So I just got a rather unpleasant papercut on the ring-knuckle of my left hand. It hurts, of course, like the dickens. As a recently registered doper, I would hate to have this interfere with my gleeful posting, but it does make typing rather painful.
Any suggestions on how to resolve this life-threatening issue?
Try resting four of your knuckles on a 450 degree oven rack for three or four seconds before your incredibly slow reflexes kick in…ugh, what I go through for chicken strips.
And in an ironic twist, I used the frozen bag containing the remainders to cool my hand down for the rest of the night.
I had to read that three times before I realized you weren’t actually suggesting that he do that to improve his papercut. I just couldn’t figure out how burning his hand would help his papercut. D’oh! :smack:
yeah, I’m a little slow tonight
Super glue. 
No, really, it’ll burn and make you shout bad words, but it will hold the skin together. Or you could put some antibiotic ointment and a bandaid on it.
Well, I doubt he’d even notice the papercut afterwards 
I, too, initially thought I was being mocked for my “incredibly slow reflexes” and thought that wasn’t very nice. After all, who sees a papercut coming? Then I realized that perhaps it was my incredibly slow intellect I should be mocked for…
Glad I mulled Red Barchetta’s post over before responding and sounding all hurt!
Hey, that’s exactly what I was thinking when I read RB’s original posting 
Amputation. It’s the only thing that’ll stop that sumbitch papercut from hurting. Well, I guess the oven-rack thing would as well but there’s that whole “smell of singed flesh” thing to get past
Or for the less adventurous, go with picunurse’s suggestions.
Liquid Skin, or New Skin. That stuff that makes the little layer of liquid that seals cuts and such. I got some at Walmart about a year ago, need to get some more. It should be near the band-aids and works wonders…
Brendon
I second super glue. But unlike picunurse, I pinch my skin together before gluing, so it doesn’t get in the would, and then I am profanity free.
If you use Liquid Skin or New Skin as brendon_small suggests, make sure you clean it really well first. That stuff has been known to trap infections and make it much worse.
I second putting your knuckle on the oven rack. 
Seconded. It’s much less stingy than what I imagine superglue feels like.
If I recall correctly, New Skin, Liquid Bandage and the like are all cyanoacrylates; essentially the same basic chemical composition as Super Glue, just in a much weaker preparation.
Fortunately I had a little bit of Super Glue on hand last night. Sure makes the knuckle look funky, and worked for a bit, but it seems to be starting to crack, with the constant wrinkling and un-wrinkling of skin around the knucks. Hopefully I won’t end up with a surprise bleeder!
Put some of that hand sanitizer on it. That’ll fix it right up.
Followed up with rubbing alcohol. Then a sea salt rub. Then punch some barnacles…
Is this before or after I leave it on the over rack for three or four seconds? I want to make sure I get the order right…
Yeah.
Don’t do that again.
Thanks… I’ll make sure to avoid paper for the rest of my life. As a graphic designer, that’ll be real easy to do. :rolleyes:
After. And for the record, I can’t vouch for the barnacle-punching, but he is a nurse.
Somehow I have a feeling that “punching the barnacle” may become my new favorite catchall euphemism.
Put the super glue on with the skin stretched a bit so when you bend, it will bend with you.