Count me in as one of those will die alone and be found long after the actual time of death with my face partially eaten by my cat.
What to do about it? Well at least there is a software dead man’s switch. The link doesn’t work right now as Arsware is changing hosts but it will come back up sooner or later. You can read about it via Google’s cache page. Basically it will post to message boards and delete files from your computer if you don’t check in after a set amount of time.
You may still be found partially eaten by your cat but at least they won’t find your freaky pr0n and your internet friends will know you kicked it.
Put me down for the “will die alone, neighborhood children will think I’m a zombie” category.
I’ve always been very shy, VERY geeky/nerdy (And proud of it, Damnit), and tend to have trouble trusting people. Add a more-than-healthy dose of misanthropy to that, and voila: instant recluse!
Though I think I’ll manage to avoid being discovered partially eaten weeks after my death…For starters, I don’t like having pets. And second of all, I plan on retiring to an abandoned missile silo somewhere in the Rockies. (I hear the property prices are good, not counting refurbishing) It’ll be pretty hard for someone to “Check up” on me there. Especially if I camoflage it.
'Doesn’t mean I won’t get lonely, though.
I already have a head start on the “packrat” angle (Though not much “trash” for me. I try and stay tidy.) And I DO collect weapons…replica weapons, at least. Mostly for financial, rather than moral, reasons.
I almost accepted a job as the planning director for Gallatin, until I found out none of the last ten planning directors stayed for more than a year.
As for my potential isolation … well, I’m one of those romantically challenged single guys, too. I live alone in a big house with a pool; I thought “if my married peers can enjoy a house with a yard, dang it all, so should I!” My neighbors are assured I’m not a child molester or otherwise a social outcast.
For a while, I was absolutely terrified that I’d be alone come my 40th birthday or so. 'Rents are in their early 70s, and they’re both aging fast. No brothers or sisters. I’m not super-close with my other relatives, not because of any sort of mutual hostility, but because we were never a big huggie-huggie-kissie-kissie extended family. My parents are my world.
A few months ago, an Oprah-ish event happened. My birth mother found me. Oh, yeah … she went on to marry my birth father, so I’ve got two brothers and a sister. Full brothers. Full sister. REAL SIBLINGS, that look and think like me.
I’m not so scared anymore. I always knew I was adopted, but I’m still sorting out the “elmwood has two mommies” thing. A reunion is in the works.
Otherwise, I’m still looking for Ms Right. I’ve got my two dogs. I work a lot.
No pets, no guns, no newspapers, but nevertheless, I feel that I’m another future nutty-recluse-in-cluttered-house. Well, the cluttered house isn’t exactly “future,” it’s more “now”. My mother always told me that I’d grow up to be a Colyer Brother. And I’m already nuts. But I’m not an actual recluse as long as I have a job. Am I?
I’m probably not the best person to be giving advice, and I can’t claim to be in the position many of you are describing, but the best advice I ever received was from a friend who told me… “If you are unhappy, for God’s sake stop sitting on your arse and do something about it! That way, at least you can look back with no regrets however things turn out.”
At one time in my life that really helped. I sat down and made out a list of all the things bothering me and one by one addressed them in the best way I could.
Obviously, it is not easy to meet new friends or partners, and the sad fact is it is usually the shy or quiet people who need them most, but that doesn’t mean you can’t put yourself in the best position to try! If you like reading, why not spend the afternoon reading in the park or at the local library with a book? You never know who you might meet reaching for the same book, or who might trip over you sitting in the shade reading. If you feel unfit and bored, why not join the local gym or athletics club? That way you can kill two birds with one stone by getting the exercise, killing time doing something positive, and getting the added chance of meeting new and exciting people. Dammit, people! Look at all the dopers posting here in a similar situation. If you all went out at once you’d meet each other!
Oh, and in my experience, on the relationship front it’s best just to get on with your life, keep positive and see what comes your way. You never seem to find anyone while you’re looking, but the moment you’re not thinking about it…
You are thinking too far south. Try Quebec, they have nice cold winters for you.
Jin,
Let me see, [sub][mutter], San Jose, Toronto, Boston, Glasgow[/mutter][/sub] no, it doesn’t look like I will make it to Houston, or even Texas, any time soon. But if that changes I will be more than happy to take you up on that cup of tea. I would never turn down the chance to spend time with a lovely young woman.
As for everyone else here, I am not very different from you, so I make myself do things. Like going on trips and to conventions. I know it is hard, I would rather sit here reading messages and playing games, but if you are not growing, you are dying. And there is already too much death in this world.
Ok folks, get off the pity-party. There are too many actual people in the world that could use it. There is not a single one of you that I wouldn’t talk to on the phone if you want to call email me and I’ll send you the number.
You are alone because you chose to be that way. Any one on the face of the earth can make that same decision, even me. I could easily fit into your cast. But I will not. Life is too short, too many things to do, to see, to experience and too many people to discover, good and bad. So you make your own choice, live with it, and don’t expect tears from the rest of the world. So you are shy, send an email to someone, explain that to them and let them help you. I have family, but I too chose to have my alone time, that doesn’t make you a recluse, that simply means that there are times when you enjoy your hobbies and environment alone. It would probably be a better world if more people had downtime alone.
So don’t say that you don’t have anyone to hang with or talk to, cause this is Dopercity and there are plenty of dopers that would talk to you any time, day or night.
ultress– thank you for your rude & unsympathetic remarks.
Your “pull yourselves up by your own bootstraps” viewpoint couldn’t possibly have ever been made to any of us before. :rolleyes:
But, I think we’ve got more going here than “shyness”.
In my case, a crippling inability to trust or have faith in, my fellow Man.
But I suspect that the term “clinically depressed” could apply to many people in this thread. Myself included.
Hey, everybody! Watch our “hero” ultress react to the term clinical depression with the response: “But why don’t you just cheer up?”
Rude? Unsypathetic? Did we both read the same post?
ultress just offered her phone number to anyone who needed a friend. She’s trying to help. So sorry that you don’t like her methods or her outlook on life.
I appreciate Ultress’s kind offer. However, I am also bugged by some of her statements:
(We are living with our choices, and also the choices of others, and I don’t see anyone here expecting tears from anyone else.)
Ultress, it is really sweet of you to offer friendship to anyone on this message board, but your post has an air of someone saying “Snap out of it! Lighten up! Be like me! If I can do it, so can you!” which is unavoidably nauseating to some. It really isn’t like we haven’t heard this kind of thing before from people who are well-meaning but ultimately don’t know what the hell they are talking about. Stick with the offer of friendship; hold the judgment, please.
Don’t assume that your emotional/psychological constitution is of your own making. If it makes you happy, consider it a blessing, not an achievement.
