There’s something amusing about threads that are essentially
man: “Why do women do this online?”
women: “Here’s why”.
man: “I don’t believe you, that obvously would never happen.”
women: rolleyes
man: “Why won’t anyone explain this mystery to me?”
I don’t believe that 100% of men would respond in one of those two ways. Like all trolls, they get attention disproportionate to their actual numbers.
I didn’t say I don’t believe it ever happens. The post I was responding to specifically said that half of men will whine and the other half will get belligerent. I also pointed out that a person who would do one of those two things could just as easily do it in response to being ghosted as to a firm and/or polite rejection.
I’m wondering–and bear with me here a moment–I’m wondering if it’s possible, and you’ll need to wrap your brain around this, because it’s a pretty crazy idea, and almost certainly wrong, but I think we should consider it anyway, because this is a strange world we live in and full of miracles and anomalous phenomena–I’m wondering if WHISKEY DICKENS WASN’T BEING STRICTLY MATHEMATICALLY CORRECT.
That still ignores the more important second half (which was snipped). That is, a person who would do one of those things would still do it in response to being ignored.
And also, this ghosting behavior isn’t exclusive to women, so the question shouldn’t be “Why do women do this?” It should be “Why do some people do this?”
That’s fair. 100% of men aren’t whiny or aggressive, I regretted making my percentages add up to 100% after I was past the edit window.
Instead of 100% of men, I should say “enough men” reply this way so as to make it not worth a woman’s response.
Well, an online stranger doesn’t owe you anything - not even an explanation for why they’re not interested anymore.
One reason given above was that, if a woman did explain about not wanting to continue seeing someone, men will often respond by arguing with her statements. Anyone else notice that at least one man here ARGUED WITH THAT STATEMENT itself?
The scenario involves not communicating anymore, so I’m not sure how explicit communication would fit in. I mean, am I supposed to call you, to say I’m not gonna call anymore? Email letting you know I won’t be emailing?
I didn’t notice that! Neither did you! You’re arguing with the hypothetical! Nuh uh! Also, I bet a woman argued with it too, why aren’t you mentioning that?
In retrospect I ghosted someone once. I want to feel guilty about it because I actually do make some effort not being a dick. But as good as things were going, she had been a strictly virtual acquaintance of mine for all of two weeks. It was nice to meet someone not insane (see post #3), but really that was about the depth of the relationship. Might have worked out, might not have. When I totally-by-accident met Ms. Right Realgirl, I immediately shut down the dating account, and chose not to return A voicemail from Virtualgirl. Why? Formally ending things that arguably hadn’t even started seemed like a needless contact and a potential friction point in the new relationship. Sure, Realgirl would probably totally accept my explanation of, “Oh, just pulling the plug on a nonstarter.” Probably. So why risk it? Better to put my efforts into developing things with Realgirl. Besides, Virtualgirl already told me she didn’t want kids, and I had 3 so…Saved her the effort of ending things with me down the road.
I recently started online dating myself, and was going to start a thread asking the same question. But I didn’t because I came to the conclusion that “She’s just not that into me dude.”.