Swampbear used to work in a Noodle Mine until he invented Pot Noodle. For which service he has been banned from all decent restaurants everywhere. Forever.
**Rayh ** licks the merchandise in Walmart when no one is looking.
CairoCamel is a professional camel-racer. She has won so often that she now races blindfold in an attempt to make it a challenge.
Malacandra will sneak in your house and rearrange all your furniture in an ugly manner, take pictures of it and show 'em to your neighbors so they think you have no taste.
swapmbear has 37 secret internet identities he uses in chat rooms, dating sites, message boards (hmm, makes you wonder…) and even those ‘dating for married folks’ sites.
His favorite secret identity is some guy named Malacandra .
Mr Bus Guy swears that drinking a quart of diluted bacon fat twice a day is the secret to eternal youth.
swampbear thinks that the warning labels on hair dryers to “not use while sleeping” are sagely advice, written long ago by the aliens that invented tidy-whities.
Shecky is the world’s least caught serial killer. But he only kills other serial killers & mass murderers, so that’s all right.
Annie-Xmas is the one who’s really responsible for the Year without Santa Claus.
Elendil’s Heir was once eaten by giant centipede, then excreted, with the only permanant being the the loss of all fingernails.
Reminder: these are supposed to be outrageous lies. 
Only for cats & dogs, of course.
Regellag has an enormous member, and he once beat Jackie Mason into a coma with it.
Daithi Lacha is the reason behind the postage increase due to her constant rolling around on unused postage stamps and only using what sticks.
Shecky is Bill Gates’ and Barry White’s “love clone.”
photopat insists on drying her clothes one piece at a time on the delicate cycle. People in laundromats everywhere hate photopat for this reason.
Swampbear would be mistaken for his usernamesake more often, but he smells much, much worse than the real thing.
Elendil’s Heir isn’t.
rayh once ate a whole six-gallon tub of shaing cream, while shaving with whipped cream.
Regallag_The_Axe drinks liquid trout everyday as part of a special high-fish diet.
Shecky believes in the Tooth Fairy and Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny!