Orgasms on the Mercalli Scale

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I am such a guy who thinks about female orgasms from time to time, and I hear about them from other guys in spots, and in fact I am once present when a female orgasm occurs, but this is so long ago it is practically ancient history.

The historic orgasm I attend personally is followed by some afterglow, as I remember, and this is accompanied by a cigarette, and after the cigarette the doll goes to sleep, as the excitement wears her out more than somewhat.

So I pick up a book, as I am a great hand at reading, as long as the words are not too long, and the printing of these words is done with a large typeface.

Now this book concerns geology, which is an interesting science, as science goes, and I commence reading about earthquakes. I get to the part where earthquakes are measured, which is by way of the Modified Mercalli scale, named after a guy by the name of Mercalli, who is quite a hand at measuring things, especially earthquakes.

The writer of this geology book shows the Mercalli scale in a diagram, or some such, and I am astonished to discover this scale is readily applicable to all the female orgasms which various parties inform me they have witnessed, and which I envy more than somewhat.

But here it is, and to demonstrate that I am an honest guy, I post these findings, as follows:
Magnitude
Of Orgasm/Probable Effects

*01. Not felt by people. Doors may swing slightly.

  1. Detectable indoors. Hanging objects may swing.

  2. Vibrations similar to those produced by a passing vehicle.

  3. Detectable outdoors. Crockery may clink.

  4. Buildings tremble. Trees and bushes shake.

  5. Plaster cracks, and some bits may fall.

  6. Bricks and stones are dislodged.

  7. Damage to buildings is considerable.

  8. Ground cracks conspicuously. Some buildings collapse.

  9. Landslides occur. Many buildings are destroyed.

  10. Large sea waves develop. Few buildings remain standing.

  11. Rivers are deflected. Mayhem is total. Everything collapses.*
    Now I do not say that any guy tells me he witnesses a number twelve, or even number eleven, but I hear of a ten which occurs, and various nines and eights, and I am most envious of these high digits, since the orgasm I attend myself registers one, and this is without the doors swinging.

I am greatly interested in these matters, as I say, and I am requesting various dolls here and there to confirm whether they ever experience an orgasm which is high in the paint cards, or maybe deny it, as I am never sure when some guys are straight about relating their experiences, and maybe their remarks are the phonus bolonus, at that.

2

There are simple things which one might do to accomplish numbers higher than 1.

In order to accomplish a 4, one must merely make the “building” in question a camper. Thus, the movement will easily be detectable outdoors. Placing crockery on shelves in the camper may not be reccomended.

For a 6 or a 7, there need only be a poorly built building.

To acheive an 8, one need only have evergy. I’ve destroyed a bedroom and a kitchen and a bathroom, but never had the energy to take out a whole building.

Keep practicing. If you figure how to do an 11 or 12, tell me. Always wanted to change the course of a river.

3

Detectable Outdoors. Does that include the screaming?

Where would “Breaking the Furniture” go?

#6 can be accomplished by the headboard banging into the wall.

#8 can be accomplished when, in the throes of passion, you manage to pull the I-bolts out of the wall and leave not-so-small holes there.

4

Once, a young man and I went into the bathroom in a motel room during a party in said room and I managed to rip the towel bar off the wall whilst using it for leverage. I suppose that counts as an 8. :smiley: The other partygoers were rather curious as to the sounds of destruction they had heard, but I guess none of them wanted to knock on the door to find out, because we were able to finish uninterrupted.

5

There ya go, Nostradamus.

Geobabe and I have expereinced 8. :smiley:

Although I think I can claim a 12 if I fudge it. See, we were on this antique wooden bed and things got kinda rowdy, and, well, the slats that should have been under the springs weren’t.

Boom Crash

Bed collapsed. Startled, I snapped my arm out for something to grab onto. Crash One broken lamp and knocked over nightstand, contents scattered all over the place.

The collapsing bed’s headboard hit the wall, making two pictures fall off, sliding to the floor with a crash of glass.

We were laughuing so hard we couldn’t answer the banging on the door.

6

Don’t forget the Magic 13, which is when the orgasm is so powerful it causes the very fabric of space/time to tear.

Although methinks the scale should be altered to climax (no pun intended) at 69.

7

Why, it seems to me that some citizens on this thread do not take this Mercalli scale in any way seriously, what with these citizens claiming a six here, and a seven there, and maybe an eight, and Arden Ranger looking at a twelve, and I don’t know what else.

I do not consider a small matter such as a towel bar deserves an eight, as in our house a towel bar breaks when a towel is placed on the towel bar, although I am impressed by the I-bolts, and also the small holes. Also, screaming does not count, unless glass is shattered, and this glass is a block away, or maybe two blocks.

Furthermore, the twelve is certainly phoney, since I do not see any mention of a river here, and although there is mayhem it is by no means total.

If any parties here attempt a twelve, or even eleven, kindly despatch an email with a warning, as I will know to keep an eye out for a tidal wave or two which engulfs Europe, and especially the British Isles.

Finally, I wish to state most clearly that I am very jealous of such attainments, and I will put in a little practice at loving so my ratings improve from a miserable one, to maybe one and a half, or hopefully a two.

8

Hey now.

I did say I would have to fudge. But everything in the nearby vicinity did collapse. Bed, night table, pictures, us into giggles.

9

Nostradamus, you clearly are using towel bars of a cheap and inferior construction and/or installation. I assure you, this towel bar of which I speak was quite firmly affixed to the wall, and I did rip it clean off, such was the strength of my passion.

That’s my story and I’m stickin’ to it. :smiley:

[sub]Hey, Arden, are you following me around, or I you?[/sub]

10

Also, friend Nostradamus, I hasten to remind you that I am in fact a geologist, so I know what I’m talking about. So there.

11

So, nayh :stuck_out_tongue:

You tell him, Geobabe.

[sub]I dunno. Let me check my list of stalkees for the night… nope. Seems to by YOU that is following ME.grin Tomorrow is ‘Stalk Geobabe Night’[/sub]

12

And by the way, why is it that men can only orgasm once while women never have them?

13

Speak for yourself, pal… :smiley:

I can attest to having created a couple of 5’s and at least one 6 (it was an old house!)

14

Uhm, yes, I’d like a number 12, please, for here, hold the mayhem. And supersize it.

15

Well, I sometimes wonder what the Geo in Geobabe stands for, and I conclude it is short for Geotaxis, which is the movement of an orgasm in response to the stimulus of gravity.

I read of your incident with the towel bar, and I figure you recall this incident when you name yourself, as the towel bar is certainly unstable, and falls due to this gravity of which I speak, rather than the exertions of you and your friend, although I do not dispute an orgasm occurs at this time.

16

Why, I now discover that Geotaxis is the movement of an organism in response to the stimulus of gravity, so my previous post can safely be ignored. :slight_smile:

17

I, for one, can attest to male-multiples, having once had five in rapid succession (30 minutes.)

I’d suspect that normal, vigorous sexual affairs could bring about signs of orgasms on a scale of 4-6 (I know I’ve induced shaking bush and plastering cracks) but to reach 7+,* wow*, you’d really have to be rocking the house!

18

Five in 30 minutes for guy?

Christ. Could you walk afterwards?

19

thinksnow, baby, we need to talk. Privately. Right now.

20

Oh, sure. The only reason we had to stop was because we both had a class to get to (mid-terms, dontchaknow.) I should probably note that that was a one-time thing. Nowadays I only have two or three over half-an-hour to an hour-and-a-half. :frowning: