Elucidator believes all creation exists in a dream being dreamt by a high-on-opium-and-sugar-cookies Samuel Taylor Coleridge, with the exception of Arizona, California, and the Philippines where people have free will.
Sampiro gives anti-evolution speeches at colleges, using himself as an example: “Hey, don’t you think I would have evolved if it were possible?”
I suppose it shouldn’t surprise anyone that the worlds ugliest wombat would prefer to be invisible.
“Prefer”? You mean I have a choice? 
Elucidator once nearly drowned trying to argue his way out of a wet paper bag. He only tried it once. In 1960. (you know the rest)
Invisible Wombat’s real identity is as the giant inflatable Godzilla perched on the roof of the local Nissan dealership.
El_Kabong is personally responsible for all the times Dirty Dancing keeps being shown on cable tv channels.
Swampbear has had sex with every woman on the planet, but he knows gentleman tell no tales.
Autolycus was surprised to discover not all people have sex with their favorite utensils.
TokyoPlayer was surprised to discover that having a picture of someone on his computer and then licking the monitor, doesn’t count as sex.
On August 14th, 2013, rayh will be a tabloid front-page exclusive. Man mysteriously fathers 245 children with online harem of unknowing porn stars.: “I thought just licking their pictures on my computer screen was harmless. How am I supposed to pay child support for 245??”
It doesn’t? :smack: Aah, it it too late to revise my count in the How Many People You’ve Had Sex With thread?
ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies got the idea of cooking from Scratch.
Tokyo Player was a very, very early pioneer of Trip Hop/Acid Rap, releasing his first album “Street Grime” under the nom de guerre ‘Godfather Bastard’ in 1923. While critics were unable to appreciate the depth and breadth of his musical vision, he quickly became, and still remains, remains a cult figure in Kyrgyzstan where he continues to write and produce cutting edge urban music distinguished by the dirtiest basslines in the Northern Hempisphere. He is 127 years young and recently entered into his seventeenth marriage with a 21 year old stripper called Crystal Chandelier.
George Kaplin believes he is a reincarnation of Woodrow Wilson and is determined to get the US to join the League of Nations this time around.
swampbear inherited a priceless Picasso but gave it away, since everyone knows all good art is done on velvet.
TokyoPlayer’s favourite musician is Mondrian. Whenever it’s explained that Mondrian wasn’t a musician, TP remarks, “Doesn’t matter - that cat’s grooves still send me, man!”
swampbear’s Picasso was a portrait of Daithi Lacha only it wasn’t an abstract, he really looks like that.
You can call rayh Ray, or you can call him Jay, or you can call him Johnny, or you can call him Sonny, or you can call him RayJay, or you can call him RJ… but ya doesn’t hafta call him Johnson.
Actually, the lie is, you do have to call him Johnson. Always.
El_Kabong’s goal in life is to someday not be mistaken for the Elephant Man.
Tokyo Player comes from a famous family of aquatic circumnavigators. As a part of the family rituals of becoming a man, he had to swim around the main island of Japan.
Against the tide.
Chuck Norris’ tears can cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Cartooniverse weeps at the drop of a hat, but unfortunately his tears can do nothing of the sort, although clinical studies have shown they may have a mild benefit as a topical analgesic.