Ahh I see. Well you’re setting a good example for him. I wonder if he ever stops to consider if stopping the game to be subservient to the audience looks weird as fuck?
I don’t understand what’s wrong with this at all. 
You should not stop the game you are playing with your friend to see if every other person would rather have the court. It’s not only rude to the actual person you’re playing with, but it shows a lack of self-confidence. He should know whether he’s on the right court or not.
And you should pay attention to the social cues around you. If someone doesn’t want you to say hi to their friend, it is not the friendly thing to do.
Okay, maybe trying to convince the rest of them to say hi was wrong, but he went of his own volition in the end, being friendly on his own accord, that’s not wrong even if forcing everyone to be in on it would be.
As for the court, I still don’t get it, if the friend doesn’t want to they can speak up and come to an agreement.
I guess I still don’t understand these customs since I’ve never experienced any of this first hand.
If you’re hanging out with someone, and they’ve expressed a desire not to socialize with a particular person (such as an ex) it’s kind of rude to dump that person and go talk to the ex. Especially if your only social connection to the ex is that she used to date your friend.
He does want to “speak up and come to an agreement,” he wants to play racketball. Constantly interrupting the game you’re in to talk to third parties is extremely poor form. Attempting to completely sabotage the game by allowing someone else to use the court is incredibly inappropriate. And the idea that the other person might “need the court more” is simply stupid. It’s a racketball court. Nobody “needs” it more than anyone else.
Hell, neither have I, but it’s not hard to see why this is incredibly aggravating behavior.
I don’t think you quite understand. Other than a handful of sporadic encounters I’ve never interacted with another person outside of school in 4/5ish years so I literally have no clue what people find annoying, I’m so afraid of offending people that I’m afraid of talking to cashiers because I don’t want to make them sad for the day because I did something wrong. As such I try to act like what everybody is railing in this thread because I thought it made people feel good that they got what they wanted (down to biting and strangling myself on occasion to punish myself for offending them because I want them to know that I got my dues) but now I’m finding out it’s just as annoying so I have no idea what to do anymore, other than take a vow to try to never make friends again.
Ah. Well. I suppose telling you not to worry about it and just be yourself isn’t going to help, is it?
I have no actual personality to speak of, never really had a chance to develop one.
Well if this isn’t an unexpected thread turn…
Personally I’d rather have a friend be too nice vs. too much of an ass. I mean if he’s gotta be flawed, at least his flaw isn’t screaming insults at passerby or losing his shit on the court. This is definitely a situation where you could say, ‘‘You know, you’re kind of a doormat. STFU and play.’’ And ruffle his hair or something so he doesn’t cry.
Not saying I can’t relate–my step-MIL, who is otherwise wonderful, falls into the ‘‘overly friendly’’ category and is constantly derailing our plans to loudly ask the cashier about her family or patronize (and I do mean patronize) the local homeless shelter. It’s not enough just to perform an act of charity–the whole world must know about her special calling to heal the world. It grates. But at the same time… at least she’s not running around kicking puppies, you know? It could be worse.
Jragon of course you have a personality. Just because you don’t have a lot of experience socially interacting with others doesn’t negate that. There are people made for all other kinds of people in this world, so just do what seems to make the most sense at the time, and it will work itself out. There’s no ‘‘right way’’ or ‘‘wrong way’’ to be (outside of being a flagrant ass, of course, but somehow I doubt that’s a problem here.) So stop --literally-- punishing yourself for who you are. No good friend would want you to put yourself through that.
Does anyone else think maybe Tim a) kinda likes Sean’s ex-girlfriend and b) kinda would rather do something else than hang out with the OP playing raquetball?
We’re sorry we thought about disagreeing with you in this thread.
When he stops the game, have you considered drilling the ball as hard as you can at his head and telling him “get your head back in the game dumbass!”?
Tim cares more for random people because he is a self-centered douche. Those people are the worst because you can’t trust them as a friend. They will quickly sell you out to anyone in order to please others.
The only thing a Tim is good for is being the designated driver every weekend.
Not to mention that it is a clear violation of the “bros before hos” rule. IOW, what the fuck are you talking to your friends ex-girlfriend for?
You are not responsible for how other people feel. You cannot control others’ emotions and it is not your job to ensure everyone else’s happiness.
The only thing you can control is your own attitude.
When you internalize those ideas and accept the fact that, if you are annoying to someone else, that is their problem and not yours, you won’t be so worried about offending people. Not everyone is going to like you. Not everyone is going to be your friend. You may not like everyone you meet. You may not want to be friends with every single person you meet. Diversity is what makes the world go 'round.
Own your emotions and be true to yourself. You do not have to, nor should you, own everyone else’s emotions as if you are responsible for every other person’s emotional state. None of us can possibly make everyone happy because happiness comes from within. Only you can make you happy and that’s because you make a conscious decision or effort to be happy.
The problem with doormats is they are people pleasers and what would please me is if my doormat friends would please themselves and not worry so much about my mental state. I can take care of myself and have enough self esteem that I don’t expect other people to make me happy.
Also, biting or strangling yourself is *never *the right thing to do, under any imaginable circumstances. Seriously.