OBJECTION!
I am a teetotaler. 
OBJECTION!
The lists are typed up, neatly, not written.
All the posts in this thread are written by Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor in a vain attempt to be cool.
rayh’s username is actually pronounced like “ballonfart”. The second “L” is silent.
Joking around is fine and fun and all that, but saying such an outrageous thing about a perfectly…nice…
Never mind.
Move along, nothing to see here…
Mr. Bus Guy is well known in his home town for carrying cans of Lysol spray into shoe stores and spraying all of the new shoes “because they stink”.
SnakesCatLady is actually a snake with a cat’s head; she posts by typing with her tailtip. Larry Niven met her once, and based the catheaded snakes in World out of Time on her. He left out the slime, however.
Der Trihs’s cat’s breath smells like dog food!
B]mlerose** is just plain odd, that’s all.
It has been said that music soothes even the savage beast. Music ONLY pisses off 5-4 Fighting. May Og have mercy on your soul if you’re carrying the offending ghetto blaster.
Least Original User Name Ever posts to the Straight Dope Message Board with the username Beadalin.
Beadalin has been seen wandering the highways and byways of our fair country in search of discarded aluminum cans. When he finds one, he whispers a unknown phrase into it and holds it to his ear.
Whatever response he is listening for he does not seem to have found yet.
SnakesCarLady once came over to my house and asked to borrow a cup of music. I hid.
Aioua once held his enemy’s wife’s hand in a vat of acid. At a party.
mlerose wrote a screenplay about a midget stoner, his friends, and a rug called ‘The Small Lebowski.’ The Coen brothers stole the idea, but paid mlerose 10 million dollars to never reveal the truth.
lightingtool has been known to remove small children from their daycare centres for the express purpose of setting up a “Battle Royale for Tots”. The first match starts this Sunday.
Sierra Indigo secretly longs to be an eyewitness when one of those nutcases cuts off his own penis in a public place.
Mangetout is the world’s leading expert on toenail fungi and foot rot. He can also do a headstand for 45mins and has a secret yearning for circus midgets.
threnodyangelfire is really all three of the missing Beaumont Children
Sierra Indigo lives in a tall castle built completely from empty ice cream cartons. He shares his abode with a white possum who lost his tail in an industrial accident.
SnakesCatLady, just last night, kidnapped William Peterson (of “CSI” fame) and has dressed him up like The Gimp and is holding him prisoner in her basement.