Does your spouse (or significant other) have any truly weird behavior or habits? Mine likes to clean my ears with Q-tips. She clicks her tongue, chortles, and grins as searches for large chucks of earwax and genuinely enjoys herself. Weird, man, weird. I don’t really mind, after all is said and done, I’ll end up with clean ears.
Who can outdo that for weirdness?
In the same vein, I had an ex who liked to shave me (my FACE, you perverts!). Did a pretty good job of it, too.
I have to confess that I do the ear cleaning thing to my husband.
I’ll offer some explanation for my behavior in the hopes that you may understand your wife’s behavior better. Of course I am not denying that despite the explanation it is still weird.
When I was very young, my mother would lay my head on her lap and clean my ears while stroking my hair or nurturing in some other way. I remember feeling so relaxed and loved when she did this. I think I associate this ear-cleaning with love/affection and find myself absently (or very purposely) doing this to my husbands ears.
It drives my husband crazy but he tolerates it.
Of course, I may just be de-evolving and returning to the grooming habits of my earliest ancestors.
Off to MPSIMS.
Try these threads - they may help:
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=35703
&
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=31100
I searched on “q-tip orgasm” in the seach function for keywords - some others came up too, that may be of relevance if you want to do your own search (I admit it, I’m sad, I could still remember the title of the mpsims one from august…)
I have an obssesion of popping all of my husbands pimples. I know it is disgusting, and I would never do it to any one else. But I get such satisfaction by watching the pimple bust.
He has a thing with playing with what little callouses that are on my feet. I moisturize my feet every day. At it totally ticks me off when he deliberatly plays with what callouses I might have. He always know where they are too. grrrr.
p.s. I know we are weird…
Yep, my wife does the same thing. Only on my back, though, and usually after sex, when I’d let her do anything (plus, all my pores are open). It hurts, but I kind of like it…
Well…I do clean Mr. Sunshine’s ears, and cut his toenails.
Be he does his own weird thing. He never wears pants.
Well, ok, he wears pants when he goes outside the house, but when he comes inside, whoosh, the pants come right off.
The problem is that he keeps LOTS of stuff in his pockets. Wallet, keys, change, wad of cash (no actual money goes in the wallet), comb, toothbrush, toothpaste, receipts, sunglasses, rocks, kitchen sink, space shuttle, you name it. If he comes across it during his day, it goes in the pockets.
So when he sits down on the couch, either stuff falls out or he has George syndrome where one butt cheek is higher than the other and sitting is uncomfortable. What’s Mr. Genius’s solution to this dilemma? Heaven forfend, we don’t unload the pockets…we just remove the pockets from our person by taking off the pants.
Thus, I have a half naked man sitting on my couch all the time…why am I complaining about this? Never mind! 
Mu husband does the no pants thing too. Only he walks around in only a t-shirt. I can’t stand it, all I can see is his lil’ peepee dangling below the shirt. Jeez! put on some underwear, or take off the shirt. No in betweens!!!
Hehehe… Funny thread!
My girlfriend likes holding my johnson in her hand when she’s falling asleep at night. I guess it soothes her and knocks her right out. Sometimes it’s tough getting it back from her without waking her up when I want to roll over. When I try to pull away from her, she starts reaching and grabbing for it in her sleep…
Lola does the pimple thing too, there’s nothing like almost being asleep and having someone dig into your back.
I’ll have to get back to y’all with the entire list…it’s a long one.
Mr. Miliana likes to lounge around the house in a T-shirt and pair of flannel pajama bottoms. Nothing wrong with that, right?
Except…half the time the T-shirt is on inside out and backwards, or the pajama bottoms have a strategic rip or worn spot that becomes a rip in the behind. :o
Fine and dandy for the occupants of the house - but he’ll wear this outfit to walk to the corner deli! He’ll even put on a ragged pair of slippers to make the trip.
Sometimes I take the trouble to point it out to him - his response is invariably, “who cares?” So I rarely bother.
And he has many more designer clothes than I!
Well, my BF likes to pop my zits too. It hurts like hell, but hey, whatever makes him happy. And I get the biggest thrill out of cutting his toenails. And I also enjoy digging out his ingrown hairs.
Also, we exchange clothes. Right now I’m wearing one of his shirts. Sometimes I’ll come home and he’s wearing my pants. Which is funny, because he’s a good foot taller than me, and his legs are MUCH longer than mine. I’m not entirely sure WHY this happens. I think it’s cuz we are both lazy, and it’s easier to just randomly grab some clothes.
OK, I see it like this… he’s a foot taller than you… so, he not going to wear your shirts, he can’t fit into your pants. So that pretty much leaves bra & panties. “I’ll take kinky men for $200, Alex.”
When I officiate ball games, I wear compressions pants. The problem I have with compression pants is that they cause me to get ingrown hairs. Yes, that’s right folks… My wife picks my ass.
Well, I was going to post about my husband’s pacing habit but it seems too normal against everything else I’ve read.
Does anyone else have a ‘cereal slurping’ S.O.?
No, but my husband has a different weird cereal habit. He can’t stand having his cereal get soggy, so he holds the bowl at an angle and pushes the cereal up towards the top, then gradually adds milk as he eats. We had to choose our china so he would be able to eat his cereal successfully…
Well, she married me, that covers weird behaviour and the fact that she’s still married to me covers weird habits. I mean, I wouldn’t do either one.
OK, after my stomach has settled from turning itself inside out because of your sick SO’s, I will relate a more mundane and non-physical story regarded my sweet little princess.
In the store, she NEVER takes the first item on a shelve. This makes sense for e.g. milk, where the Evil Store Idiots place the oldest ones up front, and the new stuff in the back. But come ON.
Toilet paper? Check, remove first 6, take last one.
Washing up liquid? Yeehaw. Back row. Will last an eon longer.
Tooth paste. Shampoo. Garbage bags.
SHE NEVER TAKES THE CLOSEST ITEM, PERIOD.
I love her to death, but this is one thing I will NEVER get.
Does anyone think we will ever meet tubagirl’s husband after this remark?