I want you to know if I land the gig I will remember who my friends are.
Linky
Friends?
You may not want to disqualify yourself from the get go by spelling the company name wrong though.
Let me help:
My bologna has a first name, it’s O S C A R
My bologna has a second name it’s M A Y E R
Oh, I love to eat it every day
And if you ask me why I’ll say
Cuz Oscar Mayer has a way
with B O L O G N A
Oh, and be sure to mention their tagline: “People Killing Pigs… For People”
No, that was just something we’d slip onto their ads before they approved them. Almost as funny as the fact that they call their logo “The Rhombus”… they were one of our advertising clients, and a conference room full of guys in suits would say the word “rhombus” so often that we were trying not to giggle.
But one of our interns got hired to drive a Weinermobile! He said most of the job was driving to small town fairs and being a cheerleader. Perfect for him, as he also jumped around on football weekends as an Official Bucky Badger mascot.
Lemme see if I have this right…
“My bologna has a first name, it’s O S K A R
My bologna has a second name it’s M E Y E R”
Little known facts about the Weinermobile:
The Weinermobile is the greatest vehicle ever invented, or that will ever be invented.
Spotting the Weinermobile in the wild (on the road, not in a show) will bring good luck for one year.
It is a sacred duty to be the custodian of the Weinermobile. Drivers are not permitted to eat hamburgers while in charge of the WM.
A child born deaf and blind wandered into the highway and was accidentally run in to by the Weinermobile. From then on, he was able to see and hear! True story.
It was in town a couple of weeks ago, and I saw it in a grocery store parking lot (my wife had spotted it in a different grocery store parking lot). Does that count?
Yep.
Will you buy a lottery ticket for me?
It’s good to be the big wiener in a small town.
I think the job should go only to some guy named Frank.
mmm
Is this a Kosher gig?
Well, then, I’ve got a couple of decades of luck saved up. My classroom used to look over a fenced car lot full of trucks that needed to be fixed… including a dozen or so Wienermobiles. The wienies would rotate as they got fixed, and one day a tiny one showed up! They’d converted a Mini-Cooper, putting a smaller “wienie” on top of it. The license plate said “LIL LINK”.
I want one!
I knew Oscar Mayer.
(Really)
I wonder how often someone at Oscar Mayer gets in trouble with HR about asking if anyone wants to “drive the Wienermobile.”
I once saw the Wisconsin Weintermobile in the parking lot of the Hackensack NJ Hertz Rent-A-Car. As I was walking around it, a young dude walk out of the Hertz, got in the Weintermobile and drove off.
I’ve often wondered what that was all about.
While I haven’t worked with Oscar Meyer, I have worked with other companies that have restrictions on what you can do with their branded equipment. Probably not allowed to take it to buy beer because it’s not good for the image to see it in the parking lot of a package store; however, if they got a case in a rental car, they could pull a few bottles from back storage of the Weinermobile to take up to their hotel room each night. Might only be allowed to drive x miles out of the way, but he wanted to have dinner with his family since he was, say, 30 miles from where their event-of-the-day was.
Perhaps he had a date and would be embarrassed to pick her up in the wienermobile. I sure as hell would be.
I would totally apply for that job but I don’t know if I could cut the mustard.