that will be very difficult to make. (a la your friend having to tell his parents) It will be something that will be hard to do, but once you do it, you will know that you made the right choice. Your friend will help you do this. (Now I sound like one of Dionne Warwick’s friends.)
More than likely, it won’t have to do with your relationship problem. If it does, I would have to say it sounds like you’re going to have to put the thought of being with that person to rest, but something better will come along, making it the right decision.
In any case, I wish you all luck. Don’t look for things to happen with this. You’ll know when it happens.
Oh, and I just got wrestling tickets yesterday. 5th row, behind the announcers. (sorry, had to share that with someone who would give a damn!)