Open letter to the Vegan Bitch

The BBQ Pit
1

Attention Vegan Bitch:

Yes, you are my best friend’s girlfriend, and I’d like to be a good host, but when you are invited to my house for a turkey dinner, it’s a pretty good assumption that a turkey will be served for dinner. In fact I’d place it at nearly 100% odds. You knew what you were getting into, and you came of your own free-will, so I’d like to point out a few things:

I have no interest whatsoever in the living conditions of farm-raised turkeys, and I strongly suspect that the rest of the guest didn’t either, so please don’t bother us with your PETA brochure details before we eat one. I have no doubt whatsoever that you are more sensitive and moral than most people (nice leather shoes, by-the-way) but it seemed a bit inappropriate.

I care not-at-all that the smell of cooking meat sickens you, but hey, thanks for mentioning it anyway. Remind me again why you came?

There are ‘many healthful alternatives to meat’ you say? Amazing! Dinner tonight, however, will not be one of them. Tell me, what part of “turkey dinner” eluded you? Did you maybe come expecting Turkish cusine?

Yes, the mashed potatoes will have both cream and butter in them as I will not ruin my recipe for your benefit. The corn, broccoli and rice has butter on them as well. Also, the rice was made with chicken stock and that white stuff on the broccoli is Hollandaise sauce – it has eggs in it. Sorry, but when you asked if there would be vegetables served with dinner perhaps you should have been more specific. You do eat right? Or do you maybe photosynthesize??

I feel really bad that you had to sit there all evening nibbling on dinner rolls – oh wait, no I’m not. Possibly because you are a sniveling, pouty little girl who uses her moral superiority to make herself the center of attention – and it worked too, for as soon as you left you were the main topic of conversation. In fact, I guarantee there was more laughter that night because you came.

2

You know, this may sound cruel, but I always thought the best thing to do to deal with militan vegans and their ilk is to eat meat in front of them.

Frankly, after hearing their dogma, its recently been my belief that the bacon in my sandwich tastes that much better now that I know that it was killed in the most violent and gruesome way possible :smiley:

3

I’m with you Incubus. I only regret I didn’t have any veal to offer her.

4

Well, IMO, it would be a good idea to make a minimal effort to have something for everyone attending your own party. However, if she kept trying to make a scene to push an agenda, MY sympathy seems to melt away.

5

Did the rolls have dairy in them? :slight_smile:

I’m a vegetarian, but I don’t preach. And when I have to, I nibble little bits of food here and there (hoping no one’s lied to me about what they contain, which has happened :frowning: ), or eat ahead of time, or bring food with the consent of the host. But when I cook for guests, I do try to make at least one dish that everyone can eat - and I cook meat too.

Sounds like she didn’t deserve that amount of effort, though.

6

:confused:
I you knew that she was a vegan bitch, or even just that she was a vegan, why did you invite her to your turkey dinner at which no vegan-friendly foods would be served?

7

I don’t mean to hijack here, but WHY do people do this? Several times (more than once), I have been eating at someone’s house, and they say something to the effect of “HA! I got you! That really has (chicken broth/bacon/some other common ingredient) in it!”

Uh…Great. You fooled me. Oh, yes indeed. You are the merry prankster, you are.

I just want to understand, why? I don’t try to trick you into eating vegetarian food. “HA! You’ve just eaten a dish with TOFU in it! HAHA!”

8

I’m of two minds on this issue.

On the one hand, the person in the OP sounds like she got what she deserved for doing her best to make someone else’s dinner party an unpleasant experience for everyone (which, IMO, is the sole province of the host/ess ;)).

However, if the vegan/vegetarian is polite and unassuming in his/her requests for food that he/she can eat, I also think that a good host/ess should take this person’s needs into consideration (but not with mashed potatoes–NEVER with mashed potatoes!).

I myself was rather embarrassed when the agency for which I work hosted an orientation lunch for new board members. One such member called to let us know that he’d be in attendance, and mentioned that he is vegetarian (not vegan, which can be more challenging to accommodate). He wondered if the food served would be something that he could eat, and offered to bring his own lunch if not.

I referred him to my coworker who was planning the affair, and let him take it from there, certain that he would accommodate the board member in his meal planning.

And he probably would have, only he ended up missing work on the day of the orientation lunch b/c of an emergency, so it was left to my boss (read: ME) to get lunch together. My boss wanted me to order pizza (as usual), so I mentioned getting a cheese or veggie pizza for the vegetarian board member. (It should be noted that when I’m planning a lunch in the office, I always order one pizza with no meat, in case of vegetarianism–my boss always gives me shit about it (he’s a Meat Lovers’ lover), and we always argue as a result.)

My boss’s attitude was basically, “That guy’s bringing his own lunch–GET MEAT LOVERS’.”

So I did.

And the guy did indeed bring his own lunch, but when he saw everyone else eating the pizza, he gazed hopefully at the stacked pizza boxes and wondered if all of it had meat.

Needless to say, he ended up eating what he’d brought.

Call me a wuss, but I felt bad, and mentioned aloud (with a dirty look at my boss) that if I had planned the menu, he would have been able to take advantage of the free grub.

I just felt like we’d been horribly rude to this nice little old man who was volunteering his time to serve on our board.

But, then, he wasn’t lecturing us on the horrible mistreatment of turkeys.

9

A very good friend of mine is not only a vegetarian, but has celiac disease, which means she can’t eat anything with wheat products in it, either. Most people who are not close friends don’t even know these facts, since she doesn’t make a big deal of it. It’s called being polite and gracious, which it sounds like your guest isn’t. Some of the onus belongs with your best friend, who could have (a) alerted his gf as to the menu (b) asked you to prepare something specific for her or © asked to contribute to the meal. This last would have been the best alternative as it would have allowed her to have something she would enjoy and share, and maybe even made a little bit of her point about healthful vegan meals instead of being obnoxious.

10

I think the problem is the girl’s attidute and lack of information (but I could be wrong). According to the OP, the girl “asked if there would be vegetables served with dinner”. To me, it sounds like she did not fully explain her dietary requirements. If she had, than it would be incumbent on Inky- to provide some foods she could eat. However, this should be done well in advance of the dinner party and not as the food is being cooked. If I had a specific dietary requirement, I would be damn sure a host (or potential host) knew exactly what I could not/would not eat.

But as for the OP. What the fuck is up with her? She knew there would be turkey and tried to ruin it for everybody else by spouting off about the treatment of animals. If meat (or the cooking of meat) upsets you soooooo much, don’t fucking show up. Simple, I think.

  • and after previewing *
    carrot, my wife (a recovering vegetarian) and I did that at out wedding. We some food that normally would mix meat and dairy. Since we couldn’t (Kosher laws), we used “tofu chesse”. We didn’t tell my father (since he wouldn’t eat tofu) until after the wedding. He said something like “Hmm. They were still pretty good.”
11

Hell, I should have re-previewed:

my wife (a recovering vegetarian) and I did that at our wedding. We had some food that normally would mix meat and dairy

12

On a more careful re-reading, this part I don’t really agree with. Did you know she was a vegan before she came? Did you know what that means?

If you said “oh sure, I’ll have rice and plenty of vegetables” knowing all that, and then said “gotcha” when she arrived, and only after that time did she start getting preachy about veganism, I can’t say I sympathize with you.

I don’t know many people who make rice with chicken broth, and enough people these days are watching their weight that many times vegetables are served plain with butter passed around as an option. A sister-in-law once told me that the polenta she was serving would be just fine for me to eat. About a quarter of the way into my serving, she dropped the bombshell that it was made with chicken broth. I put down my fork, and ended up spending at least a half hour in her bathroom while at the gathering, due to the digestive distress I was in since I can’t digest that properly.

13

Ferrett Herder, I’m sorry for what you sister-in-law did. I assume she knew that you could not digest it properly and that was a cruel, cruel thing do to. :mad:

However, as far as the OP, I assume the term “vegan” means different things to different people, just as “vegetarian” means so many different things to so many people. Some “vegetarians” eat fish. Some will eat things made with chicken broth. I know of one person that calls herself a “vegan” but eats cheese (in small amounts). Therefore, unless the people know each other well (as your sister-in-law should), I believe it is up to the person with the dietary requirement(s) to make 100% sure the host knows their requirements.

14

Fin_man, that’s why I asked the OP if he knew what veganism is, and if he knew it before she came over. I was trying to figure out if her perception of being “tricked” might have spurred her veganism preaching, or if she was just a very rude guest.

And yes, my sister-in-law knew I don’t eat chicken broth, she just didn’t think it was a big deal. Her attempt to get me to eat more “healthy” food pretty much wiped out that meal and any other eating for the day.

15

In agreement with Ferret Herder, sometimes people can be remarkably dense about dietary restrictions. As I mentioned before, my celiac friend often has people insisting that she “try something anyway” because “it’s just a little bit,” not appreciating that the “little bit” will have her doubled over in pain for hours as her uncooperative innards rebel. Same thing with other allergies. We were advised by a doctor to keep one of our babies away from a long list of things, including all corn products, while a possible allergy was tracked down. I had more problems with people trying to give her candy that she wasn’t allowed to have, and that I then had to take away from her. Gave a few bank clerks the Big Lecture, though.

16

My wife does this to me all the time, daggnabbit!

I still love her though.

17

I should have mentioned that the only warning I got from her was “I don’t eat meat, will there be any vegetables”? “Sure, plenty”.

Then she shows up and wrinkles her nose at the (heavenly) smell of roasting bird, and starts talking about stuff like unhygenic conditions in turkey farms and steroid injections and salmonella – things which strike me as a bit of a breech of dinner party etiquitte.

Fact is, had CG or I known the difference between ‘vegan’ as opposed to ‘vegetarian’ we would have happily set aside some potatoes and veggies for her, but instead she sits down, asks about the butter or eggs and and immediately starts pouting and riding my friend to leave. She spent the entire meal very conspicuously tearing up and eating dinner rolls one morsal at a time.

18

Yor fault for marrying her.
:smiley:

19

Ah, got it - yeah, that was her fault. Full points to Inky-.

20

Oh, I hate it when people do that! It’s one thing to say, “hey, I’m a vegan, so I don’t eat (fill in the blank),” but it’s quite another to drop that bombshell on someone during a dinner party. I got that once when I had to bring a dish for a party–the chick said vegetarian, but apparently meant vegan. I included cream cheese in the appetizer that I brought. Bitchiness ensued.

Personally, I think that if you don’t mention something like this beforehand, you lose all right to bitch. And it’s not like I don’t practice what I preach. For instance, I don’t eat a lot of red meat–I don’t like it, and a lot of the time, eating it makes me feel ill (Mom’s steak is an exception. So are fast food burgers–but that’s it). I try to, however, make that known to anyone who might be serving me food well beforehand. And, if I don’t make it known and they end up serving charbroiled T-bones…well, I don’t bitch. And, if it’s something they’ve cooked special, I eat as much of it as I can without complaining (though I can see how that isn’t an option for a vegan). Point is, I keep my mouth shut.

…unless, of course, they’ve done the steaks to the consistency of shoe leather. Then it’s cruelty to the memory of the animal.