Opening Ceremonies, London 2012...what would you do?

[Tapioca_Dextrin]

cats and dogs living together, mass panic …

[Tristan]

@Bearflag70

Here’s a good theme…

“We used to own you (but you weren’t worth the fuss)”

As each nation enters the arena, the athletes walk under an archway. If the nation passing under the arch is a former British colony, a sign lights up on the arch that says, “PWNED” and midgets holding Union Jacks pop up on top of the arch and wave their flags.

Then Duran Duran plays Rio

Dammit people. I am tired of fighting this ignorance on my own.

Midgets is not correct.

The proper term is Cornish Game People.
I’m going to hell, aren’t I?

[TheLoadedDog]

@BrotherCadfael

Parade of athletes, bring in the flag, light the torch, the Queen declares the games open, call it a night.

The extravaganzas have gotten beyond ridiculous.

Indeed. I must admit I was awestruck by Barcelona’s effort, but in general, I love seeing the old film clips where a guy just walks up some stairs and simply dips the torch into the flame bowl. It would be great if London had the balls to do just that.

[Ximenean]

@hawthorne

Chas and Dave.

Somebody said that on the BBC live text commentary of the opening ceremony. Chas and Dave, party hats, and pass round the sausage rolls.

Me, I think they should have a giant laser writing Welcome to London on the moon.

[Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor]

@Tristan

Dammit people. I am tired of fighting this ignorance on my own.

Midgets is not correct.

The proper term is Cornish Game People.
I’m going to hell, aren’t I?

Oh, very nice.
<small applause>

I suggest something traditional.

Didn’t the Ancient Greeks begin with a sacrifice to the Gods?

That’s it! A nice Human Sacrifice.

Any particular pop star you’d like to get the chop?

[RandMcnally]

@tagos

The British Olympics will open with Queen Elizabeth 1 and 2 riding into the stadium on dinosaurs. Then Margaret Thatcher as Lady Godiva, but on a unicorn. At the climax the whole arena will be flooded and the Battle of Trafalgar re-enacted with Spitfire air support.

It’s going to be totally awesome.

Oh man, that’d be the coolest thing ever!

[Illuminatiprimus]

@Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor

Didn’t the Ancient Greeks begin with a sacrifice to the Gods?

That’s it! A nice Human Sacrifice.

I completely agree. Personally I think it would only be right and proper for the honour to go to someone who did such wonders for the UK, Margaret Thatcher.

That would give the whole country two reasons to celebrate during the game.

[elmwood]

• Bagpipes. Thousands and thousands of pipers.

• Football hooligan battle between Manchester United and Leeds United fans.

• When the U.S. athletes emerge into the stadium for the parade of nations, British naval officials will be on hand to impress them into service.

[Zebra]

In the center of the empty arean sits a blue Police box.
All the teams enter out of that.

[Troy_McClure_SF]

@mutantmoose

He said they’re gonna do something completely different

They’re gonna get Monty Python?

[LurkMeister]

I’m picturing a parade of John Cleese look-alikes demonstrating silly walks.

[Celyn]

@Illuminatiprimus

I completely agree. Personally I think it would only be right and proper for the honour to go to someone who did such wonders for the UK, Margaret Thatcher.

That would give the whole country two reasons to celebrate during the game.

Rejoice!

[Celyn]

And Boris Johnson should be allowed to enter the cycling events.

[ivan_astikov]

@Dewey Finn

How about 2,012 Morris dancers? Or more seriously, something about the Queen’s anniversary.

2,012 Morris Dancers versus 2,012 Krumpers in a old v new danceathon face-off competition, and you’ve got my vote!

[Bearflag70]

All the athletes come running into the stadium chasing a woman and man in skimpy undies as the Benny Hill song plays

[astro]

MP style drag races now an Olympic sport.

BTW *where * are they doing this? I thought London was pretty much 100% densely occupied and developed.

[don_t_ask]

London will show a replay of the Beijing opening ceremony using CGI to transform Beijing to London and the Chinese participants to English. While the world is watching the British Navy will sneak in and reclaim all the colonies.

[Tapioca_Dextrin]

Sometimes life is weirder than postings on the dope.

Olympics: Shipping forecast and rejigged anthem to kick off 2012

The shipping forecast, a new version of the national anthem sanctioned by the Queen and the most famous footballer on the planet will herald the start of the London Olympiad tomorrow when the capital briefly takes centre stage in Beijing’s Bird’s Nest stadium.

As China’s games officially draw to an end with a closing ceremony certain to be epic in scale and execution, London has just eight minutes to mark the official handover of the Olympic flag.

Organisers are pinning their hopes on a very British affair marked by an innovative score, a live performance of Led Zeppelin’s Whole Lotta Love, a double-decker bus and David Beckham to set the tone for 2012.

[Beware_of_Doug]

They have to work the ferris wheel in somehow. Maybe light fireworks on it and let it free-roll into the stadium.

[Beware_of_Doug]

Oh, and 2,012 Lisas.

Hamster Edit