Never noticed that, but it’s sadly spot on.
Children of Divorce Twice as Likely to Write Bad Poetry
Idi Amin declares former defense minister “delicious.”
Philandering String Theorist Can Explain Everything
This was just a line, not a story, but it’s my all-time favorite… it’s from a list of toy-buying tips for parents:
Visit your local mall for such upscale toy stores as Wooden Toys Your Kids Will Hate and Professor Faggot Q. Boredom’s Lame-U-Cational Cocksuckery.
There isn’t an actual article to go along with this one, it was just one of those sidebar headlines, but I don’t care, it still cracks me up:
“Hank Williams, Jr. Honored by National Society for Football Preparedness”.
This (23-Year-Old Arrested For Failure to Own Halogen Lamp) struck me as hilarious, especially since I had recently gone to drop off some stuff at Goodwill and saw a forest of these lamps lined up in the parking lot.
Way to spoil the punchline! Jeez! 
I like Long-Awaited Beer With Bush Really Awkward, Voter Reports
Malcolm X: 'I also have a dream’
‘I have a dream that one day little black children will beat the living crap out of little white children’
I love this one, too.
Can’t recall specific phrasing but one to the effect of; “Why do gay guys keep sucking my cock”, and “Two area stoners agree that bowl is cashed”.
Not an article, just a one-off: Pacifist Linebacker Dodges NFL Draft
Not a headline, but one of my all-time faves from the Horoscope (I’m citing from memory so may be slightly inaccurate)
“…last week’s horoscope was in error. References to ‘tall, dark stranger’ should in fact have said ‘enraged lowland gorilla.’ We apologize for any inconvience this may have caused.”
My all-time fave has already been mentioned, the one about the outbreak of WWI as X declares war on Y declares war on Z, and “Nations Struggle To Remember Allies” (with the Ottoman Empire nearly declaring war on itself). It was that specific page that made me buy the book, Our Dumb Century, as I picked it up at random at the bookstore, and turned me on to The Onion in the first place.
My other favorite (that I quote all the time) wasn’t a headline article but a sidebar one-liner: Standard Deviation Not Enough For Perverted Statistician.
Though I’m also quite partial to the sub-headline about Amelia Earhart’s disappearance: Famed Aviatrix ‘Probably Went Shopping’.
Why Do All These Homosexuals Keep Sucking My Cock?
Special Mention: Don’t Tell Me You’ve Never Wondered What Yoda’s Penis Looks Like
Some more from Our Dumb Century:
“President confronts Depression with ‘Big Deal’ plan. ‘Big Deal, I’m Rich!’ Roosevelt says.”
“Cambodia to switch to skull-based economy”
(On Clinton) “New President Feels Nation’s Pain, Breasts”
“Sacco, Vanzetti executed for murder, Italian descent: Pair dies on two counts of wopness.”
“Nagasaki Bombed 'Just for the hell of it,” Second A-bomb would have just sat around anyway, say generals."
“Pentagon develops A-bomb-resistant desk: Schoolchildren now safe from atomic blast.”
I like how the editorials change so rapidly. Before wars, Zweibel praised “Our Teutonic Masters” and immediately calls for their death as soon as war is declared.
In a similar vein, Perverted Ninja Likes Being Seen.
There’s a really good one today, but I don’t know how to link to it.
“Jaws of Death Used To Stuff Woman Into Burning Car”