Outrageous lies about the previous poster.

Half right. All the Sindy dolls I own are lifesized.

chowder heard as a youngster that it is impossible to lick your own elbow. Daily he tries to prove this wrong, but without significant success.

Malacandra insists on washing all the dishes in any restaurant he goes to before eating so that he’ll know his fork is clean.

Swampbear has a tattoo of upholstery on his left shoulder. His grandmother was the second gunman on the grassy knoll.

CairoCarol can not stand the sensation of cotton against her skin and thus wears clothing made entirely out of stitched together squirrel pelts and tree bark.

Lord Il Palazzo has been banned from all 50 state capitols of the USA and select city halls in major cities.

swampbear is in ur fridge, stealin’ ur foodz.

In her spare time, hocow preforms neurosurgery on underprivileged clowns. If her mistakes ever cause a clown to go crazy, she never says a word.

That’s funny. The maintenance guy at my job is a part-time clown on the weekends.

Anyways, Lakai was my first patient. Can you tell?

Lakai has a thriving black-mail operation running that targets CEOs who “reinvent the wheel”, lack “forward thinking vision” and no "proactivity. He’s quite wealthy, you know.

hocow is deathly afraid of Avon products and underarm deodorant

MonkeyMensch has a mailbox made entirely out of vintage coke cans.

swampbear invented the submarine periscope in 1927 in conjunction with Alphonse Q. Periscope. swampbear is still bitter that Alphonse got to name their invention.

Lord il Palazzo has, in a closely-guarded warehouse, scratch-and-sniff swatches of the underwear of every person with whom he’s ever had sex.

Elendil’s Heir was once an Olympic 100m sprint trialist, but was disqualified for running sideways. He maintains to this day that nothing in the rules prohibited his technique, and his disgruntlement is apparent.

Malacandra invented the candalabra and the Macadamia nut.

Annie X-mas, being one herself, knows all about nuts.

Elendil’s Heir was once cited in New Jersey for abusing a dead deer with a rebuilt 1920’s Style Death Ray.

‘Culinary delights’ does not mean what Inigo Montoya thinks it does, and in a related story, is no longer welcome at Red Lobster.

RedswinglineOne once shot out his own eyeball with a Red Ryder BB gun. Then the kileld Santa in vengeance and ate his liver. Christmas has never quite been the same.

Smiling Bandit is closely related to raccoons

smiling bandit is not really smiling. When he was an infant, during a particularly potent spell of gas, his face mysteriously froze and has not relaxed since.