Orgasms: Which is better... Male or Female?

Great Debates
21

Very good response.

My only argument might be the idea of faking orgasms. It seems a much more popular practice with women, rather then men. I understand the reasons for this may be many, but I can see a situation where it’s just not happening for the woman, so she fakes it to get the whole mess over with and spare the guy’s feelings. I argue that you don’t see men doing this a whole lot, because it’s just not that hard to achieve an orgasm… even if the sex isn’t all that great, usually think a couple happy thoughts and–voilá!

22

I guess it depends on how you’re viewing it. It’s probably safe to say that nearly all orgasms are clitoral, but there are reportedly women who can have an orgasm through nipple stimulation alone, or even just by thinking about it really hard :eek:.

From my selective experience, clitoral stimulation always leads to an orgasm, whereas vaginal (alone) doesn’t. However, there is definately a difference in type or intensity of orgasm depending on the combinations of stimulus.

For example, ranking my girlfriend’s orgasms from lowest to highest intensity based on what I’m doing at the time (probable TMI):

rubbing her clitoris with my finger
rubbing her clitoris / rimming
rubbing her clitoris / g-spot
oral
oral / fingering her butt (sorry, can’t think of a more genteel way of saying that)
oral / gspot
penetrative sex with clitoral stimulation

Of course, the the intensity of any given thing can change depending on what came before it, how many orgasms she’s already had, etc.

And aside form intensity, the experience of each is different, especially the build-up. If we’re doing something that just focuses on her clitoris or vagina, her orgasm is like a sudden drop after climbing a steep hill. There’s a rising level of tension in her body, and all of her muscles tighten, until it suddenly bursts over her and all of that energy is released.

It’s just the opposite if we’re doing something where I’m playing with her butt. Instead of the tension, there’s a long, slow relaxation. It’s like she sinks in to an orgasm. These seem to be stronger, but at a deeper level. There isn’t as much of the outward display as there is with her other orgasms. It seems almost meditative and inward as opposed to explosive and outward.

So, yeah, I’m gonna go with saying girl’s get the better end of the deal. More types, more options, more intensity, more actual orgasms.

Although I have absolutely no complaints about that.

23

Not that I can cite it, but I would suspect the reasons for that are cultural. Sex ‘ends’ when the man gets off, and whether or not it’s true that it’s harder for women to reach orgasm, that’s probably the widespread belief is that it’s harder and more complicated (see also: Clerks.). There might be some truth to the last point, but I couldn’t say.

24

I’m one of those women who can achieve orgasm by thought alone. I have been unable to find any scientific literature on how or why this can occur. I think part of it may be that there is no official term for it, but I have been looking and I haven’t seen anything.

The official stance is that all female orgasms are clitoral. They say that vaginal intercourse feels good for some women because their nerve endings extend into the vagina and can be stimulated that way. However, if this is true, then why do some women report vaginal and clitoral orgasms as being very different from each other? Along those lines, if all orgasms arise from the penis, than how can some men orgasm without their penes being stimulated? Why is it that some men report different orgasms depending on how/where they are stimulated?

Women don’t fake it in every culture. In some cultures, the idea of women faking an orgasm is laughable. Among the Mangaian, a South Pacific tribe, women are brought to orgasm at least three times before the man allows himself to ejaculate. A lot of women fake it in our culture because, like Marley23 noted, sex is centered around the male orgasm. Most of the women who report faking orgasms do it for the benefit of their partner.

25

I don’t know if popular is the word you want to use there.

Like others have said, sex in our culture has traditionally been defined around the male experience. Wasn’t it once thought that an orgasm was a sign of something wrong with a woman? I keep reading that an extraordinarily large number of women have never had, or don’t regularly experience, an orgasm. I don’t know whether that says that most guys really suck at pleasing women, or that women have only recently been allowed (culturally speaking) to own their sexuality.

I can’t say why women would fake, although the consensus seems to be to spare the guy’s feelings. As a guy, I’d much rather know that whatever I was doing wasn’t doing it for my paramour so I could get it right the next time.

26

Awesome. Where else but here can you make a passing reference to mental orgasming ability, and within hours, someone shows up who can actually do it. May I ask, how do you ever get anything done?

You’re right, it’s more complicated than that. In general though, I thought most women reported that they needed clitoral stimulation to have an orgasm. As a friend once put it about a lackluster former boyfriend, “He’s the type of guy who thinks ‘clitoris’ was the name of a dinosaur”.

As much as our culture talks about sex, you rarely hear about the clitoris. It was certainly never mentioned in any sex ed class I took. I, like all the other guys I knew, thought women just got off on being penetrated. Thankfully, an early girlfriend set me straight. Maybe if more guys learned that pleasure for a woman does not revolve around the magic touch of the penis, there would be more women having orgasms.

Anyway, in my earlier post, I was trying to say that there are definately different types of orgasms, but that most of the ones I was familiar with were tied in to the clitoris. I think it would be more accurate to say that all orgasms are mental.

27

It’s been a while since I studied this subject, so I went to my school library and did some research there. I also went to the book store and looked up “orgasms” in the Biology of Human Sexuality text I used for my UC Bio class. I found that females take about the same time as males to reach orgasm through masturbation - an average of 4 minutes. I also found that orgasm is quite a controversial subject and that a lot of the recent texts will mention various arguments put forth by different researchers.

Multiple orgasms in women were first reported by Kinsey in 1953 and was met with shock and denial. People said that those women must be sluts or nymphos. Masters and Johnson confirmed his findings in 1966 and found that all women are biologically capable of multiple orgasms. The text also describes multiple orgasms in men, saying that often men who have multiple orgasms will have dry orgasms before, after, or during ejaculatory orgasms. Right now, there is no way of knowing if all men are capable of multiple orgasms or only a few. There haven’t been many studies done on the subject.

Signmund Freud first proposed the difference between vaginal and clitorial orgasms. He also said that clitoral orgasms were immature compared to vaginal orgasms. Masters and Johnson (1966) monitored physiological responses to sexual stimulation and found that the same biological events follow no matter how orgasm is achieved. They then declared that there is only one type of orgasm, clitoral. However, in 1972, Singer and Singer declared that females have three types of orgasm: vulval, uterine, and blended. According to the Singers, vulval is the orgasm described by Masters and Johnson. Uterine does not involve vulval contractions but rather occurs in response to the penis thrusting against the cervix. This orgasm is accompanied by a certain pattern of breathing – deep breaths, gulping air, etc. While the blended is a combination of the two. This is still debated, as is the existence of the G-spot.

28

. . . I’m right here by the window gazing at the garden and having a lovely cup of tea and pretending that no one has brought me into this conversation. You don’t take sugar, do you?

29

As a woman, there is no doubt in my mind that there are physically different types of orgasms, depending on what is being stimulated. In addition, there are different intensities of orgasms, depending on the situation.

30

Minor note on “rimming”: it is oral stimulation of the anus, and has nothing to do with the clitoris.

31

Having never had a female orgasm, I have no idea. I know Razorette enjoys hers a lot, and mine are lots of fun, too. We never really talked about it that much – not into oral sex, I guess.

32

Well, I can’t speak directly to female orgasms (Although I’ve seen them in my partner), but I can tell you that my male orgasm isn’t just confined to the genatalia. It is a whole body experience usually. And I pretty much loose contact with the normal world when I have an intense orgasm. This happens about 1/2 the time. On the lower end of the scale, it is really just groin stuff.

As a side note, I do have a series of orgasms on the good days…a reoccurring series of intense events that may be stronger than the original. But this only started after I was about 35…I’m 63 now and it just seems to get better.

Sex is a everending amazing thing. wow!

33

Wait! I’ve been doing what now?

No, just kidding. I know what rimming is.

I’m guessing this was for me. The slash “/” marks in my scale above meant “with”, not “or”. So, all of the activities above started with clitoral stimulation as a base and included the activity listed next to it.

34

Great, I’m finally way above average in something, and what does it turn out to be? :rolleyes:

35

To travel hopefully is better than to arrive, young padawan.