Online Dating Question

Or, maybe, possibly, just perhaps, on the basis of the messages you have exchanged, she has decided she doesn’t want to give you her phone number because she just isn’t interested in you.

Well i finally got someone’s number and should be on a date with her next Saturday or sunday. Probably won’t call until Tuesday after the holiday

I’ve never sent that sort of pic. I’ve never taken one. I don’t plan to ever take one. I can’t say why some guys send those pictures, except to point out that it does get attention. Is there an online dating thread that doesn’t mention dick pics at some point?

There’s the old saying that there’s no such thing as bad publicity. While I find that maxim to be somewhere between disquieting and abhorrent (depending on how it manifests), I’m not sure I can say that it’s factually wrong. When there are so many people competing to be noticed, you have to do something to stand out. It happens more often than it should (which is never) and gets talked about more than it should (which is none); but if your goal is to get attention, it seems to work.

I have been playing on POF lately.

I am sorely tempted to put up a pic of Richard Nixon in my photo collection.

(Pet peeves thread)

Wait, what? You prefer women don’t respond if they aren’t interested but you don’t seem to like it very much if they don’t reply? :smack:

I don’t want a woman going out of her way to reject me because it pisses me off. If you don’t like my picture just delete the message and ignore it like I do when I get a message from women who are not attractive

I used Match for a couple of years. For me, it was a good way to “get back out there” after being married to the only woman I’d been intimate with, and then being divorced. To me, it was like dating practice or something. I learned a lot about myself, what I wanted and what I didn’t want. It basically helped me to become more outgoing and less risk-averse. I think it led to some non-online dating and ultimately to my wife, who I met at a Halloween party.

Remain open to the fact that it may be more than your picture that’s turning them off.

By the way, this is another common way that women can’t win in the online dating world. If we don’t reply we’re stuck up bitches. If we do reply with a “thanks but no thanks,” we’re stuck up bitches. :rolleyes:

I changed the headline to my profile last night and the messages have been pouring in

“I live alone and have a stable job”

That is a 95% percentile condition among on-line daters.

Now you just need to get a job and move out of your parent’s basement.

Stranger

I tried something similar: I changed my profile to say “I have worked my entire adult life, own my own house and car, have all my teeth and hair, and have never been in jail.”

I still had no replies.:frowning:

May need to use another photo

Assuming this is serious, I would look at that and think: aren’t you setting the bar awfully low? At my age (44), these (or their equivalents) should be a given.

What I want to read in a profile is what makes you, you. What are you passionate about? What interests you? List books you loved, movies, music.

A lot of guys have profiles that are the worst. Here are some examples:

  1. They don’t care who they date and it’s obvious. To me, it says they aren’t looking for me, just a warm body to fight away the loneliness. Their posts typically are very lacking in confidence.

  2. The profile is angry. “Ladies look somewhere else if you are into playing games” “I’m not looking to be your sugar daddy”.

  3. No pictures (“I’m a Dr and can’t show my picture”). Good luck with that working. To me it says he’s married, very unattractive, or needs to grow up. So what if someone sees your profile?

  4. Pictures that are just… Odd. The guy looking miserable. The guy with the really bad posture looking like he’s 80 and not 40. The guy in a group (which one are you??). The guy at a bar with other women. The guy using what is obviously his wedding photo.
    The guy, shirtless, bathroom selfie. The hunter with his dead deer/fish. The guy with the muscle car.

  5. They clearly did not read my profile. Case in point: I love dogs. I make it clear that if dogs aren’t for you, we are not a match. Yet, I would be messaged by guys that DO NOT LIKE DOGS. Why?! Or the guys that seem intent that “we can work around the distance” or “you can teach me to love art!”
    Now of course, these might be irresistible to some women. I’m just trying to give you my view.

In short, it’s not easy: If you ignore a guy, they get mad. If you respond to say thank you, but no thank you, few leave it at that. To a lot of guys, they think it means I’m interested or they can change my mind.

When I was online dating, I ran across a woman who was using a picture of Beyonce as her profile picture.

How sure are you that she wasn’t Beyonce?

I messaged her and said, “Isn’t that a picture of Beyonce?” She responded, “Well, I look a lot like her.”

First time here on the Internet, huh?

SUBTEXT: “…except for being fifty pounds overweight, with blotchy skin, frazzled hair, a lazy eye, and a hump on my back. We could be twins!”

Stranger

This happened at the end of my failed 2 year online dating run when frustration with the whole process was at its highest. The female friends I met through the various sites told me of their woes of showing up for first dates to be surprised by guys who misrepresented themselves in their profiles and dropped all these bombs over dinner. So my thinking was I thought I would just get all that out in the open to begin with and someone might find it refreshing. No one did.

What surprised me was the number one thing I was told guys lied about was their height. Why would you lie about something that would be extremely obvious on a first meeting?

I haven’t done this, but isn’t the idea that if you actually get to meet the woman in person they will clearly be overcome by your (looks|personality|wealth|humor|raw sexual energy) that they will overlook a little fib about your height?

It’s not like women aren’t lying also, they just usually underestimate their weight by 20-30 pounds instead of overestimating their height by 2-3 inches.

In fairness, those guys are showing you what they’re into.