Total hijack:
Oh, my gosh, my friends and I used to scour the back pages of Popular Science and send in for cheap pamphlets with titles like Hypnotism Made Easy, YOU Can Make This Phonograph, The Ancient Art of Tibetan Self-Defense, Make Explosives From Ordinary Ingredients, and Make Fireworks At Home (which I did, for years…)
And Forbidden Secrets of Miiinnndd Control! (with a lino cut of a curvy woman who was way too old for us… but, maybe not, if we understood Miiinnndd Control…)
This, although I wonder if the new co-worker is possibly from another country or culture? And has he done things like this to other colleagues?
Give me your backpack. And these are not the droids you’re looking for.
This is the same impression I had. I always call it dope addict mentality. Always pushing for any weakness they can find.
I see votes for sociopathy and votes for Asperger’s. Aren’t these conditions almost opposite to each other in many ways?
My vote: Sociopath.
In what culture is that appropriate behavior? It sounds like the kind of legend one would encounter in 19th century explorer’s logs, always told not just about Those Other People but about The People Who Live Beyond Those Other People.
I keep coming back to this thread, hoping that Patx2 will keep us updated on any new behavior.
Or even any helpful comments made by her husband’s coworkers (“Oh, man, I know what you mean. He wanted me to give him this old #2 pencil, and keeps staring at it whenever I’m using it. I take it with me to lunch, now.”)
They might be opposite in cause, but there’s some overlap in the signs they give off to the rest of us.
FWIW, I’d bet on your vote. Mostly because somebody with Asberger-ish behaviors that bad wouldn’t make it through the interview. A sociopath would know when to hide his cards and when to show them.
Although without knowing more about the job and the company, we can’t know how carefully they’re interviewing for anything other than a 95+ degree body temperature and a stated willingness to show up most days.
Sounds to me like the new guy has a sense of humor, because the whole thing sounded like he was trying to be funny and your husband doesn’t know how to joke around.
Why is your husband bringing a backpack to work for anyway?
I know he’s not from a different country/culture. As far as whether he’s done this to other colleagues, I think this was a first at this job, we have no idea what his history is. Anyway, my husband had a conversation with his manager and told him if anything happens again he’s going to HR. The manager was glad to be in the loop, but then said to my husband, well before you go to HR if it happens let me know. My husband told him I will and I’ll be going to HR too. So, it sounds like the manager wants to be aware of the situation but may want to avoid an HR incident. I told my husband, just follow proper channels. No problem keeping your boss up to speed, but if it’s an HR issue that’s where it needs to be. There were no incidents yesterday. Ironically, my husband said every six months or so they have to spend time going over workplace harassment. He spent part of yesterday morning reviewing it. Newbie should’ve just gone through that since he was just brought on board.
What kind of work environment is this?
That’s what my original thought was, maybe he’s trying to joke around. I don’t know maybe that’s how it started, but where’s the joke in telling someone you should give me something that belongs to you? Especially when the person is only a coworker that you really don’t even know yet,let alone the fact, that is the extent of their relationship, coworkers. Then it just got awkward, bizarre, inappropriate, choose your adjective because new guy was pretty hung up on it for awhile. Maybe that’s why new guy wanted the backpack to find out why he brings it to work. Perhaps his curiosity was getting the better of him 
.
Wow. How did this new hire make it through the hiring interviews?
Even if it’s a if it’s a joke, it’s not funny, it’s the disturbing sort of humor, like someone who muses out loud about having sex with your wife. The kind of coworker you want to stay away from.
I was homeschooled for most of my life, grew up with a lot of homeschoolers and attended a college where most students had been homeschooled. Most did not have an entitlement attitude at all.
Yes, I have had clients/patients like that too. But my first example patient also had some cool things going on with her illness. She once was talking a mile a minute in the lounge, with a circle of chairs and four cups of apple juice around her. I asked her what was going on, she got very irate. I shouldn’t interrupt her! She was having juice with John Lennon, Jesus, and the Dalai Lama. Our housekeeper passing by mentioned the Dalai Lama was still alive, then she stage whispered “Don’t hurt his feelings!”
Sorry for the hijack.
Well of course the Dali Lama is still alive. The Dali Lama is always alive. As soon as he dies, he’s replaced/reincarnated, and so there’s still a Dali Lama.
Seriously? Briefcases are soooo 1985. LOL! Most of my coworkers have either a large rolling case, or a leather backpack to carry their laptop and any files, lunch, etc.
I wasn’t meaning to disparage all homeschooled kids. Many have families who make sure that the kids have a broad social life and wide range of exposure to interests.
But there are some who, through no fault of their own, grow up heavily isolated and catered to. If they are naturally empathetic, there is no harm there, just occasional awkwardness as they scope out life outside their families.
Of course, that guess came before I realized this guy is in his 30’s. Yikes.
Predatory and manipulative people (whether they’re aspies, narcissists, sociopaths, borderline, just assholes without a diagnosable mental disorder, or something else) tend to take advantage of other people’s benefit of the doubt as part of their schemes. They will feign ignorance of a social convention, or retreat behind ‘I’m just joking’.Since a lot of people on the autism spectrum actually don’t understand social conventions, their behavior will end up being just like someone pretending not to understand social conventions for their own benefit. So it’s not at all surprising that both end up on the list.
I think that trying to diagnose a condition in a case like this is bad practice; it contributes to the stigma about mental illness, but doesn’t actually help understand the situation. The behavior is unsettling, it’s better to worry about the behavior instead of trying to stick a diagnosis on someone that may not actually fit, doesn’t help, and may hurt.
Breaking social norms to try to manipulate, insult, or otherwise hurt someone, then claiming it was all just a joke and that the victim must just be a stick in the mud who doesn’t understand humor is also a common tactic for predatory and/or manipulative people, FYI.
Who said anything about a briefcase? You are making things up and then arguing about them.
Why do you need to bring a backpack? This isn’t school, this isn’t play-time, it is work. If you have a laptop and want to put it in a laptop case, that’s fine, but this was a backpack. I think this might be the reason the new guy was poking fun at it, because it was unusual to bring a backpack to an office unless you are a school intern.
I work for one of the 10 largest companies in the US, at corporate headquarters. At least here, it is not unusual at all to use a backpack. I would guess that just as many people use backpacks (specially made for laptops more often than not) than do traditional laptop cases. It is also not a particularly young workforce.