Online dating nightmares, care to share.

The BBQ Pit
21

As he struggles with the idea of exposing some of his skeletons …

Long URL, so I the link won’t work in vBulletin 1.1.3. Lemme’ post what I have online. DISCLAIMER - I don’t want this post to be interpreted as my posting of a personal on the SDMB, but rather the solicitation for a critique of what’s up there now. I’d like to see what others have online. If the moderators have a problem with this message, I understand that they have the right to edit or delete it..

*Age: 35
Hair: Dark Brown
Eyes: Blue
Height: 5 feet 10 inches / 177.8 cm
Body Type: Average
Language: English
Ethnicity: White / Caucasian
Religion: Spiritual, but not religious
Education: Graduate degree
Occupation: Political / Government
Income: I’ll tell you later
Smoker: Don’t Smoke
Drinker: Drink Socially / Occasionally
Status: Never Married
Have Children: No
Want Children: Undecided

Describing myself

I’m not Mr. Perfect, so if you’re seeking someone with ‘GQ good looks,’ an Ivy League diploma, and/or a six digit income, you might want to skip this ad. However, I am a down-to-earth, unpretentious, curious, creative, fun, and eclectic soul, a ‘recovering nice guy’ hoping to find a kindred spirit to be a partner in crime. I’m a financially secure working professional, but I’m not rolling in it. My mindset is left of center, but right of Berkeley. I’m a city person by nature (despite my residence at the end of a cul-de-sac), but I enjoy outdoor adventures and long road trips into the middle of nowhere. I’m an adequate pool and dart player, Edward Abbey is my favorite author, I’m fascinated by architecture and the built environment, and I’m a closet geek – please don’t tell anyone. Superficially – 5’10", 165 pounds, with a full head of short brown/black hair, and the biggest blue eyes in Central Florida. Not a hunk, but cute nonetheless – nobody has run screaming at the sight of me, or has been embarrassed to show me off to her friends.

Describing my ideal match

(FLORIDA ONLY, PLEASE. ALL SPAM FROM RUSSIAN BRIDES WILL BE REPORTED IMMEDIATELY.) I’m not necessarily seeking a clone who shares every belief, interest or opinion of mine – just mutual acceptance and joy at each other’s presence. Ideally, you’re a fun ‘girl next door’ type with an edge, idealistic but not dogmatic, a dreamer but not lost in the clouds. You’re a child at heart, a true individual with a slightly warped sense of humor, who can appreciate things that the average person might not bother to take a second look at. You work to live, not live to work. You’re empathetic, tactile, sincere and available. However, you aren’t a fundie, too country, a Rules Girl, or an adherent of the ‘five minute rule.’ One young child is okay, but please understand I don’t want the responsibilities of fatherhood without the joys. You don’t have to be Barbie, but I’m most attracted to women who don’t ‘outsize’ me. An interesting, articulate letter with a photo is a good thing. One-liners, form letters, vague descriptions and generic clichés (candlelit dinners, moonlit walks along a beach, “equally comfortable in jeans or evening gown,” etc.) are not. Later?

*There’s a picture of me on one of the SDMB member guides out there; it’s the same one I use in the ad.

22

I tried online dating. I placed an ad for myself on a whim. One time there was this girl I was talking to for a few weeks. She was always busy with school and I didn’t think she was too interested. She seemed nice though, so I decided to meet her. I figure it would at least get me out of the house for a night. Well, this girl, who I almost didn’t go out with, is now my wife. So sometimes online dating does work out. It’s hard to find the good ones through the internet, but then they’re hard to find IRL, too.

23

Don’t worry Osip, I caught the movie reference, even if no one else has…

24

My faith in the online dating system is hereby officially bruised.

That’s a nice ad. Well-written, articulate, spelled/punctuated/capitalized correctly, points out some good points and some “bad” points (the kind of things that, although they don’t mean you’re not a great guy, most women would like to know about BEFORE the first date). Says you’re not perfect right up front.

The only thing I can see that might be a problem (and it’s a small one), and we’ll need to hear from some other people on this, but it looks like you might be just a little… well… dull? You don’t need to say that you’re into bungee jumping or night sky diving or dwarf tossing, but the only activities you say you’re into are pool, darts, and looking at buildings.

In other words, what do you do for fun? It’s not in there.

25

I find the thought of being equally comfortable in my evening gown as I am my jeans just silly.
And what is a five minute rule? I’m a cyber innocent, apparantly!

26

Man, I’m starting to love this place.

Can I tell my stories oooh ooh can I can I? :smiley:

Got online at age 16, so I could talk to my -then- LD boyfriend cheaply. IRC. Yay. EFnet is a good way to grow a thick skin quickly. Broke up with that boyfriend.

Found (online) a guy who could get me set up with Linux. (Wasn’t in a position to download it on a 28.8 modem.) The guy, who was about 8 years older than me, then proceeded to get all horned up over the 16-year old computer geek chick. He had a woman. Over a period of about 6 months I got to know him. Was an idiot and fell in puppy love. Was told what a jerk his woman was. Met her (damn she’s nice!). Got away from that mistake. And into another.

Fell for (online) a sweet, irresponsible immature guy who doesn’t want to do anything for himself. Met him, dated him, got engaged, all in 10 months. He lived locally, btw. Broke up with him, fought with him, swore at him, wanted to kill him. Found another guy online.

Am currently with the last guy, have been for 2.5 years. He’s sweet, funny, plays pool, is sexy, am I allowed to mention sex here? He gives fucking fab-u-lous head. Someone be glad for me :> We’re getting married next year. The only downside - he lives in Georgia, USA. I live in New Brunswick, Canada.

sigh
This is my somewhat experienced advice for internet dating. Do not sign up for a dating service. Not unless you’re dying and really need a fix of loving.
The best way to find compatible people is to find a good forum, chat, etc where people with your interests congregate. IF you have time, talk there every day. Don’t give out your pictures the first month. Watch the people. Remember the things they say. I have been online for 5 years now and have not seen one -truly- consistant liar. (This includes one con artist/domestic abuser supposedly wanted by the FBI that I have had contact with.) Phone conferences are a good way to move from the online to the voice forum. After that, personal phone calls are good. And then meeting publicly/privately. I think it would (and has) take a good year until you are confidant enough about a person to know they are, for the most part, the person they are portraying.

Most people are going to go faster than this, esp if their interest is local, but I always think a group gathering is the best way to go, at first. Takes off the edge quite a bit, and lets you see how they interact with others.

I will point out here that my pool of experience is biased as I met all my men thru technical interests, and I have the advantage of there being a smaller female:male ratio in that population. So I had the pick of all the sexy geeks, in a matter of speaking :wink:

Anyways, read, disregard, insult, do what ya want. Flame away! Good luck Elmwood, you sound like a nice enough guy, I’m sure it’s just a matter of time :slight_smile: Ever consider dating a SDMBer?

27

Yes it was a joke… I am not that cruel.

SOrry I did not make that clear at the time I posted.

28

I’ve always tought that the idea of on-line dating was just a wee bit pathetic! I’ll give you five cents Elmwood and not a penny more!!!

29

Hey, Mods!!
Move this to E-Bay, would you?