If you can pull this off - both parts - then you’ll be doing better than at least 2/3 of the other folks.
I used to work for match.com, back when online dating was slowly making the transition from “creepy” or “don’t tell mom!!” to mainstream, and I saw thousands upon thousands of profiles as part of my damn job.
Easily half of them included either or both of these:
- I like to laugh and have fun with friends
- I’m equally comfortable in jeans and t-shirt, or dressed up for a night on the town
I wish I was kidding.
You don’t necessarily have to be super wordy - some people’s eyes will glaze over - but you’ll be more compelling by showing at least a bit of your weird/unique little quirks, so your personality comes through the other person’s computer screen.
Photos are MORE IMPORTANT than your words, and I’m saying that as a writer and a reader. Nobody’s gonna be drawn in to read your carefully edited profile in the 1st place if you’ve got a blurry, dark photo - or worse, no picture at all.
If you can get someone to snap a few shots of you - doesn’t have to be fancy hair or elaborate makeup, but just nicely lit and in focus - then you’ll get waaayyy more mileage than anything else you can do with your profile.
In fact, unless you’re usually done up that way daily, skip fancy make-up and hair, since you want to look like YOU. A nice version of you, but authentic.
Let’s see, what else?
Oh … my personal observation was that straight men over age 30 often set their desired age bracket to cut off way below their own age. As in, “Hi I’m a 62 year old man, and I’m looking for a woman 25-39.” (Seriously.) I’m not sure there’s anything you can do about that, but be aware that you may not show up in their search results simply for that reason.
Finally, and yes I’m keeping the above in mind: do. NOT. lie/hide/obfuscate. Not your age, not your weight, not the fact that you have kids or got a divorce or whatever.
I never understood why so many people will post a photo that’s outdated by 20 years and 75 pounds … and then act all flabbergasted or offended when they arrive for that 1st date and see the dismay on their date’s face.
One last random thought: I was involved with the marketing dept. on a “success stories” project. It was really heartwarming to see all these people, many of whom even sent wedding invitations. (Hey, we were the reason they’re together!) In all honesty, “homely” would have been a kindness in describing some of them - many of them. But there they were, couple after couple, beaming with delight in their pictures with their arms wrapped around each other, crooked teeth and beer bellies and saggy chins and all. A few of them would have called you a “young’un” if that’s any encouragement.
There really is a lid for every pot.
My original user name here was Raginghormonal. It was a menopausal thing and I don’t think I want to go back to that.