He tried to feed him to the wood chipper but the pregnant cop caught him in the act.
God is a super evolved Multivac computer.
Eating the green ones mean you’re horny.
It was Maggie Simpson!
She was secretly getting molested and now her neice is too!
He survives but his wife has already remarried!
He kills himself rather than become the anti-christ!
It wasn’t him who died, it was his brother who’d budded off from him and jumped in the fountain!
She beats up her friend’s rapist and hitchikes away from stardom!
Carousel isn’t rebirth!
Beth dies!
Various stars appear in the credits suggesting baby names: Kirstie Alley, Harry Anderson, Jay and Michael Astin, Dan Aykroyd, Matthew Broderick, John Candy, Dyan Cannon, Belinda Carlisle, Ted Danson, Judi Evans, Woody Harrelson, Robert Hays, “Magic” Johnson, Michael Keaton, Joanna Kerns, Penny Marshall, Bill Murray, Roy Orbison, Cindy Pickett, Annie Potts, John Ratzenberger, Ally Sheedy, Lyman Ward, Wil Wheaton, and Warren Zevon.
Economics Teacher: 'In 1930, the Republican-controlled House of Representatives, in an effort to alleviate the effects of the… Anyone? Anyone?.. the Great Depression, passed the… Anyone? Anyone? The tariff bill? The Hawley-Smoot Tariff Act? Which, anyone? Raised or lowered?.. raised tariffs, in an effort to collect more revenue for the federal government. Did it work? Anyone? Anyone know the effects? It did not work, and the United States sank deeper into the Great Depression. Today we have a similar debate over this. Anyone know what this is? Class? Anyone? Anyone? Anyone seen this before? The Laffer Curve. Anyone know what this says? It says that at this point on the revenue curve, you will get exactly the same amount of revenue as at this point. This is very controversial. Does anyone know what Vice President Bush called this in 1980? Anyone? Something-d-o-o economics. “Voodoo” economics"
Ferris: [after the end credits] … You’re still here? It’s over!
“Why was I not made of stone like thee?”
They dissolve in sea water.
The president was behind it. The word “implicates” is used about 8000 times in 7 hours or so.
They come back for one more lesson from Mr. Feeny, and then they go meet the world.
Joan does something unusual because God told her to. Then she learns a valuable lesson.
It gets signed. In, you guessed it, 1776.
She lets go.
As they have done every night, they try (unsuccessfully) to take over the world.
They find Nemo.
He’s finds him and kills him. Again. Maybe for the third or fourth time.
1: Cipher is a bad guy, and Neo prepares to save the world.
2: A bunch of pseudo-intellectual bullshit happens.
3: See 2. Then he becomes Jesus or something.
Nuns know their way around a distributor cap.
Technically, it was blown up. 
The war on terror is already over. We lost.
No, she wasn’t ever in Molly Sudgen’s wedding, in fact has never met her, until the evening she killed her.
She marries Alistair, and her friend moves to Canada with the cop.
The humans are allowed to colonize Mars.
He had thought the ring was gold, but it was only brass, so that is why there were only 99 charges.
He marries them both, and they really do live happily ever after.
She injured herself while trying to kill her sister, so they could have beed friends all along.
WHAAAZZ IN DA BOXXXXX (me and my friends use this line alll the time)
You arrogant ass, you’ve killed us!
Remember, this is the story of how I ALMOST died.
Vanity. My favorite sin.
He suddenly and inexplicably escapes, or he doesn’t.