Only 12 time-outs today, SDMD. Well done.

Welcome back, children. Today, some of the timeouts were nice enough to give us explanations of SMDB’s down status that were signed by Jerry. But most were just PAGE CANNOT BE FOUND displays even though the Youtube pages I started while waiting for the Straight Dope page to load played just fine. Gee, a problem on the Straight Dope side? Who could have fuckin guessed?

My question: Do the techs that run this stupifyingly incompetent website get a bonus if they actually manage to keep it running for 3 hours at a time or what? Has anyone in the history of running this fuckin site ever been fired or do you just keep promoting fucktards to abnormal levels of authority?

Somethin’s [post=8857974]kerplunky in the big whatsit[/post].

I think you have just about used up your $15. Come back next year.

What’s it like to be that angry all the time?

Johnny Hildo’s throwing his toys out of the pram. Is it Wednesday again?

Although I enjoy a good rant at** Johnny**, I had a pretty bad timeout after midnight too. The capybaras ate one of my posts and everything, argh.

Yeah, I’ve been experiencing timeouts too - which is unusual for me as I seem to have escaped them in the past. I just… don’t get the fuming anger though. If it doesn’t work, there are other things to do.

Yep. Even though I’ve given shit to Johnny before on these threads, I experienced it around Seattle-late-night time. (2300 or so.) For about 20 minutes, and that’s not for funnies.

Although the part of me that likes entertainment wants to watch him blow his top again…

(C’mon Johnny, threaten to sue them again for me! Makes me Hawt!)

Really, I stay because I like the people. This site does seem to time out more than others I go to.

ETA: and nobody got called a cunt this time. Good job, Johnny!

It’s early yet.

ETA: Or maybe he’s trying, but keeps getting a page saying “there has been a slight problem with the database…”

Did you mean Kant?

(It was meant to be a bad Google joke. I fail.)

Did someone on the SDSAB get their medical degree?

I know it’s just a message board (OK, it’s more than just a message board, but you know what I mean) but shouldn’t the techs be able to keep it running on a more consistent manner? The board goes down more often than a porn star, the search engine is one step above MS Word’s “Find” function and the page refresh is as fast as a turtle crawling through molasses. In the great scheme of things it doesn’t compare with stopping war or finding true love, but I really think we should be getting better service.

I am a software support team manager. If my customers had as many problems accessing our network or using our product as I have seen on the Dope, then we would quickly run out of clients. People expect connectivity and reliability and should reasonably expect the technical staff to identify the causes and eliminate them. Putting in temporary patches and hoping it holds together just doesn’t work.

I love the people here and the threads. I just renewed my annual subscription, the first time I have ever been willing to do that with any online subscription. But the idea of paying for poor quality technical service is turning this into the Straight Dope Masochists Board.

Didn’t you write this rant like a month ago?

Did it go well then? Do you expect it to go better now? If so, why?

Yes, at this very moment a Donald Trump-like executive is striding through the halls at SDMB headquarters, firing dozens of people, and leaving the rest quaking with fear.

That should speed things up!

My mental image of Johnny Hildo’s rage: Buffering . . . Buffering . . . Buffering . . . Aw fuck it.

Hey, maybe Jack Chick has a new comic out!

I’m desperately hanging onto my “Charter Member” status simply because I don’t feel that the board’s performance is worth the standard member rate. As soon as I’m no longer eligible for the Charter Member rate, I’m outta here.

Yeah, that $4.95 is a real hardship. That’s what, a pack of smokes?

I’m waiting for the Canadian dollar to be higher than the United Statesian dollar. Then you guys will be paying ME to come here! AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! {cough}

Actually, Johnny’s rant is getting more accurate all the time. That “weaning us” idea is starting to ring true. Or maybe it’s global warming.

It’s $4.95 that doesn’t get pissed away.

Will you expound on this?