Bzzzz.
Bzzzz, bzzzz, bzzzz!
Darn good, I say!
Bzzzz.
If life is fair, I will make my own bzzz when I post.
Busted!
As for me:
I work with blood. I test your blood to know its type in case you need some more. Part of my job is to look at blood real close and count the cells - red and white, so neat and so many!
I work in the lab to help your doc see if you are sick. How? First I poke you, then I look in your blood! And your pee, but that’s not as much fun. It smells.
I threw up my hands and quit, but till last fall I sold books. I found books, told folks which books were good, put books in nice piles, ran around with carts of books and stood long hours on my feet. Fun work with percs, but low low pay. Worked with nice kids who made me laugh.
Moved to a big new mall store and loathed it. Big fat bore with no book love and bad songs. Rat Pack day in and day out. Frank, Dean and Sam. Just kill me.
This was the best thread I saw in my whole time on the Dope when it was done so long ago. Go Hal!
I am a wife. I stay at home most of the time. I like it. I was a mom for a short time, but we lost our boy. I am sad all the time now, for I miss him so much.
I keep the books for a man who builds each house to suit. I write his checks, I pay the men who pound the nails for him, I tot up things for tax. I can be at home most of the time as I do this. It is a sweet deal.
I’m a P. R. chick and web geek. I write news to tell what’s up at my school. I give tours, schmooze, and help bring in more folks who want to learn our kind of stuff – cows, crops, trees, plants, how to build a house, how to fix big rigs that dig. I work at a cool place and I love it!
I take art that we do and make books from it and cool things to show folks when my boss meets with them to sell our skills to them so they will use us in their jobs and pay us lots of dough. But I don’t seem to get that dough, it goes to the big dogs and I’m stuck with change.
I talk to folks on the air - on tape, not live. I tell them the names of shops where they can buy things, and of those who can help them in court, or if they’re sick, or need to have their cars fixed up or their trees chopped down. Every hour, I say our name and the names of sites in the state where you can pick us up. The rest of the time, I edit sound and make ads and shows in short and long form. In the time that’s left, I hound the news guys for spots so we can hype their next show, as the news guys seem to hate to do spots. All in all, I have lots of fun.
I take texts and put them from one tongue to a tongue that’s not the same. I read through texts too to make sure they have no screw ups in how the words are spelt or put in a phrase. I deal, in the main, with texts that have to do with those who help the sick get well. But most of the time I use words that are more long than this.
That word is too long and is not a word you can use, by the rules.
Are you a doc? Did you leave a knife in a sick guy? I’ll help you in court, and pay the sick guy if he wins. Then I’ll make you go to a class to learn how not to leave knives in sick guys. Then I’ll make you give me more cash.
I help small kids ski, too.
I make games that play on your game set at home. I’m the guy that tells the rest of the team how the game should play, then they go and do all the hard work to make it. This means I write a lot. I write docs about all the things in the game, from big to small. Then I meet with the team and fight with them – they want this, I want that – that’s one of the best parts of my job!
Then, when I’m done at night, I go home and make more games just for fun! How weird is that?
Pwned! That’s … the law of one of the mods, whose name it is not in the rules for me to say.
Bzzzzzz 
Noooooooo!!! :mad:
By the way, when I am not in the midst of the job that I told you of, I do stuff that I don’t get paid for but is kind of like a job. I do a lot of work to get folks to vote for us and put our team in the House. That way we can help make laws to keep the air and lakes clean, to make sure we keep our health care and schools, to make sure that all folks have a house, to make sure that all folks’ votes count, and to make sure we stay out of dumb wars.
The main field I do most of my work in is to make sure that queer and trans folks keep our rights. But I am on the Board too, and help choose what the whole team will do in this part of the land. Too, I help with the team in my part of town. In the past, I ran here, and got some votes. That was a hell of a lot of work, let me tell you. Last time, I broke my leg on some ice.
The whole thing is a lot of work, and the most hard work of all is when there will soon be a vote. We think there will be a vote this year, so this is the part where we work our ass off. Go Jack!
I lead a staff that gives folks stuff to read on how to grow plants, both for food and to look at. I pick what to run, how to run it, who writes what, and how it should look on the page so folks will get good facts and see nice pix. Plus I make sure it’s all true. I work with good folks, make big bucks, have lots of fun, love my job. It takes an hour to get to work and to get home but oh well.
I move furniture. More properly, I move expensive furniture.
I move it here. Then I move it there. I talk to customers. I get firm with customers. I say, “thank you very much” to customers. Sometimes, and this is only a recent thing, I even sell the furniture to the customers. Selling, notwithstanding, all the time I move the furniture.
When the boss hired me he said, “I don’t care how you do the job, just make sure the furniture gets out.” I just had my 3-month review today. I’m still employed. I move furniture well. (He actually gave me a pat on my back during the review. Wow, I thought.)
Oh, yeah. I also get to deal with all the disgruntled customers who are upset that their widely overpriced handmade solid-wood furniture is insert complaint.
They title this job, “Transportation Coordinator.” If you want it, its yours.
Right now, I sit at home on my butt all day and surf the 'net to find a job. I used to count beans, but these days I’m just a bum. I read books, make calls, clean the house, and try to be a good mom to the cats. Thank Og Herr Cake makes good bucks now.
I take care of the books at my school. I fix books, but when they are too old, I “weed” them. Then, I buy more NEW books for kids. I make cards so kids can get books. I also teach kids with books, and help the folks who teach the kids in class. I watch out for the tech stuff, and teach all the grown folks how to use it. I help kids and big folks find out things they need to know for their work at school.
I like books, I like kids, so I love my job.
You do not e’en try!