Justice delayed, but not denied. It took over forty years & an diligent out-of-state trooper to finally make it a reality, but it’s a victory for law enforcement nonetheless.
Who is this person? Probably one of the most unsafe drivers that’s ever blown by you in the passing lane as you were doing 70 mph. A man who’s had a valid New York State Driver’s license since 1960 and never once received a traffic ticket. A person who displays no discernable regard for vehicle traffic safety laws and probably doesn’t even know how to operate a directional signal. A guy whose nagging wife has saved his family’s life thousands of times by screaming, “Look Out!” everytime he’s sightseeing instead of keeping his eyes on the road. Lead foot, speed demon, Mario Andretti on crack; pick your metaphor…they’d all be accurate.
“No!”, you say. Surely there’s a lot of exaggeration - or shall we say ‘poetic license’ - in this description.
There really isn’t. His wife has literally snapped the heels off of shoes slamming them down on the steel floor boards in a futile attempt to hit the imaginary brake pedal on the passenger side of the family jalopy. From an early age, his three children all learned their love of gambling (and poor driving skills) by betting on how many cars they’d pass on the Belt Parkway as they took their weekly 20 mile drive from Long Island to Brooklyn; the final tally always exceeding 150. Driving with him near any airport is the most dangerous thing a person can do; he spends more time watching the pretty jets take off and land than he does watching the road he’s speeding along. Passengers who driven with him have literally gone from black-haired to gray on cross-town trips. Every car he’s ever owned has clawmarks on the passenger side dashboard. Cabbies the world over look up to him as a modern day St. Christoper.
“How many accidents has this guy had?”, you wonder. Not many more than your average driver. Probably a 1/2 dozen by my count. Mostly fender benders and one totalled VW Passat without any injuries.
You’re probably asking yourself, “How can anyone be so lucky?” Most of us know damn well traffic police aren’t blind. Even with a radar detector, you’re bound to get nailed eventually. True. I never claimed old Jeff Gordon Sr. hasn’t been pulled over, I myself witnessed that occurrence at least ten times in my earlier years. I only stated that up until last week, he’s never been cited or ticketed. When you snap the final piece of the puzzle in, it all makes sense. It’s that ‘little’ thing known as “professional courtesy”. That little ‘get out of jail free card’ with your name, badge number and photo ID in the dress blues.
Sorry Dad. Unfortunately for you, the Florida State troopers don’t have the esprit de’corp that your fellow New York cops do. You should know as well as anyone that ignorance of the law is no excuse. Unless you want another $120 fine for not slowing down and moving to the left lane when passing a patrol car with his lights on, you’ll start obeying the rules of the road when snow-birding next winter.